How to tell someone you want an open relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 1:43 AM GMT
    For the guys who are in one, how did you brought it up with your partner? How do you tell someone you think they're great but you still wanna have some fun on the side? Any usual rules?


    Thanks!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 1:46 AM GMT
    "hey i'm getting a bit bored of your butt hole, can I sleep with other guys?"

    done.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 05, 2013 1:50 AM GMT
    Just make sure you have all your emergency numbers are on speed dial and there are no weapons in plain view. And wear running shoes.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 1:51 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidJust make sure you have all your emergency numbers are on speed dial and there are no weapons in plain view. And wear running shoes.icon_wink.gif



    Hahahaha icon_lol.gif

    tumblr_lqclwzdL2j1qiafx2.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    Seric said"hey i'm getting a bit bored of your butt hole, can I sleep with other guys?"

    done.


    Something a little bit less blunt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:12 AM GMT
    A_X91 said
    Seric said"hey i'm getting a bit bored of your butt hole, can I sleep with other guys?"

    done.


    Something a little bit less blunt.


    Put on your big boy pants, and just say it straight forward. Guys don't take the hint, unless you say it like it is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:14 AM GMT
    Seric said
    A_X91 said
    Seric said"hey i'm getting a bit bored of your butt hole, can I sleep with other guys?"

    done.


    Something a little bit less blunt.


    Put on your big boy pants, and just say it straight forward. Guys don't take the hint, unless you say it like it is.


    Something tells me something happened to you in the past few days.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:15 AM GMT
    MisfitToy said
    Seric said
    A_X91 said
    Seric said"hey i'm getting a bit bored of your butt hole, can I sleep with other guys?"

    done.


    Something a little bit less blunt.


    Put on your big boy pants, and just say it straight forward. Guys don't take the hint, unless you say it like it is.


    Something tells me something happened to you in the past few days.....


    I don't know what you're talking about.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:24 AM GMT
    MisfitToy said
    Seric said
    A_X91 said
    Seric said"hey i'm getting a bit bored of your butt hole, can I sleep with other guys?"

    done.


    Something a little bit less blunt.


    Put on your big boy pants, and just say it straight forward. Guys don't take the hint, unless you say it like it is.


    Something tells me something happened to you in the past few days.....


    ???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:31 AM GMT
    Ideally you would already know what his opinion on open relationships is, as it could make the question very easy to ask. However, if you ask in a blatant way it comes across very transparently haha
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 05, 2013 2:34 AM GMT
    I think we should start seeing other people ... it's not you ... I really think you are a great person and any guy would be so lucky to have you ... but ... it's me ... I just need more than a single relationship at this time in my life .... maybe if we had met 10 years from now, things would be different, and I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready to settle down into a relationship right now.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    May 05, 2013 2:34 AM GMT
    Ohno saidIdeally you would already know what his opinion on open relationships is, as it could make the question very easy to ask. However, if you ask in a blatant way it comes across very transparently haha

    Yeah, I was wondering if you (OP) have ever had a conversation about ORs with your partner. I've only been in one OR but we set it up that way from the beginning.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:38 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidI think we should start seeing other people ... it's not you ... I really think you are a great person and any guy would be so lucky to have you ... but ... it's me ... I just need more than a single relationship at this time in my life .... maybe if we had met 10 years from now, things would be different, and I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready to settle down into a relationship right now.


    tumblr_lwb0vcCgvm1qzgpx9.gif

    OR, you can say "Hey, you crack is like a black hole, I'm really not feeling anything. Lets open our relationship."

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:41 AM GMT
    Seric said
    MisfitToy said
    Seric said
    A_X91 said
    Seric said"hey i'm getting a bit bored of your butt hole, can I sleep with other guys?"

    done.


    Something a little bit less blunt.


    Put on your big boy pants, and just say it straight forward. Guys don't take the hint, unless you say it like it is.


    Something tells me something happened to you in the past few days.....


    I don't know what you're talking about.


    You seem bitter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 9:53 AM GMT
    MisfitToy said
    Seric said
    MisfitToy said
    Seric said
    A_X91 said
    Seric said"hey i'm getting a bit bored of your butt hole, can I sleep with other guys?"

    done.


    Something a little bit less blunt.


