Buppi saidI'm not sure if this is a normal self-conscience, but it seems like I envy when a hot guy is taken, but in the long run i know it wouldn't work out even if he was interested in me.
Damn! My mind must be fucked up!
There was a time, before these iPhone apps and Internet chat rooms created a society where over 85% of gay men became shut-ins and actually ventured out in real life, took risks, and every day was an adventure at local (well established) gay places. You never knew who you were going to meet...that hot Latin mechanic who decided today was the day he wanted to meet other guys, and you met and started dating, or just hooked up with that guy you'd seen around but wasn't entirely sure he was gay...or maybe some guy who wasn't really your type but after seeing him a few times couldn't help becoming interested in each other.
What we have today can't replace that, and the days of spontaneity are long gone. Now are laundry lists of 'you better be this, this and that; look like this, dress like this, drive this kind of car or don't even talk to me.'
No wonder nobody meets anyone.
No wonder we all hate each other.
No wonder so many gay men are killing themselves.
Life is extremely lonely and hopeless when you realize more than anything that you're gay only to now discover you don't have access to other like minded gay men because they're all hiding at home waiting for you to say something first, arrange to meet, then they never show up because they can't be seen with another guy in public. Because that makes it real, and this group of gay guys is completely lacking in any adult social skills, ompassion or empathy.
It's about getting off to pics of straight guys online and then pretending it never happened. These guys will never benefit from gay marriage - they can't even bring themselves to meet another gay person in real life.
The danger has gone from the cute 'wanting what they can't have' to the tragedy of self-isolation being able to function as a healthy gay man who will likely die of suicide, but because so many of these men kept their desires so well hidden online, we will never know for sure if they were gay or severely isolated.
I do think we are living in an age of a digital closet, which is worse than before because there's even less incentive to come out when these guys see via chat rooms and profiles what's really waiting for them after they come out, and its not at all what they had hoped for. So they give up.