Ever get guys who text you good morning everyday after the 1st date?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 8:57 AM GMT
    Guys...before responding please read the 2nd page where I said what eventually happened.

    So I went out with a guy 1 time this past weekend. It was a first-meet kind of thing. It was cool and all, but I'm not 100% on it just yet, mainly due to the age gap, which lately doesn't seem to be leading anywhere. I'm really wanting to go for guys around my age. He's been sending me messages daily, which don't get me wrong I appreciate, but we've only met 1 time...and it wasn't even a 'date' as his buddies were there too and it was a club.

    I hate to sound jaded but I've been down this road many times: the guy is all smitten after you meet and keeps daily contact with you...but then down the line they start acting like they too busy to do anything. I'm not really all that excited about the attention because I rather people do all that after the 3rd or 4th time we meet, and not just the 1st time. It kind of makes me think he's just really eager for sex or something.

    Is stuff like this considered red flags maybe? I mean hell, I just met the guy....I don't mind messages here and there, in fact I like to let each other know we're on each other's minds, but all the good morning stuff is pushing into relationship territory before we've even set the parameters.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 10:08 AM GMT
    May be he likes you and got a little bit exited. And when people get exited, they often look weird to others.
    Why don't you ask his friends(If you have any acquaintance with his friends) whether they receive messages same like you get from him.
    Don't come to conclusions without knowing much about him. If you're fortunate enough he may turnout to be a great guy!
    If he is too fast, tell him to slow down.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 1:08 PM GMT
    yeah i'd really really love to think it wasnt a red flag for you. But years of experience in having these kinds of texts tells me it isnt going anywhere, and that he will likely flake out soon. If they get excited that quickly they usually loose interest just as quickly.

    its a shame but thats how it goes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 1:53 PM GMT
    i get a good morning every morning. Although none yet today icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 6:38 PM GMT
    Embrace it for as long as it lasts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 7:57 PM GMT
    yiboz said If they get excited that quickly they usually loose interest just as quickly.

    EXCAT-FUCKING-LY!! I've experienced the same.
  • GYoungGuy

    Posts: 39

    May 02, 2013 9:19 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidSo I went out with a guy 1 time this past weekend. It was a first-meet kind of thing. It was cool and all, but I'm not 100% on it just yet, mainly due to the age gap, which lately doesn't seem to be leading anywhere. I'm really wanting to go for guys around my age. He's been sending me messages daily, which don't get me wrong I appreciate, but we've only met 1 time...and it wasn't even a 'date' as his buddies were there too and it was a club.

    I hate to sound jaded but I've been down this road many times: the guy is all smitten after you meet and keeps daily contact with you...but then down the line they start acting like they too busy to do anything. I'm not really all that excited about the attention because I rather people do all that after the 3rd or 4th time we meet, and not just the 1st time. It kind of makes me think he's just really eager for sex or something.

    Is stuff like this considered red flags maybe? I mean hell, I just met the guy....I don't mind messages here and there, in fact I like to let each other know we're on each other's minds, but all the good morning stuff is pushing into relationship territory before we've even set the parameters.


    He fall in love with your feelings, your way to be and how respectable you are, it's a nice feeling icon_smile.gif I'm feeling that right now! Just be sure that you won't hurt him, If you feel like you don't like him just ignore him a bit so he won't feel sad.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 02, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    I totally see where you are coming from, and I understand. It's good to be (to some extent) cynical about these "platonic" interests. One thing that turns me off the most (a huge red flag, that is) is when a guy shows incredible interest for me after exchanging a few words. I mean, he barely knows me, why such interest? I assume they are creating expectations (of the characteristics they like in a guy) and projecting them onto me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 10:19 PM GMT
    yiboz saidyeah i'd really really love to think it wasnt a red flag for you. But years of experience in having these kinds of texts tells me it isnt going anywhere, and that he will likely flake out soon. If they get excited that quickly they usually loose interest just as quickly.

    its a shame but thats how it goes


    Preach!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidSo I went out with a guy 1 time this past weekend. It was a first-meet kind of thing. It was cool and all, but I'm not 100% on it just yet, mainly due to the age gap, which lately doesn't seem to be leading anywhere. I'm really wanting to go for guys around my age. He's been sending me messages daily, which don't get me wrong I appreciate, but we've only met 1 time...and it wasn't even a 'date' as his buddies were there too and it was a club.

