Being the chubby one in the group

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2013 4:38 PM GMT
    For the longest time, I've had body issues and tried to focus on the things that matter. In the past, I would religiously go to the gym, run, and eat strictly. The problem is my friends have great bodies but don't have to work out as much or diet. We all hang out, play different sports together, go to the gym, and go out and eat. In order to maintain my body size, I would have to eat less and work out more than my current physical activity. Basically I would have to skip out on group outtings and dinners to look as good as them. I'm lucky that they don't care about my body, but I hate taking group pictures or going to the pool and being the obvious one that doesn't belong. Anyone else experience the same?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2013 5:56 PM GMT
    Yep, I used to be the funny fat one.

    Now it seems I'm neither fat nor funny!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 18, 2013 5:57 PM GMT
    eagermuscle saidYep, I used to be the funny fat one.

    Now it seems I'm neither fat nor funny!


    Yeah, but you're in shape, so who cares?
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    May 18, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    It's unclear if the OP is being ostracized by his friends or if he's doing it to himself.

    Assuming his profile pic is real, he doesn't look chubby to me.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 18, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    xrichx saidIt's unclear if the OP is being ostracized by his friends or if he's doing it to himself.

    Assuming his profile pic is real, he doesn't look chubby to me.


    this
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2013 7:38 PM GMT
    No, my friends have been very supportive. They recognize how hard I have to work to maintain my current body size/shape.
  • Import

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    May 18, 2013 7:41 PM GMT
    xrichx saidIt's unclear if the OP is being ostracized by his friends or if he's doing it to himself.

    Assuming his profile pic is real, he doesn't look chubby to me.


    yeah, exactly, I'm like "wtf, he doesn't seem chubby at all" icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2013 7:42 PM GMT
    We demand shirtless pics from the OP. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2013 11:32 PM GMT
    xrichx saidWe demand shirtless pics from the OP. icon_biggrin.gif


    Honestly not trolling, but xrichx is on the right track. One way to start overcoming your body image issues is to just confront it.

    I REALLY know where you are coming from.

    Take some shirtless pics and post them here. Make them private if you need to and gradually release them to some people. I am betting the reaction you get will surprise you and help you build some confidence. Granted, this isn't real life, but sometimes, this electronic world can be a tool to help you build confidence in your real life.

    Best of luck.

    (Also, I think you are a very attractive, handsome guy!)
  • Varanus

    Posts: 58

    May 18, 2013 11:41 PM GMT
    Just become comfortable within your skin how you are at this point in time.
    Its often a hard thing with self image of our bodies and comparing them to our lovers, trade, friends and the general public can often be a confronting thing if one isn't comfortable within his own skin.
    The right clothing can often be very misleading within body image making one look a lot better than he really does so look for clothes that make your body "pop" icon_smile.gif
    In regards to taking your clothes of at the pool, beach etc thats just something your going to have to get over and man up and just accept you for you after all each man isnt the same.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 19, 2013 12:11 AM GMT
    Some of your friends may have naturally better bodies, but if you are taking care of your body as you say, soon enough you'll be the guy with the best body in the group because they haven't realized they're metabolisms are slowing down and they are falling out of shape.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 12:14 AM GMT
    Try being the only fit one in a group of 23 year old gay guys. Can you say back stabbing/haters much? icon_rolleyes.gif:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 12:23 AM GMT
    I get you...don't get that you're 30 and have this problem, but I understand, as here is the deal: We all have body issues.
    Even your hot buds have something they hate about themselves, as I'm sure you know or have heard and you laugh at them thinking it's ridiculous.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 12:36 AM GMT
    Aristoshark saidYou are not remotely chubby. Please don't slide into gay dysmorphia. It makes the baby Jesus cry when gay men do that.


    thought it was Rihanna that cried when gay men do that--good to know, hate seeing her cry; breaks my heart.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 2:21 AM GMT
    you're definitely not chubby at all! Don't worry about it, everybody has a different build, just appreciate yourself!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 2:37 AM GMT
    I'm usually the skinny one in a group and I don't care. Don't sweat the little things.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 19, 2013 2:39 AM GMT
    Wondertwink86 saidI'm usually the skinny one in a group and I don't care. Don't sweat the little things.


    Eat a cheeseburger!icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 2:47 AM GMT
    I know what you mean. My metabolism is shit. I was skinny as a kid, but I ballooned up as an adult. It may have been partly due to a thyroid problem. I have to diet year round and exercise just to maintain my body weight. Losing fat or gaining muscle takes even more effort.

    You'll drive yourself crazy if you keep comparing yourself to everyone else. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Genetics and the way your body works play the biggest role in how you look. Find out what works for you and what doesn't and adapt. You don't look chubby at all in your photo, but I don't know what body type you want. It's a fact of life that some people have it easier than others, but that doesn't mean you can't achieve your goals if they're realistic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 2:53 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Wondertwink86 saidI'm usually the skinny one in a group and I don't care. Don't sweat the little things.


    Eat a cheeseburger!icon_mad.gif


    Cheeseburgers do nothing to me. I have a metabolism running on cheetah speed.
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    May 19, 2013 2:59 AM GMT
    bigDrunner said In order to maintain my body size, I would have to eat less and work out more than my current physical activity.


    Sounds like you just need to reevaluate your diet. Eating less is not a way to lose the right kind of weight.

    Also, you don't look chubby.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2013 3:05 AM GMT
    OP you are hot and really good looking! Please, don't be so hard on yourself.