I know I am going to get crap for saying this butt... Sometimes I really hate being gay and wish I were straight?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2013 8:18 PM GMT
    The gay community is a joke. The whole "oh just come out you'll feel so much better" yeah not the case.

    I have got no support from the gay community. All I have gotten is saasy attitude from a bunch of bitchy queens that like to do nothing but put other people down for every little thing and judge me for my looks likes interests. I don't fit the Football player/Model look they all desire.

    And the dating scene?? forget it. I've realized this is a joke in the gay world. All gay guys have done is dick me around and say they're interested, then suddenly fall off the face of the earth only to find out theres another guy involved. (this has been the case with 12< guys with a 1.5 year time span). Or they just dont want relationships period.

    So needless to say the whole coming out process has sucked and if I could choose I'd be straight in a heartbeat
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    May 16, 2013 8:36 PM GMT
    I wouldn't necessarily lump all gays into the same group as the ones you've encountered. but in all reality, straight guys go through the same shit with girls -- the bitchiness, the sassiness, the psychos, the high maintenance, being used, one night stands, stealers, cheaters, liars, etc. it's not just "the gays"
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    May 16, 2013 8:39 PM GMT
    bro, i can relate to where you're coming from and you're right. there is no such thing as a "gay community". the only time that gay people come together nowadays is when it involves fighitng for their rights and even then they're still bickering among themselves. that's one reason why i was upset about the whole coming out process. coming out means facing rejection from both straight and gay people. many straight people won't like you simply because you're gay and many gay people will basically look down on you as well for the stupidest reasons. if one of them like you, chances are they're trying to get into your pants.

    i think that a lot of anger and fighting in the gay community comes from the frustration from the rejection of society on a whole. we basically are looking for a means to fit in society even though we don't fit in so we look at ourselves and see what we share with our straight counterparts to gain acceptance. it's pitiful how many gay men are always looking for something to boost themselves up while at the same time, putting others down. you'll have dudes basically saying how "masculine" they are where they could pass as straight men dissing effeminate gay men. you'll have dudes that are way too proud of their appearance where they feel that they could be models and are like "look @ how cute i am. i'm cute. you have to like me because i'm attractive. i'm better than this overweight guy or this guy right here because i think he's ugly and i'm cute." it's damn pitiful.

    i've found it a whole lot easier to make straight friends than how it is to make gay friends. straight folks will just look @ you for who are and deal with you accordingly. gay folks on the other hand don't value friendship like that. it's rare that you'll see a group of gay guys that are friends. you'll have dudes making simple shit like more complicated than it should be but somehow, they have no problem jumping into bed with any dude that crosses their path. it makes no sense. you mean to tell me that you can't interact with another male with a simple conversation about nothing but yet they'll throw dick @ you without even knowing your name. it's as if folks act as if they are NOT human and think that other gay men are just like them. not human. the lack of respect that many gay men have towards themselves and other gay men is sad and embarrassing. just because you don't respect yourself means that all gay men are the same. i pretty much would like to know folks for who they are as people without the bullshit in the mix. we're all gay and we all are looked down by society. you're not better than me and i'm not better than you.

    i'm used to dealing with guys as friends or on a social level. not as lovers so the simple fact that folks simply don't know how to talk as a friendly level and act like that shit is more complicated than who they chose to have sex with is beyond me. that's why i get annoyed whenever i see dudes basically showcasing the pettiest things such as how good they look, how masculine they are, and blah blah blah but yet their personalities fucking suck. they simply just treat you like you're not important at all like they refuse to talk to you or at as if they're better than you where they can't speak to you like a decent human being. i'm convinced that when it comes down to gay men interacting with each other, they don't know how to do it. even on this board, you see folks basically isolating themselves away from interacting with other members on some "arrogance" shit. it doesn't suck to have a damn personality. i don't get down with that bullshit which is why i laugh at the stupid ass lingo that's going on. i'm not used to this diva shit. my homies and me talk about life, hang out, and simply chill. why can't gay men simply do the same shit without going like "i can't be your friend because i can't date you." damn, i'm not a horny bastard.
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    May 16, 2013 8:43 PM GMT
    Yeah, sorry dude you're going to find that anywhere you go from people: gay or straight. I've met a lot of awesome gay friends (from people my age to 60's) that have been nothing but awesome, and I live in the Bible Belt! Don't stereotype a whole group of people by a few bad apples.

    I've never been more proud to be gay, and extremely excited for the future!
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    May 16, 2013 8:54 PM GMT
    A gay community is pointless it has no use, people coming together based solely on their sexual preference is not gonna work because sexuality is not important. The only reason the community should exist is for equality and when that fight is over it should disappear. Fuck the gay community.
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    May 16, 2013 9:01 PM GMT
    Sometimes I hate being a guy with a penis. Top that off with being gay and then there's that who blk thing..... Suck it up! Your life will be what you make of it.icon_rolleyes.gificon_eek.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 16, 2013 9:03 PM GMT
    life is not easy ... only the cream rises to the top the sludge settles to the bottom
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    May 16, 2013 9:08 PM GMT
    Unfortunately from my personal experience, that seems to be the case. I've decided to stray away from the gay scene in my town. It's way too superficial for my taste, lots of betrayals, and hidden agendas. I can honestly, and proudly say that my name is not in anyone's little black book because I opted out of the gay scene.

    I did the whole dating app thing. and out of 8 guys that I went on a date with, one was, I felt, honestly wanted a relationship. I personally think that those apps are not the best method to find a relationship, but with the utilities that we are given, I guess, it's better then nothing. You will find more weeds, and occasionally a flower, if you are lucky. I never really had a green thumb, but keep in mind, be prepared to keep weeding out the wrong ones constantly.

    As mentioned, the gay life is superficial. You can't help that. Men are; visual. Either gay or straight it's something that's just in us. Straight men have problems too, it's not as easy as it looks, so I've heard from my straight friends. Girls that messed with boys hearts, Guys that messed with girls hearts. It's all pretty much the same. I only think that the gay life is a bit more complicated because of well, the small dating pool we already have and that concept of sexual compatibility. For men and women that role has already been established, while for gay men, it's not, unless you are a vers. icon_smile.gif

    But good luck! and don't lose hope, he is out there waiting, or is looking. So keep an open mind.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 16, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    You have to stop blaming other people for not living up to your expectations. Once you lose the negativity, people will respect you and appreciate you in their lives. Moreover, you will become lovable, meet a man who adores you and live happily ever after. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2013 9:15 PM GMT
    Hmmm...perhaps it's a case of the grass is always greener on the other side..

    Take a peek:

    https://www.google.ca/search?q=sometimes+I+wish+I+was+gay&aq=f&oq=sometimes+I+wish+I+was+gay&aqs=chrome.0.57.5848j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
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    May 16, 2013 9:18 PM GMT
    meninlove said Hmmm...perhaps it's a case of the grass is always greener on the other side..

    Take a peek:

    https://www.google.ca/search?q=sometimes+I+wish+I+was+gay&aq=f&oq=sometimes+I+wish+I+was+gay&aqs=chrome.0.57.5848j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8



    I always think of this meme, when people say that line, lol. And honestly there is some truth to it.

    MjAxMS1iN2M2MzhiM2ZhNTEwZWM0.png



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2013 9:20 PM GMT
    CollegeDude27 saidI have got no support from the gay community. All I have gotten is saasy attitude from a bunch of bitchy queens that like to do nothing but put other people down for every little thing and judge me for my looks likes interests. I don't fit the Football player/Model look they all desire.


    Yeah, you're going to get shit. icon_biggrin.gif

    Don't confuse the bar crowd with "the gay community." If you want to meet a broader spectrum of gay guys, you could start by joining gay interest clubs, sports teams, community centers, etc.