    Put on your big boy pants, and just say it straight forward. Guys don't take the hint, unless you say it like it is.


    Something tells me something happened to you in the past few days.....


    I don't know what you're talking about.


    You seem bitter.


    I guess it shows huh. I'll tell you about it later. It's a bit personal, I don't think I'm ready to seek help from any Guy right now. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 9:59 AM GMT
    I would suggest that you just ask him. Beating around the bush never got anyone anywhere. I wouldn't do it, but some friends of mine have the usual "be safe, no messing around at home, no playing with friends. . . Etc" rules.

    Geez Seric, I was gonna say the same thing. Your posts lately have been a little more out there. Don't know what's going on, but I'm sure it'll get better. Stay optimistic. :^] **hugs**
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    May 05, 2013 10:02 AM GMT
    A relationship is supposed to be between one person and one person. I can't stand the open relationship thing. Either you love the person youre with or you don't. If not then break up and find someone else. Open relationships also open both you and your current partner to other issues such as S.T.D.'#not following the ruls set up between you two etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 10:07 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidI would suggest that you just ask him. Beating around the bush never got anyone anywhere. I wouldn't do it, but some friends of mine have the usual "be safe, no messing around at home, no playing with friends. . . Etc" rules.

    Geez Seric, I was gonna say the same thing. Your posts lately have been a little more out there. Don't know what's going on, but I'm sure it'll get better. Stay optimistic. :^] **hugs**


    I'll talk to you later about it.

    As for the OP, sorry dude, if I was being an ass. Honestly, speaking as the seric from a few days ago, I'm sure he would have said something on the lines of, "communication is key, that it's best if you gently talk to him about the idea of it first, see what he says, and tell him how you feel."
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 05, 2013 2:10 PM GMT
    bring these guys home...

    tumblr_m7z711UpJg1qcfh7po1_500.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:32 PM GMT
    It was me who brought up the topic in my relationship. I was just open and honest about how I felt. I knew that it could blow up in my face but luckily my partner is an adult and we agreed from the very beginning that having an open line of communication was important as we didn't have that in our previous relationship. Understand though that your partner may not want to have an open relationship and you have to decide if you're okay with that otherwise resentment is going to play a part is destroying your relationship. Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 2:41 PM GMT


    "How to tell someone you want an open relationship?"

    May I ask; what is your relationship like, as in what kind of commitment have you mutually made with each other and how long has it been?

    -intrigued
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    May 05, 2013 3:00 PM GMT
    chadwick1985 saidA relationship is supposed to be between one person and one person. I can't stand the open relationship thing. Either you love the person youre with or you don't. If not then break up and find someone else. Open relationships also open both you and your current partner to other issues such as S.T.D.'#not following the ruls set up between you two etc.


    I tend to share your opinion, but I've come to realize that it can be a little naive. I still wouldn't choose an open relationship for myself, but I understand that they work for a lot guys. One size does not fit all. I know a couple who have been in an OR for over 20 years and they seem happy and solid. I would have to be an idiot to say their relationship is invalid just because they don't look at sex the same way I do. You don't have to agree with all he says, but read Dan Savage on this subject. It's not about changing your values, it's about understanding that other guys can have different values that are equally valid FOR THEM.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 05, 2013 6:38 PM GMT
    here is the problem. this is not one of those topics that you have when you 3 or 5 years into the relationship. this is something you have in the beginning. its funny someone mention my partner was a adult about and new that it was ok. ha ha ha that's sort condescending to say. anyhow, i think you need to sit him down at home and just say babe i have something i really want to talk to you about. what do you think about being in a open relationship. tell him what you think. let him know what's on your mind. he could say sure or he could say ok you can do it without me. personally a open relationship is not for me. i do not like sharing. the main reason you are with someone is because they are special to you. if everyone else gets to share you than it is no longer special. anyhow, good luck and let us know how it goes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 6:52 PM GMT
    Seric said
    Slim2010 saidGeez Seric, I was gonna say the same thing. Your posts lately have been a little more out there. Don't know what's going on, but I'm sure it'll get better. Stay optimistic. :^] **hugs**


    I'll talk to you later about it.


    We have all noticed the change. You are too young to become one of the bitter queens on this site. Wait until you're 30.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 6:55 PM GMT
    I'm pretty sure your relationship is over, if it wasn't open from the beginning.