Tips for a gay bar first-timer


  • May 13, 2013 11:50 PM GMT
    I've seen discussions on this topic in the past, but looking for advice/tips for someone not familiar with the gay-bar scene. I know it differs at each bar, but wondering what I can expect.
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    May 13, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    Expect to see people drinking, talking, laughing, and having a good time.

    Oh, and expect to see guys kissing and touching each other quite frequently...which is about the only difference between a straight bar and a gay bar.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 13, 2013 11:54 PM GMT
    Expect to meet the man of your dreams.
  • psycsnacha

    Posts: 161

    May 14, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    Go with a friend, don't get offended easily, be nice, and have a good time.
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    May 14, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidExpect to see people drinking, talking, laughing, and having a good time.


    ...and ignoring you.

    A gay bar can be the loneliest place in the world. Don't feel bad when that happens. It doesn't mean you are hideous. icon_smile.gif It can take weeks of going before you start to meet people. Take a phone so you have something to keep your hands busy when you feel too awkward.
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    May 14, 2013 12:10 AM GMT
    Oh, and don't expect to see much of the cynical internet crowd there. Those are the ones who have to go for weeks before anyone will talk to them. Most sane people can walk into a gay bar and make friends within minutes. icon_wink.gif
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    May 14, 2013 12:24 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidOh, and don't expect to see much of the cynical internet crowd there. Those are the ones who have to go for weeks before anyone will talk to them. Most sane people can walk into a gay bar and make friends within minutes. icon_wink.gif


    I think you meant to say "very extroverted or exceptionally handsome or both" not just "sane".
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    May 14, 2013 12:29 AM GMT
    Pregame and just got one drink while there.
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    May 14, 2013 12:30 AM GMT
    Expect to feel awkward since it's your first time. And that's normal. Oh, and dudes in gay bars are not wlgoing to bang you if you look them in the eye. So just chillax.
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    May 14, 2013 1:42 AM GMT
    yeah im curious about this aswell... how to take signs properly icon_redface.gif
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    May 14, 2013 1:44 AM GMT
    Keep your ass to the wall.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    May 14, 2013 1:45 AM GMT
    Have low expectations..... but it does feel good to be in a place where it's all acceptance all the time.
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    May 14, 2013 1:46 AM GMT
    wear clean underwear
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    May 14, 2013 1:51 AM GMT
    DON'T wear underwear.
  • HorrorHound

    Posts: 1435

    May 14, 2013 1:53 AM GMT
    Regardless of how hot ya may think someone is......do NOT feel inclined to just touch/feel whomever in passing or standing! icon_lol.gif

    Just be tactful. & remember people have a 'bubble' too. Hehe

  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    May 14, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidDON'T wear underwear.

    You will want that underwear when you are in jail or the hospital. One you should avoid and the other can happen without any action on your part.
    Just go have fun.
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    May 14, 2013 2:19 AM GMT
    hawkeye7 said
    UndercoverMan saidDON'T wear underwear.

    You will want that underwear when you are in jail or the hospital. One you should avoid and the other can happen without any action on your part.
    Just go have fun.


    But there was this one time this guy shoved his hand down my pants in an attempt to initiate the standard gay greeting and the underwear just got in the way. Besides the first thing they do when you get to the hospital is cut your clothes off you. By not wearing underwear you may very well save a good pair of Calvin Kleins.

    Wait. What?! That's not the requisite gay greeting?! Hey! Someone lied to me.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    May 14, 2013 3:31 AM GMT
    If you're going alone, go early before the big crowds arrive so that you can feel comfortable with the place.
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    May 14, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    hawkeye7 saidwear clean underwear

    LOL! That brought back a memory from over 50 years ago, and leads me to a digression here. My Mother always told me to make sure my underwear and socks were clean. And especially my ankles, too, which as an active boy who often played in the woods were frequently dirty. She told me the reason was that if I ever had an accident and was taken to the hospital she would be humiliated if I was dirty! She actually said that many times to me!

    Well, one day I really WAS taken by ambulance to the ER, unconscious after a bad bicycle accident at age 12. And when I woke up that night my Mother was at my hospital bedside. After explaining what had happened to me (because a concussion caused amnesia about the accident that I still have to this day), she then told me how relieved she was that when I was undressed in the ER my undershorts and socks were clean, and so were my ankles for once.

    MOTHER!!! I was still unconscious being worked on and you were relieved about THAT? I still laugh to think how happily she related it to me, as if it would assist my recovery and ease my pain.

    Many years later, though, her advice served me well, not when being taken to an ER once more, but during impromptu trips to guys' bedrooms. And as I stripped to get into bed with them I'd have to banish flashbacks of her words from my mind, because who wants thoughts of his mother at a time like that? LOL!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 14, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    Always wear your trousers so they are hanging way below your ass so every one can plainly see your crack .... It's kinda like when women show all their clevege right to the nipples
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    May 14, 2013 3:48 AM GMT
    seekonk said
    paulflexes saidOh, and don't expect to see much of the cynical internet crowd there. Those are the ones who have to go for weeks before anyone will talk to them. Most sane people can walk into a gay bar and make friends within minutes. icon_wink.gif


    I think you meant to say "very extroverted or exceptionally handsome or both" not just "sane".


    No.

    Paul meant EXACTLY what He said.

    Quite frankly, you are bit ..."mature" to have to rely on an i-device when going out.

    One of the MANY benefits of getting older is the ability to command a room with Your presence.

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    OP - just go out.

    Keep an open mind and try to relax.

    DO NOT bury Yerself in a text conversation.

    You will just look stupid - and everyone will know You are just nervous.

    NO ONE sitting at a bar furiously texting looks cool.

    They look naive and awkward.

    Order a drink, turn around and let the room come to YOU.

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    May 14, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidAlways wear your trousers so they are hanging way below your ass so every one can plainly see your crack .... It's kinda like when women show all their clevege right to the nipples


    HEY - You told Me that it was a classy sign of aristocracy!!!!!

    NO WONDER the cops called Me a Floozie!!!!!

    icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif
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    May 14, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    i don't think the OP has anything to worry about. He's plenty good-looking. Just follow the advice these folks are giving you. I'm not much of a bar-goer so I'm not qualified to advise on that matter, but I am qualified to tell the OP he's hot icon_cool.gif


    EDIT: I find the easiest bars to hang out in if you're not a "gay bar" type of guy or just new to the scene are the "neighborhood bar" type places that just happen to cater predominately to gay men as opposed to the overt "Gay Bars"
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    May 14, 2013 4:18 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    hawkeye7 saidwear clean underwear

    LOL! That brought back a memory from over 50 years ago, and leads me to a digression here. My Mother always told me to make sure my underwear and socks were clean.


    I've always been a little confused by this advice. Are most of you walking around in dirty underwear, except on special occasions?
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    May 14, 2013 6:20 AM GMT
    i hate those places, i just prefer a normal place icon_smile.gificon_smile.gificon_smile.gif