QuasarMarauder7 saidI need to enforce the illusion that I'm straight
you describe yourself as strong in your profile, but this post seems anything but. Nobody on RJ is going to be able to tell you what to do as this is an extremely personal subject. Why is it that you feel you can't come out?
I coped with it by finally not giving a shit what my family thought about me and I came out. Best decision I've ever made in my entire life despite it pretty much costing me my relationship with my folks. My friends we amazing about it
I can't come out currently in this era of my life because I'm not able to support myself yet, I'm about to graduate high school. I honestly don't care what my family and friends think of me like that or if they like me or need me. I love them but I just can't let them or any other human have such an influence on my personality and character. My friends I know don't care and probably won't when I enter college, some of my family don't and I still talk to them. But for the ones who do care I might come out to them when I can take care of myself and I guess if they're OK good if not then I don't need them in my life I'll be fine. Thanks for your help guys
I understand. I didn't feel comfortable enough to do it until I felt autonomous enough (i.e. self supportive). One question arose while reading this though. You said that you are okay enough to deal the the potential acceptance or rejection of your friends, family, and social circumstance, if you were to come out now. Do you fear being cut off financially? This is legitimate, especially if college will be supported by your family. I ask so that you can begin identifying and naming what holds you back.
It's okay to navigate this on your own time, as long as you are aware that the steps you take to temporarily relieve the stress are just that, temporary.
Things that helped me dance the DL dance included being very committed to my studies in college. Striving to be in the top of your class is all consuming, and a built in excuse to be the single, asexual friend. Another thing that helped was being a part of many social circles, so that I could easily hop between circles to avoid settings where I'd be questioned about relationships and such. Next, and very important, pay attention and tend to your sexual health. DL guys are at risk for practicing deviant/dangerous sexual behavior (secretive, limited-range, and high risk sex practices). If you aren't sexually satisfied in a hetero relationship, and are not satisfied j/o, then you will seek more, and that can place you at risk for developing risky paraphillias that can get you in trouble or place you at risk for engaging in practices that are convenient for the moment, yet put your health at risk (like the stereotypical random, unsafe park hookups of years past, that I'm sure still go on). I work in mental health and have seen this before.
Lastly, do exactly as you're doing now, identify a safe space where you can talk to others openly about the stress, and use it.