    I hate to sound jaded but I've been down this road many times: the guy is all smitten after you meet and keeps daily contact with you...but then down the line they start acting like they too busy to do anything. I'm not really all that excited about the attention because I rather people do all that after the 3rd or 4th time we meet, and not just the 1st time. It kind of makes me think he's just really eager for sex or something.

    Is stuff like this considered red flags maybe? I mean hell, I just met the guy....I don't mind messages here and there, in fact I like to let each other know we're on each other's minds, but all the good morning stuff is pushing into relationship territory before we've even set the parameters.



    Aren't you the guy who was just bitching the other day that you can't find a man?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    Speaking for the guys that would send the daily messages, it was a way for me to show my interest. It is also a good way to get to know the person. I did not have a UHAUL pulling behind me after the first date nor would I be ready for marriage, but it would a simple way to show interest, AND it paid off. It was a very good way to keep a long distance relationship moving.. that was almost 5 years ago.

    I guess I said all of that to say, it is not always a red flag. See it for what it is and enjoy it... who knows HE COULD BE THE ONE, or MAYBE the 8 that you can ROUND UP to the one. We are quick to look at why we should not trust someone, maybe we should try to look at why we should trust them.

    just my 2 cents!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 10:58 PM GMT
    It is not a red flag. Just be grateful that he likes you!
  • muscsportsguy

    Posts: 133

    May 02, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    I'm in the camp that doesn't think this is a red flag, AT ALL. I'm not sure why the automatic assumption is that if a guy is really into you he's going to just as quickly lose interest.

    My issue with it would simply be that it may be forcing you to communicate with a frequency with which you're not yet comfortable. If that's the case, just tell him. Something like, "Listen, I liked our date and I'm interested in seeing where this goes, but understand I'm someone who eases my way into things. So when you text me, if you don't hear back from me right away, don't worry about it."

    Or something along those lines.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2013 3:03 AM GMT
    You have to stop categorizing guys with pre-conceptions from past experiences. Everyone is different and unpredictable. It is also completely normal for a guy to harass you after the first day, mainly because that is the time where everything seems uncertain and he wants to make sure you understand he is interested.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2013 3:14 AM GMT
    yiboz saidIf they get excited that quickly they usually loose interest just as quickly.


    Splendidus_1 said One thing that turns me off the most (a huge red flag, that is) is when a guy shows incredible interest for me after exchanging a few words. I mean, he barely knows me, why such interest? I assume they are creating expectations (of the characteristics they like in a guy) and projecting them onto me.


    That's the problem with most of gay people, after all the fears of rejection we experience we are so eager to be loved that usually, due to expectations, things don't last.
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    May 03, 2013 3:18 AM GMT
    yeah but it was a guy that i met through a dating site and never seen before in person. icon_eek.gif he really was pushing it. gave him my number and dude just came off like he was extremely desperate. we hadn't even met each other yet and he was acting like we were official. after about a week or so, he started talking about his ex and some problems that made me go whoa, this dude most definitely is bugging. it also didn't help that he kept on texting me every single fucking minute. he was too clingy. i told him that we could be friends because he wasn't on the same page as i was.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2013 3:19 AM GMT
    charlitos saidYou have to stop categorizing guys with pre-conceptions from past experiences.


    Past experiences should, however, inform present decisions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    I think if you connected more with him this would be a non issue.
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    May 03, 2013 3:41 AM GMT
    It's harmless but could be a sign of "Clingingitus". For me, it isn't their texts that bother me as much as it is the expectation of responding. I don't want any guy to feel like I'm too good to respond or that I'm ignoring them. At the same time, it takes some time for me to build up the desire to text a guy everyday. That timeframe varies but is never after the 1st date lol, no matter how great the guy is. I like to treat everyone like an adult. I'll just tell them that I'm not used to texting a guy each day and I hope they aren't offended if I don't have anything to say.

