How to put yourself out there?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2013 5:47 AM GMT
    So I am new to this forum. I'm sorry if this has been said a million times before.

    But just in general, how do I start to put myself out there? A lot of the gay guys I know are not exactly people I would want to be friends with. A lot of them are just too sassy for me. I would like to just have a few chill buddies to hang out with. I am not in a relationship, never have been. How do I put myself out there?

    I've been thinking about going to a gay club alone. The only problem is that I don't want people to think that I am just there to have sex. icon_rolleyes.gif I would never go home with someone I just met.

    Anyways, just a few suggestions?

    Also, again, sorry, as I'm sure this has been brought up a few times here.
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    May 24, 2013 5:56 AM GMT
    Vavz saidI've been thinking about going to a gay club alone. The only problem is that I don't want people to think that I am just there to have sex. icon_rolleyes.gif I would never go home with someone I just met.
    Bring a friend to keep you in check.
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    May 24, 2013 6:10 AM GMT
    See, the problem that I have with that, is that when I'm with a friend, that's really all that I care about. I don't really go out of my way to talk to anyone because I already have someone to talk to. I want to be more open.

    I've been to this club before. I would feel safe there. I still think I should try it, just to try it. Does that make sense? If nothing comes out of it, at least I tried.
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    May 24, 2013 6:30 AM GMT
    Just 'cause you go to a club alone doesn't mean you have to leave with someone. Go by yourself and have a good time and leave when you want icon_cool.gif
  • quirkyquirk

    Posts: 71

    Aug 01, 2014 1:03 PM GMT
    There is a wonderful gay running group in Chicago called front runners. You look really fit... so maybe join them for the weekend runs? You will meet a group of guys dedicated to fitness and really good breakfast joints!
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    Aug 01, 2014 5:16 PM GMT
    Vavz saidSo I am new to this forum. I'm sorry if this has been said a million times before.

    But just in general, how do I start to put myself out there? A lot of the gay guys I know are not exactly people I would want to be friends with. A lot of them are just too sassy for me. I would like to just have a few chill buddies to hang out with. I am not in a relationship, never have been. How do I put myself out there?

    I've been thinking about going to a gay club alone. The only problem is that I don't want people to think that I am just there to have sex. icon_rolleyes.gif I would never go home with someone I just met.

    Anyways, just a few suggestions?

    Also, again, sorry, as I'm sure this has been brought up a few times here.


    check out meetup.com. they have lgbt groups and there will be less expectations for sex (unless it's a sex group).

    i've gone to bars alone. just try to be relaxed and look friendly but not desperate. act like you're waiting for someone and in a good mood. be open to casual conversation but bail on creepy ones. make a joke to people you don't know if the opportunity presents itself. enjoy the music. dance by yourself if you can. you might meet someone on the dance floor (though it might be because they're grinding up on your butt--happened to me recently). if you don't meet anyone the first time go back again. be your own party and they will come..

    wanting to be more open is the first step and you're there. chicago has tons of gay dudes and some of them will be great friends if that's what you want. you got this icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2014 5:18 PM GMT
    Apparition saidhmmm...I think most 14 yo straight guys have figured out how to be more open and meet people in say...a bar.

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    alcohol-05.jpg


    Maybe in Canada where the legal drinking age is 12...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2014 6:24 PM GMT
    There are other ways to possibly meet people. Gay support groups, religious groups, sport teams, clubs, tea dances. Perhaps that would be an alternative way of meeting people. If you know people arrange and invite some people to a movie night, or to an outing and ask them to invite some gay people that they know. That way you get to know some new people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2014 6:30 PM GMT
    "Beautiful"

    You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
    And show the world all the love in your heart
    Then people gonna treat you better
    You're gonna find, yes, you will
    That you're beautiful as you feel

    Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing
    I've got nothing to do but watch the passers-by
    Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing
    And they don't see it showing, why do I?

    You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
    And show the world all the love in your heart
    Then people gonna treat you better
    You're gonna find, yes, you will
    That you're beautiful as you feel

    I have often asked myself the reason for sadness
    In a world where tears are just a lullaby
    If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness
    Maybe not, oh, but we can only try

    You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
    And show the world all the love in your heart
    Then people gonna treat you better
    You're gonna find, yes, you will
    That you're beautiful as you feel





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