Got HIV from protected sex

  • Jakey_jakey

    Posts: 14

    May 12, 2013 4:24 AM GMT
    So, I was dating a guy for while and we had sex probably few times a week.
    In February, he then found that he had herpes. We had sex after that only once and he was bleeding pretty bad but we used condoms.
    and He told me he just found out that he was HIV positive on March.
    I went to get tested and my rapid test came negative.
    They called me the next day and told me that the blood work came positive.
    Meaining that I got it very recent.

    We never had unprotected sex and rarely did oral.
    Yes it wasn't a smart choice to fuck someone with herpes but I had condoms on and I was top.

    I really have no idea how I got it from.

    yes it;s already too late but I wanna know so that I won't give it to someone else. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2013 7:20 AM GMT
    Condoms are usually safe but not 100 percent. They can break or get tiny holes. I am not sure but I think it more likely that you got some blood in your penis from his bleeding sores possibly before or after you had the condom on, possibly transmitted there by you hands. This is a very unlikely case so I feel for you man. As far as you transmitting the virus to another person, I do not see why you should feel guilty if you continue to use the proper protection.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 12, 2013 7:24 AM GMT
    wow, i am sorry to hear that buddy. well if you are usually using a condom than you should be ok
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    May 12, 2013 7:51 AM GMT
    Addy23 saidI don't know what to say over here.. but I am sorry bud. I really appreciate that you are so good at heart.

    There could be few reasons behind this:
    -Oral sex may cause this though you said yo had rarely, but just once is enough to cause.
    -sometimes we don't realize that condom has burst inside in the heat of passion.
    - apart from sex if you ever shared blade/ niddle/ knife which accidently did this.

    please let us know how you are dealing with this.


    Oral sex is highly unlikely unless someone has an open wound which the sperm can reach.

    Condoms are the most likely answer. ven when used correctly, a condom is about 98 per cent effective. This means roughly about 2 in every 100 men are exposed even with a use of a condom.

    I am paranoid so I double bag it when I hook up with someone new

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    May 12, 2013 7:57 AM GMT
    desert_hero said


    I am paranoid so I double bag it when I hook up with someone new



    This is stupid
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    May 12, 2013 8:00 AM GMT
    desert_hero said
    Addy23 saidI don't know what to say over here.. but I am sorry bud. I really appreciate that you are so good at heart.

    There could be few reasons behind this:
    -Oral sex may cause this though you said yo had rarely, but just once is enough to cause.
    -sometimes we don't realize that condom has burst inside in the heat of passion.
    - apart from sex if you ever shared blade/ niddle/ knife which accidently did this.

    please let us know how you are dealing with this.


    Oral sex is highly unlikely unless someone has an open wound which the sperm can reach.

    Condoms are the most likely answer. ven when used correctly, a condom is about 98 per cent effective. This means roughly about 2 in every 100 men are exposed even with a use of a condom.

    I am paranoid so I double bag it when I hook up with someone new



    Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's even more unsafe.
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    May 12, 2013 8:02 AM GMT
    Actually if think about it. It's clever.
    You further decrease the likelihood of the condom breaking. If according to his stats there's a .05-20% chance of a condom not working then using two condoms would pretty make sure there's no chance of the condom failing.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2013 8:03 AM GMT
    The only safe sex is no sex. But there is safer sex.
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    May 12, 2013 8:07 AM GMT
    Joeyphx444 said
    desert_hero said


    I am paranoid so I double bag it when I hook up with someone new



    This is stupid


    ya - this really is stupid of you to do. You may as well not use a condom at all if you're gonna screw around by using 2. Maybe educate yourself on the dangers of doubling the wrapping around your cock...

    to the OP - really sorry to hear that. I hope you have a good support system - and remember that it is in no way a death sentence these days. As long as you are careful and take your health seriously, you will still have a great life!
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    May 12, 2013 8:11 AM GMT
    green_eyed_stud saidActually if think about it. It's clever.
    You further decrease the likelihood of the condom breaking. If according to his stats there's a .05-20% chance of a condom not working then using two condoms would pretty make sure there's no chance of the condom failing.



    icon_neutral.gif
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    May 12, 2013 8:16 AM GMT
    Stuck said
    green_eyed_stud saidActually if think about it. It's clever.
    You further decrease the likelihood of the condom breaking. If according to his stats there's a .05-20% chance of a condom not working then using two condoms would pretty make sure there's no chance of the condom failing.



    icon_neutral.gif



    Yah and 2 poz guys barebacking has 0 risk icon_rolleyes.gif
    Damn gay people claim to be educated and are activists and into civil right yet they seem to be dumb when it comes to sex, typical men
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2013 8:18 AM GMT
    Joeyphx444 said
    Stuck said
    green_eyed_stud saidActually if think about it. It's clever.
    You further decrease the likelihood of the condom breaking. If according to his stats there's a .05-20% chance of a condom not working then using two condoms would pretty make sure there's no chance of the condom failing.



    icon_neutral.gif



    Yah and 2 poz guys barebacking has 0 risk icon_rolleyes.gif
    Damn gay people claim to be educated and are activists and into civil right yet they seem to be dumb when it comes to sex, typical men


    I couldn't really tell if he was trolling or not... I didn't know that people were unaware about how to properly use protection.
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    May 12, 2013 8:31 AM GMT
    desert_hero said
    Addy23 saidI don't know what to say over here.. but I am sorry bud. I really appreciate that you are so good at heart.