    A lot of gay guys (and straight guys) have limited experience or just do what's been done to them.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    May 03, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    If it persists and you feel he is crowding your space just by texting so frequently, then yes.

    He may not know how to show he is interested and not be obvious at the same time.
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    May 03, 2013 4:29 AM GMT
    Good mornings after just a first date or just a few (and by few I mean, a good weeks worth) messages back and forth is a definite red flag. Not a red flag that he is clingly - but that he is the type who gets REALLY excited for a toy. SO excited that he builds it up and up and up to the point where anything less is disappointing. Sure, maybe he'll obsess over it for a week or two but then the next thing will catch his eye and he'll forget all about you.

    You wanna be the toy that he liked but didn't get too excited too quick. Maybe a bit of uncertainty. Play with it couple of times. Slowly but surely building up until you ARE THE BEST FREAKIN TOY ever and are cherished forever and ever and ever - even after it breaks or you grow out of the toy or something it's something you can look back on and say you had a good run.

    So - betting on flake here. It's a vicious cycle for these folk. icon_cool.gif I know it's nice and all but civilly tell him to cool his jets.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2013 7:25 AM GMT
    I think it is really sweet to be honest. Every guy is different.
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    May 03, 2013 8:03 AM GMT
    IceBuckets saidNot a red flag that he is clingly - but that he is the type who gets REALLY excited for a toy. SO excited that he builds it up and up and up to the point where anything less is disappointing.

    This...is what I'm talking about lol. Like I said, I appreciate the attention and I don't mind conversing with someone throughout the day. But it's just all too often that they do that in the beginning, but then drop off the face of the earth after 2-3 dates. Usually, it's always "things are crazy" or "something came up". But they were hounding me incessantly after the 1st date. They usually come back around down the line...but they're lukewarm about it. Like, they'll talk to you, as long as you messaged them, but they'll never talk about meeting up.

    I know,it's dating that's how it is. But, I want to avoid all that extracurricular to begin with and just chat here and there. I'll go a little further, it would be TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE to me if the person even CALLED me and said good morning. But all this texting stuff? To me it's like the effort ain't all there on their part. How do know if the guy is just texting to get an ego stroke throughout the day to my respones?

    There's nothing that bothers me about chatting throughout the day or what not, but is all the good morning at 7:30 am necessary? After meeting just once? That's okay once a week...but anything more it just has me thinking, okay...this guy is trying to do and say all the right things for what? Is he going to be just as courteous 10 months into it? What about 5 months? 2 months? Or is it going to be a temporary thing until he gets (or doesn't get) what he wants? (sex, attention, make the ex jealous)
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    May 03, 2013 9:27 AM GMT
    My 2 cents on this........

    Its a little thing that most would kill to have someone actually put an effort appreciating you for a night before or just being around you, i would love to wake up to g'mornings on my phone, blow it up, idk. At least someone is thinking about me, the most i can reciprocate would be....thats really nice of you and i am glad you had an awesome time. No one should get their panties up in a bunch about something so little like a txt, or getting all weirded out. Even if its a crush at first sight or whatever you call it, be appreciative is my thoughts and a thank you goes a long way. Whatever happened to getting a long with one another, if you dont like it, let him/her know. Simple as that. End thoughts and dos centos/
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    May 03, 2013 10:35 AM GMT
    Agamemnon saidMy 2 cents on this........

    Its a little thing that most would kill to have someone actually put an effort appreciating you for a night before or just being around you, i would love to wake up to g'mornings on my phone, blow it up, idk. At least someone is thinking about me, the most i can reciprocate would be....thats really nice of you and i am glad you had an awesome time. No one should get their panties up in a bunch about something so little like a txt, or getting all weirded out. Even if its a crush at first sight or whatever you call it, be appreciative is my thoughts and a thank you goes a long way. Whatever happened to getting a long with one another, if you dont like it, let him/her know. Simple as that. End thoughts and dos centos/


    Sure the one text the next morning is fine but texts daily? Dont you find that a little weird and needy?