Sister Legally Forces Gay Couple Apart and Evicts from Home After 34 Years Together

  • metta

    Posts: 39150

    May 02, 2013 8:23 AM GMT
    Sister Legally Forces Gay Couple Apart and Evicts from Home After 34 Years Together


    http://www.queerty.com/texas-couple-forced-apart-after-34-years-20130430
  • DR2K

    Posts: 346

    May 02, 2013 11:49 AM GMT
    I take it he won't be invited to the family reunion either.
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    May 02, 2013 11:58 AM GMT
    what a nasty bitch icon_sad.gif
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    May 02, 2013 4:11 PM GMT
    Although imperfect, until there is true marriage equality, there are additional steps couples should take beyond "Power of Attorney." That property should have had both names on the deed. Why didn't the partner file for guardianship (based on a living will, where his power of attorney could have been presented)? Why did he not challenge the sister's guardianship in court, and at least seek a stay?

    Also, this property must have been amazing, for it to sell in less than two weeks.

    If this story is true, sure, she's a real cunt. But there's more story here, something I'm not getting from a Facebook post.
  • Sportsfan1

    Posts: 479

    May 02, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    Unfortunately situations like this are not that rare. Until we have marriage equality this will continue. This "sister" will get hers. Whatever goes around comes around. The couple should have taken more steps to protect themselves legally. The deed should have had both names and their should have been a legal document as to whom to contact in case of emergencies. We can all learn from this very sad case.
  • metta

    Posts: 39150

    May 02, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio said

    Also, this property must have been amazing, for it to sell in less than two weeks.


    Homes are selling really fast in many areas right now because of the shortage in inventory. I see homes in my neighborhood that sell before they can get a sign up or put it on the MLS.
  • gwuinsf

    Posts: 525

    May 02, 2013 7:42 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidAlthough imperfect, until there is true marriage equality, there are additional steps couples should take beyond "Power of Attorney." That property should have had both names on the deed. Why didn't the partner file for guardianship (based on a living will, where his power of attorney could have been presented)? Why did he not challenge the sister's guardianship in court, and at least seek a stay?

    Also, this property must have been amazing, for it to sell in less than two weeks.

    If this story is true, sure, she's a real cunt. But there's more story here, something I'm not getting from a Facebook post.


    I kinda agree. If he had Power of Attorney, why didn't he go back to court to get everything reversed. Granted, they live in Texas where things might not be so gay friendly, but it sounds like he's just given up and would rather cry woe is me. I can hardly believe that there isn't some legal recourse.
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    May 02, 2013 8:12 PM GMT
    Of course, that kind of drama goes on all the time for heteros too. It won't go away just because of marriage equality.
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    May 02, 2013 8:32 PM GMT
    Reminds me of next door neighbors of a friend of mine circa late 80s/early 90s.

    Gay couple, nice people, about 20 years apart, the elder had the money. To protect his lover from his homophobic family, he adopted the younger as his legal child, thinking that would assure that he could safely will his money to his lover.

    I forget but I think they were together for about 40 years. So the elder partner dies and the family attacks, forcing the younger (then in early 60s) out of his home, sold the house from under him and they managed to get their hands on all or most of the money.

    The younger partner then had to start working at 60 without work experience or savings or a home to his name. I remember how terrible we felt for him. And that's how mean people can be and it shows how they don't even consider us human. That this guy was mourning the loss of his partner when the partner's family attacked.

    Our lives without our human rights.
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    May 02, 2013 8:39 PM GMT
    mindgarden saidOf course, that kind of drama goes on all the time for heteros too. It won't go away just because of marriage equality.


    So it wouldn't have made any difference if those two men were in a federally recognized marriage?

    -intrigued
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    May 02, 2013 8:55 PM GMT
    At his age, he could kill her and get away with it.

    It would totally be worth it.
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    May 02, 2013 9:09 PM GMT
    I sincerely wish that she gets painful, inoperable cancer and lives the rest of her life in unending suffering.

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    May 02, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    These stories make me sick to my stomach.

    I mean, WWJD?
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    May 02, 2013 9:31 PM GMT
    Before I met my late husband he had a partner before me. The guy cheated, got HIV which he didn't reveal, and passed it on to my future husband. I only have my late husband's word for all this, although his friends in Houston told me the same thing, who knew them both. Nevertheless it technically remains hearsay.

    Anyway, my husband cared for his partner in hospital and at home, without adequate medical insurance, and went bankrupt. All during this the guy's mother refused to contribute anything to her son's medical care, nor to his home care, and seldom saw him. Though on the surface she appeared friendly to them both.

    When the son died in a Texas hospital the mother claimed the body, the hospital refusing the claim of his partner. The mother made the funeral arrangements, at which his partner was specifically barred. She told my future husband that she blamed him for infecting & killing her son, not the other way around.

    A few weeks later my future husband came home from work to find a moving van in front of the rental house where he'd lived with his late partner. The mother was there, directing the stripping of the entire house of all contents. She had also terminated the lease.

    She had gotten a court order entitling her to her late son's possessions. Except she had neglected to tell the court that her son had a roommate whose property was also there, things that had been bought by him. She did kindly allow the personal clothes of my husband to be left behind, however.