    It's no surprise that guys are driven by sex and attractiveness, that's not unique to gay guys. You're a good looking guy but at 5'6" and 175 lbs., please forgive my saying so because I've only seen your profile pic, but you if you want to be one of those guys who immediately attracts other guys, you might lose some weight/work on your body a bit. It has the side benefit of making you feel like you've accomplished something.

    And remember, no one owes you anything. You get from the universe what you put out into the universe, so make sure you're giving before you whine too much about what you're not getting.

    Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2013 9:29 PM GMT
    showme said
    CollegeDude27 saidI have got no support from the gay community. All I have gotten is saasy attitude from a bunch of bitchy queens that like to do nothing but put other people down for every little thing and judge me for my looks likes interests. I don't fit the Football player/Model look they all desire.


    Yeah, you're going to get shit. icon_biggrin.gif

    Don't confuse the bar crowd with "the gay community." If you want to meet a broader spectrum of gay guys, you could start by joining gay interest clubs, sports teams, community centers, etc.

    It's no surprise that guys are driven by sex and attractiveness, that's not unique to gay guys. You're a good looking guy but at 5'6" and 175 lbs., please forgive my saying so because I've only seen your profile pic, but you if you want to be one of those guys who immediately attracts other guys, you might lose some weight/work on your body a bit. It has the side benefit of making you feel like you've accomplished something.

    And remember, no one owes you anything. You get from the universe what you put out into the universe, so make sure you're giving before you whine too much about what you're not getting.

    Good luck.


    you do realize that you're only confirming his feelings with what you wrote.

    and i don't see where he's wrong with what he said. to be honest with you, i think that when the lgbt "community" gets accepted into the larger society where we intergrate with our straight peers and etc. you guys will be in for a rude awakening when you see that the world is NOT preoccupied with the same bullshit that we are. in the regular world, most people aren't so worried about their appearance or priding it like it's their everything. maybe teenagers and young adults but for the most part, people don't give a fuck about that. i think that some of you need to understand that what's mostly acceptable in the gay community is really NOT the way of the world outside of it. most people will think that you're a jackass if you're showing yourself off and etc. people will back away from you and think you're a loser.

    in the regular world, someone like davey wavey would get laughed at for always not wearing a shirt. people are not so concerned with how you look.
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    May 16, 2013 9:30 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidYou have to stop blaming other people for not living up to your expectations. Once you lose the negativity, people will respect you and appreciate you in their lives. Moreover, you will become lovable, meet a man who adores you and live happily ever after. icon_razz.gif


    Truth!

    Don't focus on negative things in life, focus on the positive. there's a lot of good men (and women!) out there. The older you get, I find that gay men (and women!) find what they're really looking for (pretty sure this happens in the "straight world" too).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    showme said
    CollegeDude27 saidI have got no support from the gay community. All I have gotten is saasy attitude from a bunch of bitchy queens that like to do nothing but put other people down for every little thing and judge me for my looks likes interests. I don't fit the Football player/Model look they all desire.


    Yeah, you're going to get shit. icon_biggrin.gif

    Don't confuse the bar crowd with "the gay community." If you want to meet a broader spectrum of gay guys, you could start by joining gay interest clubs, sports teams, community centers, etc.

    It's no surprise that guys are driven by sex and attractiveness, that's not unique to gay guys. You're a good looking guy but at 5'6" and 175 lbs., please forgive my saying so because I've only seen your profile pic, but you if you want to be one of those guys who immediately attracts other guys, you might lose some weight/work on your body a bit. It has the side benefit of making you feel like you've accomplished something.

    And remember, no one owes you anything. You get from the universe what you put out into the universe, so make sure you're giving before you whine too much about what you're not getting.

    Good luck.


    you do realize that you're only confirming his feelings with what you wrote.

    and i don't see where he's wrong with what he said. to be honest with you, i think that when the lgbt "community" gets accepted into the larger society where we intergrate with our straight peers and etc. you guys will be in for a rude awakening when you see that the world is NOT preoccupied with the same bullshit that we are. in the regular world, most people aren't so worried about their appearance or priding it like it's their everything. maybe teenagers and young adults but for the most part, people don't give a fuck about that. i think that some of you need to understand that what's mostly acceptable in the gay community is really NOT the way of the world outside of it. most people will think that you're a jackass if you're showing yourself off and etc. people will back away from you and think you're a loser.

    in the regular world, someone like davey wavey would get laughed at for always not wearing a shirt. people are not so concerned with how you look.


