Being "fake" Facebook and LinkedIn friended?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 10:55 AM GMT
    Recently on another thread I read about how when you have Facebook and other windows open, Facebook reads your preferences and generates banner ads from them.

    I'm not the type of person who initiates contact (note my empty hotlist!) and all my Facebook friends and LinkedIn contacts came about as requests trickling in from others. This last month something strange has been happening and I'm wondering if I'm being robo-spammed.

    On Facebook because I almost simultaneously got three incredibly disparate friend requests I feel awkward about accepting them:

    1) a first cousin I haven't seen, spoken to or emailed in over a decade

    2) my niece's husband, who she lived with for two years and married last February, with whom I've never exchanged more than a total of ten words who may or may not be homophobic

    3) an old trick from a completely unassociated hotmail address of mine who never knew my real name but I knew his since he once emailed me there from his legit email address (which was the same full name he uses on his Facebook page)

    Am I being paranoid about these being red flags? Around the same time I also got a lot of disparate LinkedIn requests from people I knew years ago from a dog run who do not know each other with whom I'd occasionally blind copy dog pics with hotmail.

    I know your advice will probably be not to be so uptight and just ask these folk outright if they friended me, or blindly accept everyone's friend request and not take everything so seriously but I'm not built that way - I need to know what's going on - for example, if I friend-accept my nephew-in-law who I'm not even sure likes me and he didn't friend me I'd be embarrassed.
  • kiwi_nomad

    Posts: 316

    May 20, 2013 11:32 AM GMT
    you can search people on facebook just by their e-mail address, so that's where number 3 may have come from.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 11:40 AM GMT
    trbld saidDon't accept any friend requests that you don't want to.


    Well said!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 1:25 PM GMT
    I have a few ppl trying to add me on LinkedIn who are either relentless or else the system is just peppering me with robo- reminders. People don't seem to understand that it is not another Facebook. If we haven't seen each other since undergrad and never worked together why are you asking me for references? The new "endorsements" drive me nuts too, again because people are just randomly checking boxes to get on your good side which makes the whole thing pretty worthless.
  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    May 20, 2013 2:28 PM GMT
    You don't have to accept requests from anyone you don't want to, however, I don't see any harm with your cousin or neice's husband. I understand being weirded out by your ex-hookup, but you can put people in certain lists etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 4:58 PM GMT
    I don't use facebook, but I do see evidence of creepy data mining popping up all the time. For example, ads served to RJ that could only been linked to my IP address through credit card records.

    Oh, and I got bombarded with "Linked In" requests last month (I do not use Linked In) from a person whose connection to me is that she hit my car a couple of years ago icon_confused.gif WTF? I think that some app is probably spamming everyone in that person's email history.

    Oh yeah, one step in the decline of a family member's marriage was when one or both of them signed up for some sleazy dating site that automatically spammed everyone in their address book: "Your friend (named name) is waiting for you to join in the fun at XXXon-line!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 8:12 PM GMT
    "Linked in" generates requests without the owner ever asking.
    It just grabs the contacts. Really obnoxious.

    Y-U-No-Customize-Linkedin-Message.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2013 8:37 PM GMT
    Lazy ass distant friends/relatives cant pick up a phone to call you and say hi, or come see you when you're in the hospital, or be there for you when you graduate, or be there when you face financial hardships or emotional break downs ... but their punk asses will have the nerve to befriend you on face book or want to network with you on LinkedIn, when you can't even remember what their voice sounds like! And then those associate types who LinkedIn with you just for their page to look favorable to employers and networks that you haven't heard from since college.. pleeeaassse.... Sigh... Real friends, family, and associates are proven when you actually determine if they will be there for one another when the computer is down.


  • collegeguy_ac

    Posts: 111

    May 20, 2013 10:07 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said"Linked in" generates requests without the owner ever asking.
    It just grabs the contacts. Really obnoxious.


    You have to give it permission to do that. It doesn't just do that upon registration. A user has to conscientiously click "Add Contacts" and then give it permission to mine their e-mail account, instead of just adding connections one-by-one.

    But yeah, just don't accept any requests you don't want to. If you're worried about how it looks to distant family, just let the request sit for a really long time.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    May 20, 2013 10:12 PM GMT
    you could try proxies
  • gwuinsf

    Posts: 525

    May 20, 2013 10:15 PM GMT
    A guy I tricked with in NYC found me on Facebook a year later because I appeared in his Suggested Friends list. I never gave him my full name, so I tried to figure out how he tracked me down. Well I had texted him while I was in NYC. Texting him iPhone to iPhone gave my email address to his phone via iMessage. That then got synced into his contacts and when he paired up his contacts with Facebook, boom there I went.

    It was all a little weird.