Help me. Need advice.

  • JasonB1066

    Posts: 2

    May 03, 2013 2:00 PM GMT
    Hey everyone. I'm a straight guy, married, with 1 kid. I'm 22 and recently I've been getting these urges regarding men.

    When I was 16 I was befriended by a policeman and we became friends. I then moved in with him as a mate but I realised he was after more. He never laid a finger on me in 6 months apart from the odd walking in on me in the shower and other obvious sneak peeks of me, but never actually touched me. However, one night when we were drunk in our flat I passed out and woke up to feel him stroking my manhood through my jeans. I pretended I was still asleep and eventually he stopped and we fell asleep. In the morning it was really awkward and he knew I had woken up and kept saying I was gay. We fell out and that was that.

    Recently though I've been thinking about him. And not just gay thoughts, but ive been having desires to be forced by him, and sometimes other men. I have this image of being held down and licked out and generally being used and abused against my will. Just typing this makes me hard.

    I'm reaching out here e cause I love my wife, and I find women far more sexually stimulating, but yet there's a part of me that would love to try what it would be like with a guy. But being forced is a must.

    Can anyone relate to this? I don't know what it means? Am I bi-sexual? Or is it just a fantasy ad doesn't mean I'm gay??

    Jason
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2013 2:57 PM GMT
    "feelings for men but find women far more sexually stimulating"
    You're most likely a bi with slightly inclined for women.

    "being forced is a must"!? but why? do you mean like masochism? or are you feeling uncomfortable to accept yourself as bi?

    you already have a family(a wife and a beautiful kid)...just don't ruin it.
    If you're in confusion...calm down and think.

    I have a suggestion, it may or may not be applicable for you...but anyway, here it goes...
    Generally speaking, when people are not happy, or not satisfied, or in stress or whatever that causes -ve emotions in their life, they tend get bored or dislike or not appealing to the people or things which they already have....Instead they look for something new and starts exploring new things with high curiosity & many times this adventure may lead to something bad. But if they try to solve the problems which causing them distress, all your lost feelings will come back to your life....
    So, are you having any problems in your life?
    asking yourself this question may look silly and unrelated to the topic...but in many cases it has a direct relation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2013 3:16 PM GMT
    This may help.

    See this spectrum?

    16_shades_of_gray.png



    Let's call the far left side (white) gay and the far right side (black) straight. You are somewhere in the middle in the zillion degrees of Bi. From the sounds of it you are close to the right side of the spectrum. So though you have some homosexual urges, they are only that. Bear in mind that this could change as I've found in my observations and talks with psychologist friends that Bisexuality can be, for some, pretty fluid.

  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    May 03, 2013 3:34 PM GMT
    you're very young to get married n have kids so soon, it all must be a rush n i agree with harry you're probably getting bored with the routine,
    i had a guy friend who was confused about his sexuality but it was more about the domination than the gender, he got aroused at the thought of a girl dominating him too with a strap-on
    if your wife is open to experimenting sexually maybe you can try something like that with her? its better to satisfy your urges at home than away
  • JasonB1066

    Posts: 2

    May 03, 2013 3:59 PM GMT
    Thanks everyone. So good to find somewhere I can talk about it.

    My wife isnt interested at all. We've grown apart so there is an element of stress there. But I've been having fantasies of men doing things to me for a while. I don't know where the being forced bit comes from. I just get really turned on by the idea of not volunteering. Being used for someone else's desires I suppose. The more I think about it the more I feel inclined to explore it. Sometimes I can't concentrate at work because in imagining it at my desk. The idea of staying late and someone walks in and uses me in the way. Its scary to think I'm like this. But then its a real urge. Its not like I'm bored. Its like I need to do it.

    Appreciate all your advice guys. I wonder if sometimes I just have to accept I like men as well as women.