    Yes, Davey Wavey would get laughed at. But it's not true that people aren't so concerned with how you look. Guys are - straight guys looking for straight girls are fixated on hotness. In the business world being better looking is a definite advantage, too.

    If OP is happy with how he looks, great, but I got a tinge of "I'm unhappy with the fact that I don't immediately attract other guys." Some of that is within his control if he wants to change it.

    Peace.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    showme said
    pazzy said
    showme said
    CollegeDude27 saidI have got no support from the gay community. All I have gotten is saasy attitude from a bunch of bitchy queens that like to do nothing but put other people down for every little thing and judge me for my looks likes interests. I don't fit the Football player/Model look they all desire.


    Yeah, you're going to get shit. icon_biggrin.gif

    Don't confuse the bar crowd with "the gay community." If you want to meet a broader spectrum of gay guys, you could start by joining gay interest clubs, sports teams, community centers, etc.

    It's no surprise that guys are driven by sex and attractiveness, that's not unique to gay guys. You're a good looking guy but at 5'6" and 175 lbs., please forgive my saying so because I've only seen your profile pic, but you if you want to be one of those guys who immediately attracts other guys, you might lose some weight/work on your body a bit. It has the side benefit of making you feel like you've accomplished something.

    And remember, no one owes you anything. You get from the universe what you put out into the universe, so make sure you're giving before you whine too much about what you're not getting.

    Good luck.


    you do realize that you're only confirming his feelings with what you wrote.

    and i don't see where he's wrong with what he said. to be honest with you, i think that when the lgbt "community" gets accepted into the larger society where we intergrate with our straight peers and etc. you guys will be in for a rude awakening when you see that the world is NOT preoccupied with the same bullshit that we are. in the regular world, most people aren't so worried about their appearance or priding it like it's their everything. maybe teenagers and young adults but for the most part, people don't give a fuck about that. i think that some of you need to understand that what's mostly acceptable in the gay community is really NOT the way of the world outside of it. most people will think that you're a jackass if you're showing yourself off and etc. people will back away from you and think you're a loser.

    in the regular world, someone like davey wavey would get laughed at for always not wearing a shirt. people are not so concerned with how you look.


    Yes, Davey Wavey would get laughed at. But it's not true that people aren't so concerned with how you look. Guys are - straight guys looking for straight girls are fixated on hotness. In the business world being better looking is a definite advantage, too.

    If OP is happy with how he looks, great, but I got a tinge of "I'm unhappy with the fact that I don't immediately attract other guys." Some of that is within his control if he wants to change it.

    Peace.


    but see, straight guys are nowhere near as picky as gay guys are believe it or not. when it comes down to it, a straight woman whether she's attractive, ugly, fit or obese is more likely to get laid and/or have a boyfriend compared to a gay man so that's a bad comparison. try finding a straight female that is a virgin at 30 years old by choice. straight guys on the other hand have it easier than us as all they have to do is have confidence when approaching women. all they need to do is build the impression that they are someone to give a fuck about and they'll get a woman on their arm. it's also a numbers game too. i know this because i was trying to get a girlfriend at some point, could have had one but i had issues with my sexuality as in i was a closet case.

    either way, straight people have their issues but they're NOWHERE near as chaotic as it is compared to gay people where it's a huge adjustment change. icon_sad.gif gay people on the other hand make simple things complicated such as friendships. i've made gay friends but they make themselves distant to the point where you and them don't talk like that. however, if they're interested in dating you in some sort of way, they'll talk to you despite you and them JUST being friends. strange shit. you think they're just your friend but they want something more than that. icon_sad.gif gay men will simply not interact with you if they don't think you're attractive enough to socialize with for some odd reason. even if it's in regards to being a friend, they won't talk.

