Cross generation Relationship/ Young and Old

  • fLiP21

    Posts: 48

    May 10, 2013 5:15 PM GMT
    I'm seeing a guy named Jeff who's in his mid 50's, while I'm 19, turning 20 in October. He has a stable career, house, etc. while I'm in college. I'm not some individual who didn't have a father figure, etc. Compared to other people my age, even since freshman year in high school, I have been more mature which is why I feel more attracted to older men. I just find most people in my age group to be immature for my taste. I was never the one who goes to parties every weekend, getting drunk, hook ups, etc. One of the reasons why age is not an issue with me is because my parents are significantly older than most, my dad is 79 and my mom is 60. What are your guys opinions about cross generation relationships? Have any of you ever encountered a cross generation relationship? My friend Lena thinks it's just a summer fling or whatever because of the age gap and that we won't last very long, but then again she always had met pretty crappy guys, ex. supposed recovering drug addict. Do you guys have any tips to transcend the age difference in a cross generation relationship? We genuinely like each other outside of sex and are starting to know each other more, but I feel like all I hear are negative remarks on how it will never work because of the difference in age. To me, that's like saying an Asian guy can't really have a relationship with an American guy because one culture is collectivist, the other individualistic, and that the difference in culture will make the relationship short. Sorry for the long rant! I appreciate your insight.
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    May 10, 2013 6:44 PM GMT
    Not saying this speaks for every case but I knew a guy in his 50s who was only turned on sexually by youth. Seriously never once, as far as I know and I think I'd have known otherwise, not once did he ever have sex with someone his own age nor even near it. I figured an immature-looking 22/23 was his cut-off. He could develop platonic relationships with older people, but never at an emotionally intimate level. Though he was extremely social & professionally successful, so unless you tried to get close to him, you wouldn't know of his intimacy issues.

    He tried a few times to have relationships with younger guys but they never lasted more than I think it was a year or two, most much shorter. The longest one coincidentally broke up when the younger started growing facial hair and sporting a mustache. Maybe unrelated but those two events definitely occurred at about the same time.

    Now pretty much everyone has some sort of fetish so it would depend on how attached he is to that, assuming that's his attraction to you. Fetishizing age is a bit different than being attracted to a certain color or ethnicity. It's closer to being attracted to a certain body type but I'd think it could be even more stringent because while we may gain or lose weight over the years, or we might become stricken by bad health, while our skin color or ethnicity generally stay stable throughout life, the only thing currently preventing aging is death.

    So I think a legitimate concern regarding a 50something year old interested in a 19 year old might be that. Now I'd think there are also people who can be sexually aroused by adults of all ages, in which case I'd not be as concerned.
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    May 16, 2013 3:28 AM GMT
    You can do way better