May 09, 2013 9:40 PM GMT
If you're hearing someone in the distance singing "Unfap My D*ck!" like a sad Toni Braxton, that's me!
As many of you probably know, I have a downright pitiful fetish for hunky wrestlers, and very few have been as high up on my totem pole of p0rn than Jay Briscoe.
He and his brother Mark (Jamin Pugh and Mark Pugh, respectively, in real life) have been like a lot of those AAA baseball All-stars that, for one reason or another, get some brief callups but never quite make it stick in the big leagues. For many pro rasslin fans that avoid the top promotions like the plague, "The Briscoe Brothers" are the Kane and Undertaker of the rest of the bunch. Jay is the more photogenic and the bigger loudmouth among the two, so Jay projects himself to the wrestling world like Penn does to Mark's Teller.
They've staked their claim by being MORE outlandish and brash than anyone in the business. That is, in their performance. That's part of the reason why I've always looked past the Confederate getups, the same way I would for an Iron Sheik or a Ted DeBiase in the past. It's why, once Jay got himself on Twitter, spending plenty of time verbally bashing Obama and various and sundry liberals online, I've passed it off as mere.political ignorance that is his right to spew.
I always wondered, though, how long it would take before he trips over the Third Rail of homophobia (and I'm not saying he hasn't already done so before). This time, he's wrapped a figure-four leg lock around the third rail. For someone who poses as uncaring about anyone or anything for a living, it would take an incredible level of outrage to wrestle him away from the Twitter. Outrage like what ensued after he said THIS last night:
Jay Briscoe (@jaybriscoe84, via Twitter)"The Delaware Senate passed a bill yesterday that allows same sex couples to get married. If that makes you happy, then congratulations!!!!!
... try and teach my kids that there's nothing wrong with that and I'll f**king shoot you"
No, he's not going to piledrive you, "teachers." This 220-pound thug will reach for his weapon of choice and shoot you with it. Now, if any of his children or grandchildren grow up to be gay, despite all his Biblical protests and roid-raged threats, then what weapon will he choose?
It was something the brothers did as 16-and-17-year-old kids, ironically, that put them on the path to C-List fame in the first place. They worked out a contract and wrestled at Philly's famous ECW arena... underaged, by Pennsylvania state law. Somehow, no one cared that it wasn't OK, and somehow, no one got shot for signing the kids up.
The brothers are from Sandy Fork, Delaware and grew up in Laurel, Delaware. The description on Jay's Twitter's page read: "We say grace, we say amen. If you ain't into that, we don't give a damn." Of course, somebody gave a damn, apparently, because his Twitter has been deleted.
Ring of Honor (the largest wrestling promotion company after WWE and TNA) was quick to usher out a response for their most recognizable employee. but as the current Ring of Honor world champion (this is his first title reign, winning it just last month), he's put all their related storylines in a quandary, not to mention the reputation. With such a violently threatening statement, he's now forced his legions of fans to take sides they shouldn't have to take.
Ring of Honor statement (via prowrestling.net)"Ring of Honor Wrestling respects and appreciates every fan regardless of age, gender, race, religion or sexual preference. The recent post by Jay Briscoe does not represent the views or opinions of Ring of Honor Wrestling, its owners, management or employees."
It represents the view of at least one employee. Unless, of course, they've fired him.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a bunch of pics and vids of Jay Briscoe to delete from my "stash."