Josh's Tales From Retail (Updated Frequently)

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    May 21, 2013 2:47 AM GMT
    So I think I'll make a little thread of stories from working at my place of retail. I need a place to vent or I'm going to go coo-coo (more-so than I already am).

    May 20th, 2013 - So today I almost was murdered by a 7' psychopath. I'm not even joking. This guy was 57 years old (had to check his I.D. as he was cashing a check). I was the only manager up front on duty and had to explain to this guy that our system was denying the check. There's no specific reason WHY, and it's certainly not my fault? So why did he get mad? I think he was on drugs. I calmly explained to him to please call the number and he began to snort and grunt as loud as he could. I mean, I don't care to throw down, but this guy was acting like a straight up gorilla. I've never met someone so crazy in my life. He then punched the counter and said "I HAVEN'T FOUGHT ANYONE IN A LONG TIME BUT I'M LOOKING TO KNOCK SOMEONE'S BLOCK OFF."

    Whatever, I don't even have a block. I have never been so mad and said "fuck it." I dropped everything, threw down my headset, told the manager above me that I was going to my car to vent and wouldn't be dealing with that customer anymore. I so would have won that fight anyway. I'm 140lbs of freagin fury.
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    May 20th, 2013 - A cracked out man tried returning two doorknob sets and two pairs of scissors that he just stole off the shelf. I denied him the sale as his eyes were bloodshot and he was foaming at the mouth. He began to walk out the door as the undercover security lady busted him hardcore and threw him into the AP office. I had to go stand in there as he looked at me like a medium-rare steak. I didn't die so today was okay.
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    May 21, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
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    May 21, 2013 3:04 AM GMT
    the public is never fun to deal with
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    May 21, 2013 3:04 AM GMT
    Oh I forgot to mention the story of the man who stuck Chuck-E Cheese tokens in the Coinstar and expected cash back. When it jammed up he got extremely irrated at me and was wondering why I was taking a long time.

    "Sir, you stuck Chuck-E-Cheese tokens and washers in here. Coinstar doesn't really support those."

    I'm sure you guys are waiting for his extremely rational and totally justifiable response.

    "No I didn't - you did that."

    Okay Robert at Advanced Auto Parts. I remember you. Not a good idea to wear your work uniform in Wal-Mart and try to treat other people like crap.
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    May 21, 2013 3:17 AM GMT
    looks like you have to find a new job, or else you may go insane dealing with all those people...unless you have lost of patience.
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    May 21, 2013 3:29 AM GMT
    Harry7785 saidlooks like you have to find a new job, or else you may go insane dealing with all those people...unless you have lost of patience.


    In this town you're doomed to retail or factories. It's much to small for anything else and no room in-between. I'm coming up on year 3 right now and make really awesome money, my hours are extremely flexible (if I want off for 3-4 days at a time I can), and I have some awesome friends. If it wasn't for that I would go absolutely insane haha!
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    May 21, 2013 3:34 AM GMT
    I admire you for doing what you do:-)
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    May 21, 2013 5:51 AM GMT
    Oh, you live *there*.. Dude, I'm sorry. Unfortunately, I hold the belief that all Americans be drafted to work in retail or as a restaurant server after graduating high school. Maybe we would be more considerate? (Yeah, I know. Pass the bong.)

    I would probably get murdered behind the counter because I'm not as observant as my friends are... "dude, that woman is *totally* tweaked out of her mind."

    Really? Did she check out my ass?icon_smile.gif
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    May 21, 2013 7:17 AM GMT
    As much as I hated working retail, I thought it was pretty entertaining at times. Also, you learn a lot about human nature.
  • hebrewman

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    May 21, 2013 8:58 AM GMT
    xrichx saidAs much as I hated working retail, I thought it was pretty entertaining at times. Also, you learn a lot about human nature.


    i'm glad i'm not the only one that thinks the public is insane. try being stuck with them in a sealed metal tube (i'm a flight attendant btw) for hours upon hours on end. after all, it's my fault that the overhead bins will not allow you to stow your subaru! and can someone PLEASE TELL ME why a back pack has to extend 3 feet from a persons back taking out every one in the aisle seats as they make their way to back of the plane?

    buddy, you and i can share a blog. because if you REALLY want to see how filthy the human race can be, put them in an airplane cabin for a few hours. disgusting.
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    May 21, 2013 10:42 AM GMT
    hebrewman said
    xrichx saidAs much as I hated working retail, I thought it was pretty entertaining at times. Also, you learn a lot about human nature.


    i'm glad i'm not the only one that thinks the public is insane. try being stuck with them in a sealed metal tube (i'm a flight attendant btw) for hours upon hours on end. after all, it's my fault that the overhead bins will not allow you to stow your subaru! and can someone PLEASE TELL ME why a back pack has to extend 3 feet from a persons back taking out every one in the aisle seats as they make their way to back of the plane?

    buddy, you and i can share a blog. because if you REALLY want to see how filthy the human race can be, put them in an airplane cabin for a few hours. disgusting.


    Where's my upgrade? Why aren't there meals in coach? I'll just leave this suitcase on the floor by the exit row, it doesn't fit under the seat.
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    May 21, 2013 10:52 AM GMT
    Josh, that is a very stressful job, but continue to take it in stride.

    It sounds like you live in an area similar to my hometown, except all the factory workers have been replaced with cash-paid illegal immigrants - true story and I don't intend that to sound racist.

    So, now everyone has to work either at Wal-Mart or the hospital.

    You are very mature and wise beyond your years and take it all in stride. My only request to you is should they make you one of those CSM's, do not let that go to your head and become an evil bitch. I have seen it happen before to people I know. It's not pretty. lol...