    There could be few reasons behind this:
    -Oral sex may cause this though you said yo had rarely, but just once is enough to cause.
    -sometimes we don't realize that condom has burst inside in the heat of passion.
    - apart from sex if you ever shared blade/ niddle/ knife which accidently did this.

    please let us know how you are dealing with this.


    Oral sex is highly unlikely unless someone has an open wound which the sperm can reach.

    Condoms are the most likely answer. ven when used correctly, a condom is about 98 per cent effective. This means roughly about 2 in every 100 men are exposed even with a use of a condom.

    I am paranoid so I double bag it when I hook up with someone new



    Actually Stuck is right, this increases your risk. Condoms are not designed to be "doubled up". The friction between the latex would increase the chance of a rip or tear in both condoms.

    To the OP, I'm really sorry. Best you can do is try be aware of your health. Abstain from even protected sex if you have any sores or bleeding. Otherwise always use protection, in closing for oral sex.



  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    May 12, 2013 8:42 AM GMT
    I think you did everything that was reasonable to do. But sometimes condoms do fail, sometimes just teensiest thing is enough for the virus to transfer. And it really does suck to be the miniscule percent, whether it be oral or condom failing. But I admire your attitude that you want to protect yourself and others. Additionally, since you just got it recently, remember that the sooner you start treatment, the better.

    To the guys in the thread telling others to double-bag it: please DON'T. I thought the idea that two condoms were safer was something that disappeared in the 90's.

    You know Trollileo, I work with answering people about sex and safer sex and I've spouted out "the only safe sex is no sex" a lot of times just because it's something I was taught to do. I'm a little embarassed about not having thought about it until you said this right now haha, since I've long advocated that I dislike people calling atheism a belief since the definition is that it's a lack of belief; therefore calling it a belief would be a logical error. Like calling baldness a type of hairdo, or no sex a type of sex. I'm going to phrase myself a bit more carefully in the future.
  • Jakey_jakey

    Posts: 14

    May 12, 2013 9:06 AM GMT
    Thanks guys...

    I have on and off but i am ok i guess.
    But the worst part is that the guy i used to see dumbed me right before i found out
    Ive got nothing left but HIV.

    But in my head im thinking "how many rejects do i have to go through to meet somebody or
    Find a bf or even a hook up"

    Im not gonna lie i feel like killing myself sometimes but i already have it so what can i do.

    All i can do is to pray that they will find cure soon and make sure i dont give it to anybody else.

    Oh one more thing, i had sex with my friend few days before i found out.
    He swallowed my cum and when we did the second time i came on his ass and he asked me to put it in with cum.
    So i did put it in without condom.

    He got tested and he came out negative.


    Im sooo glad that hes safe
  • Twenty_Someth...

    Posts: 1388

    May 12, 2013 10:08 AM GMT
    You are a fucking idiot. Obviously you weren't exclusive with your boyfriend, so it's just as likely that you got it from raw dogging your slutty friends... Seriously, it's sad that the lives of other people are going to be in your hands...
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    May 12, 2013 11:01 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    tru_blu_ozzie saidThe only safe sex is no sex. But there is safer sex.
    This is literally the stupidest thing anyone's ever said. No sex does not equivocate sex.


    Your interpretation, of what one said, and I'm not sure you understood what one meant and thanks for giving one the honor of saying the most stupidest thing, but that belongs to another. So therefore there is no such thing as safe sex, other than no sex.icon_wink.gif

    But you allow yourself to do and say stupid things, or you just wanted to have ago.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 12, 2013 11:18 AM GMT
    Stuck said
    desert_hero said
    Addy23 said

    I am paranoid so I double bag it when I hook up with someone new



    Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's even more unsafe.


    YES! My understanding is that the friction between the two condoms makes a break more likely. Better to use extra strength condoms made with thicker latex.



    http://www.condomdepot.com/product/catalog.cfm/nid/206

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    May 12, 2013 11:39 AM GMT
    Jakey_jakey saidThanks guys...

    I have on and off but i am ok i guess.
    But the worst part is that the guy i used to see dumbed me right before i found out
    Ive got nothing left but HIV.

    But in my head im thinking "how many rejects do i have to go through to meet somebody or
    Find a bf or even a hook up"

    Im not gonna lie i feel like killing myself sometimes but i already have it so what can i do.

    All i can do is to pray that they will find cure soon and make sure i dont give it to anybody else.


    Life ia not fair sometimes....