    i have tried to make gay friends with guys in my age group and i have a couple. the other ones who i thought were my friends turned out to not be interested because they just distance themselves away from me as soon as they found out that i wasn't entirely interested in dating them or didn't want to go in that direction. it's like WTF. the gay friends i do have are mostly older guys. icon_lol.gif them and me just have simple conversations about life and etc. they understand that them and me are just friends where we can talk about everything and they're loyal. it just makes me wonder why that is though. the younger guys can't even interact with me on just a friendly level for the most part.

    i can't simply just go up and date any guy or fuck them. i have to know them first and being that i'm entirely new to this whole experience. if i do decide to have sex when i'm ready to, i would like to have a friend with benefits and even that isn't going to happen right away as in i want to know him first. hang around him, go to the mall, shopping, go to dave and busters, the club and etc. i'm not about to just give it up like that.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 16, 2013 10:14 PM GMT
    Poor Davey Wavy.icon_cry.gif
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    May 16, 2013 10:18 PM GMT
    pazzy said

    but see, straight guys are nowhere near as picky as gay guys are believe it or not....either way, straight people have their issues but they're NOWHERE near as chaotic as it is compared to gay people where it's a huge adjustment change....gay people on the other hand make simple things complicated such as friendships..... gay men will simply not interact with you if they don't think you're attractive enough to socialize with for some odd reason. even if it's in regards to being a friend, they won't talk.


    Not my experience.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    May 16, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    The grass is definitely greener...

    Just be glad you don't have to jump through hoops and do a bunch of ridiculous peacocking to pique a girl's romantic interest with the mere "possibility" of sex. icon_razz.gif

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    May 16, 2013 11:09 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidPoor Davey Wavy.icon_cry.gif


    davey wavey tries too hard.
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    May 16, 2013 11:21 PM GMT
    I know it's probably a minority opinion on this forum but have you thought maybe your life shouldn't focus around guys and being gay? Maybe you should focus more on yourself, and growing as an individual. Your life shouldn't be about someone else.

    If there is anything wrong with the gay community, it's the focus on sexuality rather than individuality. But what are you doing if not playing into that by 'wishing you were straight', 'cus you can't land a decent date?
  • EJ994

    Posts: 87

    May 17, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    IMO the gay community isn't perfect, or even a real community, and we shouldn't be expected to be. The only thing binding us is our sexuality, and really that by no means measures compatibility. We have our good, judgmental, freaks, sex addicts, and so on just like straight men.

    I think you can find gay men worth sustaining friendships with, and entering LTRs with as well. It all just depends on the circle of people you put yourself in, your own attitude towards it, and of course weeding out the assholes and guys just looking to smash and dash.

    Don't give up! icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 17, 2013 2:23 AM GMT
    lol
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    May 17, 2013 2:44 AM GMT
    well we KNOW low body fat and high muscles works...and always will in any community so that is at least the obvious option.


    earn a lot of money and be generous with it, is the second option that always works but more difficult than being a gym bunny.


    the third option is being a bad boy, with bad boy confidence, and ASKING. Dont just ask the obvious hot boys...go for the wall flowers. They are the boyfriend material. With your badboy persona they will have no choice to find you irresistable (if you ask enough).

    If that doesnt work, go old, ugly, and fat, they tend to be awesome guys needing a break.

    As a last ditch attempt...find a closet case and drag him out in secret...he wont have the skills or experience to be a queen yet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    Pazzy man you sure can write a lot, but you tell'em!

    Honestly with those whole judgmental thing all these people on the Earth got going on a large fraction...Is ratchet and I just want to shorten my rant, anyway, I can talk and have friendships like anybody else and not be all promiscuous and bunny hop from guy to guy. So can a lot of other guys on here. When ever you come out of the closet come out to like-minded people. If you would like someone to talk to I'm more than willing to talk.

    OP I love your eyes by the way...This is U!----->