Guy showing my pic to his friends for "background check"

  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    May 12, 2013 6:04 PM GMT
    I was talking to this guy on jack'd and sent him a pic. He later told me that he "vets" every pic by his gay friends, in the hopes of weeding out fakes or notorious sluts. He said his list of 30+ potential dates got cut down to 8 in that process. At first I thought it was really weird and insensitive, but it actually could save a lot of time. Does anyone else do this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 12, 2013 6:28 PM GMT
    Unless they do actual background checks, this sounds like nothing but a quick first check based nothing on appearance. And that does nothing for anyone.

    I admit, cutting out the ones with the shady past sounds good, but everyone deserves a chance.
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    May 12, 2013 6:35 PM GMT
    It's a reality of life. We all do background checks. There is a reason why you first look at people's pictures on their profiles, then you read their writings.

    We just all hate to admit it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 12, 2013 6:55 PM GMT
    not sure why you'd expect anything less on an app called jack'd
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 12, 2013 6:55 PM GMT
    Pro: Some guys have deservedly earned a bad local reputation, and your friends may know of it

    Cons: Some good guys are victims of false rumors, and your friends may be spreading them

    Some friends may have their own selfish agendas for panning a guy

    Guys new to the area won't be on anyone's radar yet

    Would it help to "vet" a picture with Google software that checks faces, to find poached ones?
  • FlypinHigh

    Posts: 465

    May 12, 2013 6:58 PM GMT
    I do google image search on every pic someone sends me. About 50% are found in the search. I still assume a large portion of the ones not found in the search are fake as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 12, 2013 10:05 PM GMT
    Yeah I usually ask gay friends if they've seen the guy. Like if the guy is really hot and says he goes to my gym yet I've never seen him then my suspicions or high...
    Also, that way you can find out if the reason he broke up with his ex is something that won't work for you either, for example, a guy you're talking to who happens to be a flight attendant and isn't home much, might not be everyone's type, would save you time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 12, 2013 11:09 PM GMT
    Maybe I'm not the only one who browses Craigslist regularly to maintain a "oh hell no!" list. On the other hand, if you just assume they are playa's from the start, you might be pleasantly surprised when it turns out they're real.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 12, 2013 11:14 PM GMT
    I don't get how showing your picture to his friends would weed out sluts, unless he's saying that his friends are major sluts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 12, 2013 11:16 PM GMT
    Are you applying for a job?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 12, 2013 11:16 PM GMT
    haha it's funny cause it's sad mainly because i think i would fail that test haha. A guy told me once you have a great personality and i looked at him and told him love me for my body god dammit haha jk i didn't tell him but i wanted to.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    May 13, 2013 12:05 AM GMT
    Macaque saidI don't get how showing your picture to his friends would weed out sluts, unless he's saying that his friends are major sluts.


    Well people talk, especially gays haha. You don't have to sleep with someone to know that they're looser than the lincoln tunnel icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 13, 2013 12:29 AM GMT
    How funny! How juvenile!
  • TheBigB79

    Posts: 40

    May 13, 2013 12:43 AM GMT
    I think it's pretty standard operating procedure now because of the volume of apps out there. But I'll even ask my friends if they know a person when I start talking to them, just to get an idea of what they know or have heard. I don't think I've ever rejected someone out of hand because of that though.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 13, 2013 12:44 AM GMT
    CityofDreams saidIt's a reality of life. We all do background checks. There is a reason why you first look at people's pictures on their profiles, then you read their writings.

    We just all hate to admit it.
    dude, that is not the same. background checks is to see if they committed a crime or have a shady past. what he is doing not a background check that is something women would do. reading some profile is not doing a background search. reading a profile is a way to see if you two will have anything in common. the face picture is just a way to say well i already like what i see. now i want to get to know more
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 13, 2013 12:56 AM GMT
    One time an xcousin was supposed to bring her new boyfriend to lunch to meet another cousin and myself but instead of simply bringing the guy she brought a picture of him. I couldn't believe it. And then she watched for my reaction as she handed the pic for my examination, apparently, trying to judge my reaction to the picture before she'd "risk" introducing him in person. What an asshole thing to do.
  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    May 13, 2013 1:35 AM GMT
    That kind of "background check" was quite comm n in the leather / BDSM community perhaps twenty years ago. Basically, before you hooked up with someone, in particular when you were traveling, you made contact with someone who is well-connected to the local scene, usually a member of te local leather club, and asked about that man's reputation. It was pretty much standard protocol back then. When I started to seriously explore the scene, about 20 years ago at age 22, I just saw the tail end of it. It's pretty much unworkable now, as local networking on the community has been supplanted by Internet hook ups.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 13, 2013 1:41 AM GMT
    I would not go out with anyone who has such slutty friends that upon viewing a picture, they can give a background on whether or not the slutty friends have banged the guy in the pic.
    I do miss junior high school now that I think about it.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    May 13, 2013 1:51 AM GMT
    I've done that. But mainly because I don't want any of my buds sloppy seconds.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 13, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    This is why I only hook up with out-of-towners.

    The gay community is such a group of big catty, gossipy queens - even the self proclaimed masculine ones. Gossiping, back biting, and character assassination is a feminine characteristic - so not masculine.
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    May 13, 2013 6:29 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc said
    CityofDreams saidIt's a reality of life. We all do background checks. There is a reason why you first look at people's pictures on their profiles, then you read their writings.

    We just all hate to admit it.
    dude, that is not the same. background checks is to see if they committed a crime or have a shady past. what he is doing not a background check that is something women would do. reading some profile is not doing a background search. reading a profile is a way to see if you two will have anything in common. the face picture is just a way to say well i already like what i see. now i want to get to know more


    Oh shit, that is cray! I have never done that to any potential, all have been goody, goody.
  • FitGwynedd

    Posts: 1468

    May 13, 2013 6:33 PM GMT
    I've never had a problem with fakes and I don't listen to rumours.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    May 14, 2013 2:41 AM GMT
    probably. i usually ask to see if they are top or bottom and how big their dick is though, or any weirdness that would be shocking.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 14, 2013 2:45 AM GMT
    highforthis saidI was talking to this guy on jack'd and sent him a pic. He later told me that he "vets" every pic by his gay friends, in the hopes of weeding out fakes or notorious sluts. He said his list of 30+ potential dates got cut down to 8 in that process. At first I thought it was really weird and insensitive, but it actually could save a lot of time. Does anyone else do this?


    I've done it in the past.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 14, 2013 2:54 AM GMT
    highforthis saidI was talking to this guy on jack'd and sent him a pic. He later told me that he "vets" every pic by his gay friends, in the hopes of weeding out fakes or notorious sluts. He said his list of 30+ potential dates got cut down to 8 in that process. At first I thought it was really weird and insensitive, but it actually could save a lot of time. Does anyone else do this?


    You didn't mention if you made it past vetting...