Handshakes vs. hugs.

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  Oct 27, 2008 1:49 PM GMT

  Hey guys... I'm just curious... How many of you masculine(!) guys here on RJ prefer the good old-fashioned firm(!!!) handshake over a hug when greeting/seeing your gay friends? Personally... there's no contest between the two... and my vote goes to the handshake.

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  Oct 27, 2008 1:58 PM GMT

  Firm handshake for first-time meetings, hugs for friends and for the gay guys I've met a few times before. But male hugs are so common here in Gayville, Florida that even our straight mayor hugs me, and his wife, too!
  
  BTW, my handshake really is extremely firm, from over 40 years of motorcycling I assume, squeezing those grips and levers. Most guys are surprised and often comment on it, because I'm so small and not strong looking otherwise.
  
  But I've always heard, and believe, that a strong handshake makes a good impression with other men. With women I back off a bit.

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  Oct 27, 2008 2:01 PM GMT

  when i'm greeting/seeing my gays? I hug.

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  Oct 27, 2008 2:06 PM GMT

  I agree with Red Vespa, if it is the first time I meet them, a firm handshake, until I can call someone my friend, then BEAR HUGS!!!

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• MikePhilPerez
  
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  Oct 27, 2008 2:44 PM GMT

  Whether you handshake or hug, it has nothing to do with being masculine or not.
  
  My partners culture is one where everyone hugs. First time I met some of his friends they were all hugs. First time one of his male friends (not gay) hugged me I thought "well this is nice, but is everyone gay or what?"
  
  Hugs are nice and I like them. And my partner gives the best hugs
  
  You should always hug your close friends.
  
  Mike

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  Oct 27, 2008 2:48 PM GMT

  Handshake..........Handsdown. It gives you a chance to look in the person's eyes and I like how a man shakes my hand. With a hug, lots of times it's overdone and silly, except in the right situation.

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  Oct 27, 2008 4:06 PM GMT

  Handshake, unless it's a really close friend, and then its one of those hand-grasp/shoulder bump/back slap things. I've got a personal bubble about a mile wide, and to me most hugs are affectations of over-familiarity.

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  Oct 27, 2008 4:13 PM GMT

  Good, firm handshake to begin with. If it goes to a hug later, that's fine.

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  Oct 27, 2008 4:19 PM GMT

  This was the biggest struggle I had coming out. I'd meet guys who would want to hug (which I don't mind) but never knew when to hug and when to shake! I finally decided, if I hadn't met them or gotten to know them, it was a handshake, if I knew them, a hug. If I knew them more than just a hello, then probably a peck with a hug!
  
  I still start with a handshake though. Not sure if it's habit, but I think it's just a safe (not necessarily thinking health here) way to greet another guy.

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  Oct 27, 2008 4:22 PM GMT

  Speaking of pecks w/ hugs, that's the thing I'm not too cool with. A hug is enough for me, but when someone I've never met, bypasses the handshake, goes for the hug, and then pecks -- I usually don't return the favor.
  
  And if they hug and they're wearing cologne which sticks to me, it's a problem. Other than a really mild, clean smelling after shave, I don't wear scents, and prefer the men I hang with to go scent-less as well.

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• MikePhilPerez
  
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  Oct 27, 2008 4:29 PM GMT

  It's just a hug

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  Oct 27, 2008 4:40 PM GMT

  MikePhil saidYou should always hug your close friends.
  

  
  
  totally agree... I always hug my gays.

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• GQjock
  
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  Oct 27, 2008 4:51 PM GMT

  A smooch full on the lips is what works best for me

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  Oct 27, 2008 4:56 PM GMT

  When 1st meeting someone, a nice, firm handshake! Friends/family though, a good hug!

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  Oct 27, 2008 5:05 PM GMT

  I agree with a1972guy ... handshake at first. Hugs from that point out. I'm a hugger, what can I say?

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  Oct 27, 2008 5:12 PM GMT

  I love my friends and I'm not afraid to show it. I always hug, even my straight friends. There are some exceptions. Acquaintances get the handshake.

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  Oct 27, 2008 5:25 PM GMT

  A firm slap on the ass works for me.

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  Oct 27, 2008 5:28 PM GMT

  It all depends on the context. I'm a big hugger with any of my friends when we've gone through some sort of emotional climax or are just plain slap happy for whatever reason. Besides that, its mostly handshakes, friends and acquaintances, gay and hetero, male and female.

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• Heart2Heart
  
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  Oct 27, 2008 5:41 PM GMT

  Love to hug my friends. All my straight friends want hugs from me! LOL!
  
  But for first time greetings, it's always a firm handshake and an introduction. I just think it would be kind of awkward being hugged by a guy I don't even know. Hell it gets awkward with girls I don't know!

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  Oct 27, 2008 6:19 PM GMT

  First meeting a hand shake after that it's a hug! I don't get some guys who try brake your bones when they are shaking you hand.
  
  If I wanted that I would put my freaking hand in a vice grip! I don't go limp in the wrist but give me a brake don't brake it.

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  Oct 27, 2008 6:33 PM GMT

  I much prefer a firm handshake as a greeting. Furthermore, I can't stand it when someone I've met only once hugs me, a simple "Hi, how are you" with a handshake would be fine.

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• TallGWMvballe...
  
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  Oct 27, 2008 6:43 PM GMT

  Handshakes with good eye contact for first meetings for me.
  Hugs I reserve for good friends gay or straight and relatives (that I like)
  
  Minor kisses just for really close gay friends.
  
  
  

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  Oct 27, 2008 6:51 PM GMT

  Handshake initially until there is a comfort level with the person. A hug from someone I have just been introduced to is a bit too informal.

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  Oct 27, 2008 6:54 PM GMT

  Handshakes for strangers, business associates and those who are insecure with the firm 3 sec hug thing.
  
  Hugs for family, good friends, the ladies and people who enjoy warm body contact. :-)

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  Oct 27, 2008 7:00 PM GMT

  Hugs for sure!
  
  I hate handshakes.

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