Share Positive or Negative Relationship Stories

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2007 11:49 AM GMT
    I must say that I feel like the luckiest guy on the planet. Marllus 24 years young and myself 44 years young, met on Real Jock a while back. I think the reason we are still together is that we love each other unconditionally, communitation is always present and we both feel completely free to share with each other without feeling judged. We accept each other totally in terms of the mental, physical and spiritual. Sexually, we enjoy each other totally which is the frosting on the cake!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2007 2:02 PM GMT
    My longest relationship was my last and it lasted four months from the end of december 2005 - april 2006. In a sense it is my first as well as the others I've "dated" didn't go beyond a few dates.

    He was a half Japanese half Aussie guy, two years younger than me and we met online. At first, I wasn't sure what he wanted out of meeting me as most of the time, sex is usually the main agenda though in that moment of my life I needed something more meaningful and longterm and I knew I should give a relationship a try and we grew very close and were head over heels calling each other constantly and seeing one another every chance we got.

    After a while, he started becoming distant towards me blaming his studying as his reasons which I understood given his personality and after a week of not contacting me I couldn't take it and I asked if he still liked me and he replied yes but he needed time apart to concentrate on study. It was one of the hardest thing I've had to do, confronting him and so I made a video for him telling him how much he meant in my life and sent it to his email hoping he'd remember that I'm there for him.
    He replied the next day, saying that he just stopped liking me and would like it if we were just friends and he's sorry for everything and it was all his fault and not mine that it didn't work.

    I replied saying I was sad that he felt this way and that I still want him in my life no matter what. After a few days, I didn't feel right doing this over the computer so I asked if we could meet to talk about us and he agreed. When we met, he eventually said that the reasons that he broke up with me were that we were too similar in personality and as his first language is japanese and I didn't speak it, he felt sorry for me when we hung out with his friends as I was often left out of conversations which I didn't mind and some other things I can't recall.

    And that was it. I cried for a week and a half and fell into a slump for months and I even a year on, I feel the same way about him and still dream about him though we no longer speak. He started seeing people a week after the breakup. We share the same friends which can be awkward more so on my behalf.

    I'm still learning japanese, though my interest has slightly dissipated. I try not to think of the negative though when you tell a story it's hard not to. Language barriers was something I thought the love for someone transcended but it didn't happen to me. We didn't survive the "honeymoon" period which is a shame.

    If the first guy you fall in love with is the one you judge all other guys to, it's gonna be a bumpy road ahead. lol
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Mar 19, 2007 4:11 PM GMT
    Hey Jim

    Nice and touching story. It is horrible when things don't work out, especially if you hoped they might.

    It is good you grieved for your relationship, as the worst thing you could be is cynical and at least you know that you have the ability to fall in love. I think that you will love again and in time, when you have new friends and are in a different place, be ready to receive someone into your life, that deserves you.

  • shinelove92

    Posts: 3

    Apr 02, 2007 10:47 PM GMT
    hi, iam new here,
    but i think it depend on the type of relationship
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2007 8:52 AM GMT
    thanks laurence, it's hard when you're living the moment and you can feel every minute go by, i think i've made peace with the fact it didn't work out and i've actively tried to.

    i don't necessarily believe that people deserve anything they have in life, whether good or bad, though sometimes i wish i could get a break! lol

    it was incredibly good motivation to work out though, never felt so fit in my life lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 3:26 AM GMT
    Worst relationship I've been in lasted 7.5 years. Everything was wrong, and I spent most of my time miserable. When I left him, it felt like I got out of prison. I got involved in the first place because he seemed to have life "figured out" in ways that I didn't. I came to learn that he thought he knew The Rules--and he was only too happy to explain The Rules to me and came down on me hard when I didn't follow them--but the truth is, that there are no rules in life, and thinking that you have them all figured out is along the lines of, "if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."

    Best relationship of my life lasted six months. He's a wonderful man. Spending time with him was like spending time with myself. I liked everything about him, even his short-comings. And he let me know that he really liked me. He thought I was kind and thoughtful and strong and insightful. And the sex we had was a blow the roof off situation. I thought he was the hottest man on the planet. When he would walk into the room, I'd get a hardon. And, I believe, I had the same effect on him. It ended because his life got complicated, he didn't feel he could hold up his end in a relationship. I decided to be a man and take it on the chin. We're still friends, even though he's now living in SF.

    The moral of the story? Henceforth, I'm not gonna "settle." I won't be in a relationship just to be in a relationship, or, worse yet, because I don't want to be alone. He's gotta be wild about me, and I've gotta be wild about him. It's gotta be The Real Thing, or we're just wasting our time.

    And I'll wait patiently until that comes along, and make sure in the meantime that I have a happy, fulfilling, rich life, filled with love and learning and laughter.

    All the best,

  • ndbilly

    Posts: 71

    Jun 01, 2007 12:46 PM GMT
    Ah... Relationships. Interesting timing for this thread as I am coming out of what I thought was my forever.

    3 days ago my bf of 2.5 years decided to call it quits. It is very simple really, he fell out of love with me. Needless to say, my heart is broken.

    Luckily we are both being extremely mature and I appreciate that you need to have that feeling for each other and that I can't make him love me. Unfortunately understanding that doesn't take away the hurt, the pressure on the chest, the lump in your throat or the tears in your eyes.

    I have been blessed to spend the time that we have had together and have learned alot.

    1) I was his first relationship ever... there is no replacement for at least some experience to appreciate what you have and I hope that he doesn't regret it later. I also hope that he does find that person that he can have his forever with.

    2) Love hurts. But it is still far better to have had that love than to not have had it.

    3) If you are good enough to share everything for that long, you can and should also me mature enough to keep that friendship. you have to realise that regardless, you are important to each other.

    4) Don't move in too quickly!

    5) Laugh cause otherwise you will cry

    6) friends are amazing. They have come out from the woodworks to lend support, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend, etc. for which I am eternally greatful.

    7) As much as I would love to hate him, he has my heart.

    8) I look forward to loving again and to being loved in return.

    9) love hurts.

    10) Did I mention that love hurts?

    Ok, so those are my thoughts. I love him and adore him and sure I will get over it and regret nothing of the time that we spent in each others arms.

  • ndbilly

    Posts: 71

    Jun 01, 2007 12:47 PM GMT
    How about that for my first post ever!!! lol!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 12:57 PM GMT
    The year is 1985. I was a foreign student in United States. I was 19 and he is 35. He have a live in lover already, so I am kinda a third person in his relationship. He live in another town and come to visit me about once a month. I was young and totaly in love with this guy. I look forward and cherish every moment I spend with him. Until today (2007) I have never experience sex as good as when I am with him. Latter on I meet another American guy and he and I live together. Yet I still look forward for the monthly visit from my first lover. I can still remember the cheap motel, cheating and lying to my live in lover, making out in his car and having sex while my mind is with somebody else.

    Through out my affair he never once told me he love me, while my live in lover constantly reminded me that he love me.

    Twenty years latter living in my own country and United States only a distance memory ,I manage to find his email address and recommunicate with him. Just like before he is still living with his lover and only wanted me as a third person . He dont even allow me to call him at home in order not to upset his lover .

    Only now that I realise what a fool I have been. Sometime we cannot follow out heart (or can I say d-ck) to much. It time to move on , I am a younger still attractive 41 , and he is approaching 60. I deserve a better men than that.