what would you do realistically if you had hard evidence that your partner cheated on you?

  • breaktheice

    Posts: 37

    May 20, 2013 12:56 AM GMT
    I have never really had friends who have been cheated on by their partners so I am curious to know how people react to this. What kind of response would you do based on personal experiences or a realistic pov?

    what would you do realistically if you had hard evidence that your partner cheated on you and you either
    a. know the person he's cheating on you with
    b. don't know the person he's cheating on you with, but know for a fact they are cheating on you

    say what you would do not what you would like to do. Psychology teaches us that people tend to say what they want or would do, rather than what they would do.

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    May 20, 2013 7:28 AM GMT
    I really hate to say this, but I'd probably stay with the guy. I tend to forgive people too easily and often get walked-on because of this.

    I'm not saying its ok to cheat on someone, but if my future boyfriend cheated on me I'd go back to him. I wish I could say "I'd leave him on the spot" or "I'd hunt down the other guy", it I know I won't.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 20, 2013 7:32 AM GMT
    I'd turn into a psychotic lunatic and get even by fucking every man who happens to be the neighborhood.icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 11:46 AM GMT
    Found out one morning while former bf was away on business, called him to confirm and he did spent the day going back and forth between local thrift stores and told my ex not to bother coming back to my house, there was nothing left of his stuff. Never saw him again, not a word.
    My lawyer warned me that I could be sued, I was OK with that.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 20, 2013 1:37 PM GMT
    join?
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    May 20, 2013 1:41 PM GMT
    turn emotionally unstable, then make him feel uber guilty, twist the knife, belittle him, bring up all his insecurities until he's a wreck, then dump him.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    May 20, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    Depends if we were at the point that we had decided to go through quarantine and bareback or not. If yes then we would talk, see what happened define the risk, then if living together give notice and make other living arrangements for him.

    If we were still safe we would have a long chat and see where we are at. Probably break up though if he tried to keep it a secret.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 2:13 PM GMT
    dump his ass
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 2:15 PM GMT
    Have a lot of long talks. Decide if I'm better off with him or without him. Act accordingly.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    May 20, 2013 2:45 PM GMT
    Real simple been cheated on before and when I had the proof I beat the shot out of him and the other guy with a smile in my face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 3:03 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI'd turn into a psychotic lunatic and get even by fucking every man who happens to be the neighborhood.icon_mad.gif

    I need to move to your neighborhood….just in case icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 7:15 PM GMT
    I definitely wouldn't use my knowledge of chemistry to dissolve him and whatever little bitch was screwing my man. I have friends who have taken back guys who have cheated on them, but in my experience once a cheater, always a cheater. Deal breaker.
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    May 20, 2013 7:16 PM GMT
    ...but seriously, that bitch would be liquefied.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 7:21 PM GMT
    End it. Wouldn't matter how close we were, the trust is gone and the relationship would not be able to continue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 7:21 PM GMT
    Depends if he admits, and also what you agreed on in your relationship - open, with permission, or exclusive.

    So I'm guessing you guys are exclusive. If he admits to it, I would probably forgive him and communicate what each person wants out of this relationship. Because it's likely he'll do it again. If you are ok with being open, or with permission, then problem solved. If you are not, then wait for awhile to see if he changes, then decide if you need to break up with him.

    Honesty is something I would make very clear about anyone I meet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 8:53 PM GMT
    Honestly most likely I would break up with them. To me if my partner was unhappy in our relationship then he should break up with me, but cheating on me is dishonest and quite frankly cowardly. I might approach my partner and confront them about it. However, I can't imagine them saying anything that would make me change my mind.

    If they were cheating with a friend of mine then I would not longer be friends with them. It's quite a betrayal for a friend to knowingly sleep with your partner. It crosses a huge line. Even me and my ex had threeways with my friends and I've always regretted it because it's kind've damaged our relationship.
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    May 20, 2013 9:21 PM GMT
    If he cheated on you, he's betrayed your trust and exposed you to risk for harm through the STIs his flings may have had. In other words, he doesn't love you anymore. Seeing as how that's the proposed situation, I'm surprised so many guys would try to force the relationship to work even after gaining knowledge of this information. icon_confused.gif
  • breaktheice

    Posts: 37

    May 20, 2013 9:43 PM GMT
    TomatoTomato said...but seriously, that bitch would be liquefied.


    but what if that "little bitch" had no idea that your bf was yours?
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 20, 2013 10:17 PM GMT
    I'd play the "perfect boyfriend" for a while and make him fall deeply to the point where I could see nothing but regret in his eyes. Then, one day, when he woke up, he would find a "goodbye note" saying I was going to commit suicide because I found out he was cheating on me. By that time, I'd be in Mexico living as a goat.

    Nailed it icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 10:23 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI'd turn into a psychotic lunatic and get even by fucking every man who happens to be the neighborhood.icon_mad.gif


    So, nothing would really change for You then, right? Just an average Wednesday night...

    icon_confused.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    May 20, 2013 10:25 PM GMT
    Well it happened once and I let it go. Didn't even make a big deal about it but let him know I wasn't very happy but I understood how it happened. If it happened again, I'd probably have to rethink the relationship. Or at least redefine it in my own mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 10:28 PM GMT
    There are like 6,000 variables that go into addressing this.

    How long have You been together? Was it a one-time thing?? Have You ever REALLY discussed the long-term???

    The list goes on and on.

    There is no quick-n-easy blanket answer to cover such a highly varied, layered, multi-faceted situation.

    In the end, all You can ever do is talk it out.

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
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    May 20, 2013 10:32 PM GMT
    Cry. Then suck it up. Then tell him off and dump him. Then go hookup with someone to help me forget about him. Then sit in a room alone and depressed wishing he never done it.
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    May 20, 2013 10:34 PM GMT
    For me, realistically, I'd ask for pictures or video. For my archives.
  • flahotstuff

    Posts: 154

    May 20, 2013 10:37 PM GMT
    Slowly poison him!icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif