Why do people say "no offense"...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    ...when the whole point is to say something that can be taken as offensive?! I'd prefer that a person just says what it is that they want to say and leave out the extra sugar-coating.
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    May 05, 2013 6:54 PM GMT
    True. It's senseless.

    Another thing that bugs me is when people say "one of the only". What does that even mean?
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    May 05, 2013 9:28 PM GMT
    BlackJockTN said...when the whole point is to say something that can be taken as offensive?! I'd prefer that a person just says what it is that they want to say and leave out the extra sugar-coating.


    You're right, it just signifies that someone is about to say something offensive. I guess they mean "I am really a nice person and wouldn't try to offend you generally but you're such a douche in this case everyone should give me a pass" - so it really doesn't work.
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    May 05, 2013 9:35 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    seekonk saidTrue. It's senseless.

    Another thing that bugs me is when people say "one of the only". What does that even mean?

    It defines a single item in a unique set. "I have one of the only violins that Stradivarius made himself." As opposed to those cranked out by his apprentices.


    Hmm, I don't buy it, but I am not quite sure how to explain why.

    Only can be used with a plural noun if the entire collection is being especially indicated, so it's okay to say "These are the only violins Stradivarius made" (e.g., if you have a picture album of all of them). But, "I like the only violins Stradivarius made," sounds like nonsense, and if that is nonsense, then "I like one of the only violins Stradivarius made" can also only be nonsense. If you want the meaning to be transmitted, you have to say instead "I like one of the unique violins Stradivarius made."


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    May 05, 2013 9:38 PM GMT
    ...or it can be like this:

    Joe told Fred that gay people are bad because where he grew up there were a couple of gays that he heard about through the grapevine that stole stuff from the convenience store and one of them tried to make out with the straight guy at the gas bar.

    The town eventually made life rotten enough for them that they left.

    ( a little research showed Fred that the two did nothing of the sort and it was strictly bigoted gossip and the townsfolk went ahead anyway and acted out)

    So Fred says, " Joe, no offense, but that town you grew up in is full of bigotry."

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    May 06, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    Mental is not to be opinionated .
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    May 06, 2013 2:59 AM GMT
    I say it because I don't like offending people. Even when it's true. Sometimes when you don't say it, you come off as mean, or cruel. It at least cushions the blow.

    Simple things like that can make or break a day. And who doesn't want a good day?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 06, 2013 3:01 AM GMT
    @ seeonk, no offense, but you are one of the only people who doesn't get what "one of the only" means.icon_confused.gif
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    May 06, 2013 3:11 AM GMT
    I guess because they're being honest, but they don't want or it wasn't their intention to upset you. It's like, would you rather me say something nice but it'll be a white lie, or do you want me to be honest. And sometimes, the truth hurts.
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    May 06, 2013 3:38 AM GMT
    Saying "no offense" doesn't make it less offensive.

    Here's my approach: If I'm going to say something offensive, then I readily admit it.

    "It may seem racist when I say this.."
    "I know this may sound crude..."
    "I'm going to be a jerk for a minute.."
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    May 06, 2013 3:46 AM GMT
    xrichx saidSaying "no offense" doesn't make it less offensive.

    Here's my approach: If I'm going to say something offensive, then I readily admit it.

    "It may seem racist when I say this.."
    "I know this may sound crude..."
    "I'm going to be a jerk for a minute.."


    Let me be Frank...
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    May 06, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    Night_Owl said
    xrichx saidSaying "no offense" doesn't make it less offensive.

    Here's my approach: If I'm going to say something offensive, then I readily admit it.

    "It may seem racist when I say this.."
    "I know this may sound crude..."
    "I'm going to be a jerk for a minute.."


    Let me be Frank...


    Before you do, what's Frank like? Is he nice? icon_lol.gif

    (sorry I couldn't resist!)
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    May 06, 2013 4:32 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Night_Owl said
    xrichx saidSaying "no offense" doesn't make it less offensive.

    Here's my approach: If I'm going to say something offensive, then I readily admit it.

    "It may seem racist when I say this.."
    "I know this may sound crude..."
    "I'm going to be a jerk for a minute.."


    Let me be Frank...


    Before you do, what's Frank like? Is he nice? icon_lol.gif

    (sorry I couldn't resist!)


    That is exactly what I thought when I typed that! Haha.
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    May 06, 2013 4:35 AM GMT
    Night_Owl said
    meninlove said
    Night_Owl said
    xrichx saidSaying "no offense" doesn't make it less offensive.

    Here's my approach: If I'm going to say something offensive, then I readily admit it.

    "It may seem racist when I say this.."
    "I know this may sound crude..."
    "I'm going to be a jerk for a minute.."


    Let me be Frank...


    Before you do, what's Frank like? Is he nice? icon_lol.gif

    (sorry I couldn't resist!)


    That is exactly what I thought when I typed that! Haha.


    icon_lol.gif

    You would get along great with Aristoshark; same ticklely good droll humor.

    *still laughing*
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 06, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    no offense = now don't be going all freaking ballistic and getting your panties all up in a bunch, but ....

    as you can see 'no offense' is easier to say
  • AlexGuess

    Posts: 364

    May 06, 2013 5:16 AM GMT
    In my case, when I´m trying to be constructive I use that phrase, I am very categoric with the way I think and see things, so people tend to always think I´m being just pessimistic and only want to criticize the things they do, but I never tell people what I think if it can hurt them, unless I really care about them and want them to improve, some people are very difficult accepting criticism.
  • spemat

    Posts: 44

    May 06, 2013 5:06 PM GMT
    George Carlin has a whole skit on youtube about political correctness and it's sugarcoating nature. Plus, people sue for the lamest stuff so in that view of things, it makes sense. It is cultural.
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    May 06, 2013 5:08 PM GMT
    It's up there with

    " I'm not racist BUT............" icon_lol.gif
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    May 06, 2013 5:15 PM GMT
    Isn't that the same thing as finishing a criticism of someone with "... bless his/her heart"?
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    May 06, 2013 5:23 PM GMT
    NJShiftyJK saidIsn't that the same thing as finishing a criticism of someone with "... bless his/her heart"?


    southerners love that one xD
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    May 06, 2013 5:28 PM GMT
    I kinda say it sometimes, when I feel I'm about to say something that could be taken the wrong way....like "don't get mad, but....." or..... "im not trying to offend you, however....."

    I mean, it softens the blow?
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    May 09, 2013 12:37 PM GMT
    Why soften a blow? Just man-up and say it.
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    May 09, 2013 12:45 PM GMT
    Mine is "to be honest" which to me would imply that the speaker is not always honest.
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    May 09, 2013 12:49 PM GMT
    It means I'm saying something to make a point in a discussion, not to get a rise out of the other person.
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    May 09, 2013 1:09 PM GMT
    It's the same as saying, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but....."