    Ironically my husband was a law clerk for a Harris County judge. But by the time he contacted that judge for a possible injunction the moving van had left, and his standing under Texas law was so weak as a gay, and in the absence of a certified contents inventory and sales receipts, he couldn't prove ownership of the removed property.

    So at age 50 he found himself suddenly homeless that very night and without any possessions, bankrupt, and many of his clothes gone, too, despite the mother's "allowance". Gay friends took him in until he could find a new rental property, where he was living when I first met him. His HIV eventually became AIDS and killed him, literally dying in my arms some years later.

    So yes, I understand heartless & vindictive family members. My current husband & I have taken great legal pains to prevent that happening to us, but I won't be surprised if his relatives, who smile at me today, will be at my throat should he predecease me. I hope other couples here are prepared for such a scenario, as well.
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    May 02, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    I want to cunt punt her.
  • WrestlerBoy

    Posts: 1903

    May 03, 2013 10:22 PM GMT
    I have seen this story a couple of times now, and of course our hearts go out to the poor guy, and to others like him, cf. Art_Deco's awful experience.

    I know there are other lawyers on this site, and I've probably missed a few posts on this subject, but here goes:

    REVOCABLE LIVING TRUST, not just a will.

    A will, as we know, is subject to probate, courts, judges, and contesting from the "family" members. A Living Trust is not subject to probate.

    A Living Trust (make it revocable, just "in case" you break up at some point) basically consists of three parts:

    1) You make a Living Trust while you are alive and well (usually). You (the "Trustmaker") establish the Trust naming your partner as the Trustee. Your friends, neighbors, FAMILY, the BANK, your lawyers, and others become used to dealing with the Trust, the Trustmaker, and the Trustee. (This is very important, should the Trust ever be contested at your death....see below).

    2) You get sick, or become mentally incapacitated. The Trust (which has been well established years before any of these events happen, let's hope) then "reifies", that is, the Trustee (your partner) "steps into your shoes" to manage the trust. Remember, it is the Trust that owns all of the property that you have put into it. Make sure you have a Living Will that will act as yet further "proof of intent", should you become unable to make your own decisions, whose mirrors the language of the Trust pertinent to this specific matter.

    3) You die. The Trustee (your partner) now "owns" the Trust, and all of the property contained in it.

    Until full rights are granted to us, nothing is beyond the realm of possibility, but it is EXTREMELY rare that such an established Trust is contested in court and those contesting it win.

    When we are talking about something as vitally important as your joint home, there is nothing, nothing at all, to prevent you putting that property into a Trust.


    Again, the Trust can NOT be probate, and the Trustee, your surviving partner, is then free to "administer" the Trust without any interference from "family" or court supervision.

    Until we finally "win", I would urge all of you who in any way feel vulnerable or threatened (in this regard) to consult an attorney about this option.











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    May 03, 2013 11:48 PM GMT
    WrestlerBoy saidI have seen this story a couple of times now, and of course our hearts go out to the poor guy, and to others like him, cf. Art_Deco's awful experience.

    Thanks for your sympathy. Though to be accurate, it wasn't MY awful experience, but my late partner's before I met him. But here's my own:

    I was now living with this guy who went through that. I knew he had HIV, but he seemed to be doing well with it. We talked about drawing legal documents, but kept procrastinating. It was like: "We're still on our honeymoon, when this becomes permanent, we'll do it."

    Well, 2 years passed, and we were still very much in love, yet we dragged our feet. At Christmas 2003 he was acting a bit strange, but I thought at first it was his drinking, which had recently increased. Then one morning a few days later he woke up in complete dementia, raving like a lunatic. I drove him to the hospital ER (a harrowing story in itself).

    Once there I realized I had no legal status. When the nurse tried to stop me from entering the treatment area with him I forced my way in, saying I was his domestic partner and had critical patient history the doctors would need (and I really did, since he was incoherent at this point).

    To their credit the doctors let me stay with him, even briefed me about his test results. But after he'd been 3 days in the hospital they told me I needed some legal documents, or I'd have to leave his bedside.

    So I asked our best friend, the President of Equality North Dakota, for an attorney referral. He put me in touch with an aggressive lawyer, who immediately got an emergency court order, an action that would normally take 90 days, making me my partner's Legal Guardian.

    It set a precedent in the State, and from that point onward the doctors deferred to me in everything. The tragedy is that my partner's condition was incurable, and he died 5 weeks later.

    So when I moved in with my present partner I was not going to relive that horror with my late partner. I told him we needed legal documents drawn without delay. You can always cancel them if you break up, but you can't retroactively draw them if one of you has a serious injury or illness.

    We retained a prominent gay attorney (presently a Fort Lauderdale City Commissioner), whose name will get the attention of most hospitals in our area. His legal documents have allowed us to be at each other's bedside with full authority, at every time we've each been hospitalized.

    No one has challenged us or denied us. In our county's computerized medical records system we're each identified as the "Next of Kin" of the other. We went to the trouble of making sure that happened, so that no one can deny us access to the other, nor question our legal right to make medical decisions for each other.

    I hope every partnered guy here has done the same. Like us, don't set yourself up to be victims of anti-gay prejudice and hatred.