    Hugz.
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    May 21, 2013 11:56 AM GMT
    It's a hard knock life - Annie 1982 enjoy

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    May 21, 2013 12:56 PM GMT
    In 1965 I had an after-school job at a supermarket near my high school as a "bagger". I was putting groceries into a lady's cart at the check-out, when she decided to rearrange the bags. She picked up a plastic gallon milk container, and it slipped out of her hands back into the cart.

    These jugs were a brand-new innovation at the time, and the caps weren't as secure as the ones in the US today. The cap popped off and the milk poured all over the floor.

    Without missing a beat she screamed loudly at me, for everyone to hear: "Look what you did! You spilled my milk!"

    I still had my hands in the paper bag I was filling, and the checker & I just stared at each other in disbelief. "No, I saw you drop it yourself, I've been packing this bag," I calmly replied.

    "How dare you contradict me!" she screamed. "You dropped it into the cart! I demand to see the manager!"

    She then repeated her lie to the General Manager, who was also the owner of this store, a chain that operated somewhat like a franchise, individual stores having local owners. I tried to explain the truth to him but he silenced me and gave her a new jug of milk.

    Later he took me aside and said he didn't doubt my story, but his policy was to not dispute customers or they wouldn't return. My unimportant job was safe anyway because the owner was friends with my Father, who had his own stores, the only reason I wasn't working at one of them being the distance, since I couldn't have a driver's license yet. BTW, to this day I have almost a phobia about going into supermarkets. LOL!
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    May 21, 2013 1:41 PM GMT
    No crying over spilt milk, Aristo...
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    May 21, 2013 1:42 PM GMT
    showme said
    hebrewman said
    xrichx saidAs much as I hated working retail, I thought it was pretty entertaining at times. Also, you learn a lot about human nature.


    i'm glad i'm not the only one that thinks the public is insane. try being stuck with them in a sealed metal tube (i'm a flight attendant btw) for hours upon hours on end. after all, it's my fault that the overhead bins will not allow you to stow your subaru! and can someone PLEASE TELL ME why a back pack has to extend 3 feet from a persons back taking out every one in the aisle seats as they make their way to back of the plane?

    buddy, you and i can share a blog. because if you REALLY want to see how filthy the human race can be, put them in an airplane cabin for a few hours. disgusting.


    Where's my upgrade? Why aren't there meals in coach? I'll just leave this suitcase on the floor by the exit row, it doesn't fit under the seat.


    oh, so that was you on my over sold airbus 321 last week out of chicago? and yes, someone actually DID leave a roller bag by the 2L door cross aisle. hey, how about the schmuck that puts a bag in row 7 then saunters down the aisle to row 30. believe me, i've deflated more egos over that one in my career.
    and oh joy, the holiday weekend is fast approaching.... yippie!!!
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    May 21, 2013 2:12 PM GMT
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    May 21, 2013 2:17 PM GMT
    eagermuscle saidNo crying over spilt milk, Aristo...

    LMAO!!! icon_lol.gif
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    May 21, 2013 2:18 PM GMT
    I'm in the same place as you Josh hon icon_smile.gif *hug*
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    May 21, 2013 2:22 PM GMT
    Maybe learn some self-defense as a way to protect yourself againt looneys??
  • Hotgymguy22

    Posts: 98

    May 21, 2013 2:33 PM GMT
    As I read your posts I'm thinking to myself: "Please don't be from Alabama. Please don't be from Alabama. Please don't be from Alabama."

    You're from Alabama. As if we don't have enough things that make our state look bad haha.
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    May 21, 2013 3:08 PM GMT
    So the guy pounding the counter goes to anger management and learns to utilize his pathology in a socially acceptable way so that he becomes a mean girl on RJ where his popularity is lauded daily.

    Congratulations Josh, you have just discovered the way of the world.
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    May 21, 2013 3:43 PM GMT
    hebrewman said
    xrichx saidAs much as I hated working retail, I thought it was pretty entertaining at times. Also, you learn a lot about human nature.


    i'm glad i'm not the only one that thinks the public is insane. try being stuck with them in a sealed metal tube (i'm a flight attendant btw) for hours upon hours on end. after all, it's my fault that the overhead bins will not allow you to stow your subaru! and can someone PLEASE TELL ME why a back pack has to extend 3 feet from a persons back taking out every one in the aisle seats as they make their way to back of the plane?

    buddy, you and i can share a blog. because if you REALLY want to see how filthy the human race can be, put them in an airplane cabin for a few hours. disgusting.


    Believe me , i know what you have to endure ......
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    May 21, 2013 5:47 PM GMT
    I hate going to WalMart and Home Depot but had to yesterday for a purchase and a return. I was cheerful and nice to the Walmart cashier and the lady at the Home Depot return counter because it was obvious to me that they hated being there more than I did. Not that they should've kept a smile plastered on their faces at all times given the economy but I could tell they were having a bad day and I was so much happier that I wasn't on the other side of the counter.
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    May 21, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    eagermuscle saidI hate going to WalMart and Home Depot but had to yesterday for a purchase and a return. I was cheerful and nice to the Walmart cashier and the lady at the Home Depot return counter because it was obvious to me that they hated being there more than I did. Not that they should've kept a smile plastered on their faces at all times given the economy but I could tell they were having a bad day and I was so much happier that I wasn't on the other side of the counter.


    You know, I keep forgetting that outside Alabama there are actually other places to shop than Wal-Mart. Consider you guys lucky! icon_razz.gif