Do you ever find yourself always being the one to chase and/or ask someone out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2013 10:25 PM GMT
    These past several hours I've relapsed back into a state of self-assesment and just wondering if and where I'm missing something or just not doing things properly or if maybe it's something out of my control.

    I'm finding it's always me that has to suggest getting together and meeting up with people. These people will sometimes make the first move, but they can't get around to inviting me to do things. I always have to hear they are doing this, that and the third with their buddies...but it's generally me that has to suggest doing something together. I'm getting tired of being the one to ask all the time, especially when I get half-ass responses or no responses. I have a handful of numbers I've recently acquired, all of whom either asked me or mutually agreed to do it. But guess what, it's the weekend and I have no plans with anyone...I just have to make my own. What gives?

    I've paid attention to how guys I know, and how their friends ask them out. They'll go to the exact same place with the same friends they were out with yesterday, but act like they can't do the same with me
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    May 18, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    I'm confused if this is about friends or dates, I am assuming friends ?

    I actually find myself in the opposite position where people keep on asking me to do things but cos of exams and other plans etc. I find myself unable to.
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    May 18, 2013 11:03 PM GMT
    A handsome guy keep like you who is so likeable in his posts? I don't get it at all.
    I too have to do the asking 99% of the time. I ask myself the same questions. People are always willing to do *anything* with me but I have to ask...
    Except with teenagers. They're always asking me to do things with them. I think maybe they want a father figure.
    I don't get it at all.
    I would be so happy to hang out with you Fuzzy (and you too Tombo) if we weren't in different states.
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    May 19, 2013 12:40 AM GMT
    First thought to your post was they may not be your friend at all, which to me means go make real friends with those who want to spend time with you and who show it. Second thought was how genuine are you being with others? Are you giving unconscious signs of not really wanting to hang with them? Hope that helps.
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    May 19, 2013 1:01 AM GMT
    Your post title confuse me Lol. I thought you want to know if gay guys want to be chase after or do the chasing as in dating.

    As far as friends, I notice (from my experiences) that when someone make a suggestion, it is just that, a suggestion/idea. There is nothing in place yet, I mean, what do you expect? You throw out an idea and people are going to agreed with you all the times? I personally think it depends on the idea/activities. I mean, I hate water slides and things with height so I always say no going to the waterpark. As far as getting together, it would depend on how close the friendship is, I mean. This one girl keep inviting me to her *engagement party on FB like 2 days before. Even though I'm close with her, I already have a date and live kinda far away. The other thing I like to point out is that, people generally have busy lives and don't like to be told what to do with their weekend/plan. I think, well for me anyway, most gay guys prefer to do intimate thing with their boyfriends rather than getting together with a bunch of friends, do something and sometimes complain about being all single. And yeah, I think being genuine/caring play a big part of it too. Do you come off as condescending or not caring enough? maybe that's why these guys don't want to hang out with you or just ignored your suggestions.

    Just my 2 cents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 1:03 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidA handsome guy keep like you who is so likeable in his posts? I don't get it at all.


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