    Stay strong. HIV is a virus and not a license for judgement. The people who stay in your life or want to be apart of your life will be people of good character worth keeping. These are tough times but it will get better. You may want to talk to someone that can relate to how you feel.
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    May 12, 2013 11:43 AM GMT
    Jakey_jakey saidThanks guys...

    I have on and off but i am ok i guess.
    But the worst part is that the guy i used to see dumbed me right before i found out
    Ive got nothing left but HIV.

    But in my head im thinking "how many rejects do i have to go through to meet somebody or
    Find a bf or even a hook up"

    Im not gonna lie i feel like killing myself sometimes but i already have it so what can i do.

    All i can do is to pray that they will find cure soon and make sure i dont give it to anybody else.

    Oh one more thing, i had sex withvmy friend few daya before i found out.
    He swallowed my cum and when we did the second time i came on his ass and he begged me to put it in with cum.
    So i did put it in without condom.

    He got tested and he came out negative.


    Im sooo glad that hes safe ....but..

    Life ia not fair sometimes....


    he needs to get tested again in 6 months.
    You have a great attitude and there has been so much progress on fighting hiv and even steps in developing a cure. There are other dating sites where you can meet people who already have hiv. You are not alone and we all will fight this challenge with you.
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    May 12, 2013 11:44 AM GMT
    bpguru saidYou are a fucking idiot. Obviously you weren't exclusive with your boyfriend, so it's just as likely that you got it from raw dogging your slutty friends... Seriously, it's sad that the lives of other people are going to be in your hands...


    Whar a judgemental and inappropriate comment! I'm sure your life is perfect with no flaws. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2013 11:49 AM GMT
    desert_hero said
    Jakey_jakey saidThanks guys...

    I have on and off but i am ok i guess.
    But the worst part is that the guy i used to see dumbed me right before i found out
    Ive got nothing left but HIV.

    But in my head im thinking "how many rejects do i have to go through to meet somebody or
    Find a bf or even a hook up"

    Im not gonna lie i feel like killing myself sometimes but i already have it so what can i do.

    All i can do is to pray that they will find cure soon and make sure i dont give it to anybody else.

    Oh one more thing, i had sex withvmy friend few daya before i found out.
    He swallowed my cum and when we did the second time i came on his ass and he begged me to put it in with cum.
    So i did put it in without condom.

    He got tested and he came out negative.


    Im sooo glad that hes safe ....but..

    Life ia not fair sometimes....


    he needs to get tested again in 6 months.
    You have a great attitude and there has been so much progress on fighting hiv and even steps in developing a cure. There are other dating sites where you can meet people who already have hiv. You are not alone and we all will fight this challenge with you.



    Other dating sites? Is it www.castaway.com.?
  • Twenty_Someth...

    Posts: 1388

    May 12, 2013 11:54 AM GMT
    Surry said
    bpguru saidYou are a fucking idiot. Obviously you weren't exclusive with your boyfriend, so it's just as likely that you got it from raw dogging your slutty friends... Seriously, it's sad that the lives of other people are going to be in your hands...


    Whar a judgemental and inappropriate comment! I'm sure your life is perfect with no flaws. icon_sad.gif


    Reread this guys posts... the only HIV he's got is
    Heavy
    Intestinal
    Venting

    because he's spewing his bullshit all over RJ... This post is a ploy for sympathy through and through. If this guy is a real person with HIV, I'd be amazed. Nobody can be that oblivious or helpless...
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    May 12, 2013 11:59 AM GMT
    Jakey_jakey saidSo, I was dating a guy for while and we had sex probably few times a week.
    In February, he then found that he had herpes. We had sex after that only once and he was bleeding pretty bad but we used condoms.
    and He told me he just found out that he was HIV positive on March.
    I went to get tested and my rapid test came negative.
    They called me the next day and told me that the blood work came positive.
    Meaining that I got it very recent.

    We never had unprotected sex and rarely did oral.
    Yes it wasn't a smart choice to fuck someone with herpes but I had condoms on and I was top.

    I really have no idea how I got it from.

    yes it;s already too late but I wanna know so that I won't give it to someone else. icon_neutral.gif


    I'm not sure how you could've gotten infected. In my limited HIV knowledge it seems you were doing all of the right things. Could someone on here explain to me how the OP could hae possibly gotten infected with HIV?
    I know condoms are only 98% safe but could the herpes had something to do with it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2013 12:01 PM GMT
    bpguru said
    Surry said
    bpguru saidYou are a fucking idiot. Obviously you weren't exclusive with your boyfriend, so it's just as likely that you got it from raw dogging your slutty friends... Seriously, it's sad that the lives of other people are going to be in your hands...


    Whar a judgemental and inappropriate comment! I'm sure your life is perfect with no flaws. icon_sad.gif


    Reread this guys posts... the only HIV he's got is
    Heavy
    Intestinal
    Venting

    because he's spewing his bullshit all over RJ... This post is a ploy for sympathy through and through. If this guy is a real person with HIV, I'd be amazed. Nobody can be that oblivious or helpless...


    Wow... a man with no compassion.