If you're on a date and the guys texting several times during it

  • IAmTheOneWhoK...

    Posts: 154

    May 27, 2013 1:42 AM GMT
    Is it considered overreacting if I make it clear that it's annoying me, yet he still does it, and then I feel that it's so rude that I eventually just stop trying in the date and just become incredibly indifferent to everything he says. He said it was a friend, but come on, what gay guy texts his guy friends while on a date?

    Funny thing is, as the date ends, he actually says "Text me?" I deleted his number obviously and have no further interest.

    Am I an oversensitive bitch for considering this incredibly disrespectful on just the second date?
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    May 27, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    from the way you phased the story, it seems like you were justified.

    did you consider...maybe the text messages were important? time sensitive? etc.

    ah the smartphones...creating a new generation of anti-social behaviours
    lol
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    May 27, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    ataraxia saidfrom the way you phased the story, it seems like you were justified.

    did you consider...maybe the text messages were important? time sensitive? etc.

    ah the smartphones...creating a new generation of anti-social behaviours
    lol


    If the texts are important enough to need immediate reply it's polite to apologize for the interruptions and mention that it's necessary. If he were just looking at his phone it could be excused as a nervous tick but actually texting without an excuse is too much.
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    May 27, 2013 4:10 AM GMT
    You're not overreacting. I honestly think it's rude to be texting when you're on date or hanging out with friends. You did right by deleting his number. Plenty of fish in the sea.
  • SinfulWays

    Posts: 542

    May 27, 2013 4:14 AM GMT
    That's WAY RUDE... I would have jumped on my phone and had my Stand by guy (who is hot as Hell) come pick me up 5 mins after that stunt...
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    May 27, 2013 6:33 AM GMT
    If it's really important, excuse yourself from the table to make the text. If it's not important, it can wait.
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    May 27, 2013 1:59 PM GMT
    I once went on a date with this incredibly handsome young man and soon found out he was equally handsome as he was stupid. Not wanting to appear rude I started doing things to end the date, from licking the butter to trying to hit on the sexy waitress. Finally I just started checking email and texting friends to describe what a boring bong hit I was sitting across from. That too did not seem to phase the moron, so I excused myself from the table and walked out.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 27, 2013 2:15 PM GMT
    Absolutely you aren't overreacting. I'd do the same.

    What is he really saying by texting? "You aren't important enough for my full attention". You were cool by going through the remainder of it.
    Only an emergency would be an excuse.. like a family member with a serious problem, etc. and if that were the case, I would have explained it in advance and made it clear it was a serious issue.
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    May 27, 2013 2:40 PM GMT
    I was on a date once with an attractive man who told me upfront he was self-employed, and that we might be disturbed during the evening by text messages. I completely understood that...until he started getting increasingly more messages, laughing to himself about the contents, and replying. I became increasingly annoyed, as he seemed more entertained by his texting buddies than by me. When the coffee date was over, I thanked him & told him I am heading home. He seemed a little shocked by my decision to depart.
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    May 27, 2013 2:42 PM GMT
    Agree with all of the above. I sometimes even start off dinner dates with friends or family by saying "oh, let me put my phone on vibrate so that we don't get bothered.." as a sign. Usually a good signal if they follow suit icon_wink.gif
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    May 27, 2013 2:47 PM GMT
    Next time, ask for a pitcher of Bloody Mary and when it arrives, dunk your date's phone in it. No date has more sizzle than with a phone on the fritz.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    May 27, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    The whole having ur phone by ur side every waking moment is beyond annoying.

    If he needed to text he should be like "sorry I just have to txt this person back real quick".... and hopefully thats the only time he does it, but if he keeps doing it..that's super annoying.

    U should text him today and say--- i having lunch today, wanna join me via txt msg? That way u go to lunch by urself and just txt eachother the whole time. Cute
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    May 27, 2013 5:53 PM GMT
    it's rude
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    May 27, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    No, you're not being over-sensitive at all.

    Unless they have some kind if excuse like he's an important business man that needs to reply to emails A.S.A.P (which probably wasn't likely in your situation). . .

    That extremely rude and inconsiderate to the other person.

    I hate how everyone is so attached to their phone nowadays, it ridiculous. Then again, this is coming from someone who doesn't even have a phone so. . .
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    May 27, 2013 6:04 PM GMT
    rude on both your behalves!
  • toastvenom

    Posts: 1020

    May 27, 2013 6:07 PM GMT
    ironic that they are called "smartphones" yet the one's using them are anything but.
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    May 27, 2013 6:47 PM GMT
    No, your absolutely right that is inconsiderate and rude, but it gives you insight to who would be your partner if you proceeded further with him.

    When that happens I usually - just walk away...saying "obviously something more important has come up - and you need to take care of it. I do not think you have the time to date right now".
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    May 27, 2013 6:56 PM GMT
    IAmTheOneWhoKnocks saidIs it considered overreacting if I make it clear that it's annoying me, yet he still does it, and then I feel that it's so rude that I eventually just stop trying in the date and just become incredibly indifferent to everything he says. He said it was a friend, but come on, what gay guy texts his guy friends while on a date?

    Funny thing is, as the date ends, he actually says "Text me?" I deleted his number obviously and have no further interest.

    Am I an oversensitive bitch for considering this incredibly disrespectful on just the second date?


    No, you are not an oversensitive bitch. You just simply realize life extends beyond the cell phone. Find another date. The guy you described will likely find someone who enjoys sex via the cell phone.
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    May 27, 2013 7:17 PM GMT
    [quote]If the texts are important enough to need immediate reply it's polite to apologize for the interruptions and mention that it's necessary. If he were just looking at his phone it could be excused as a nervous tick but actually texting without an excuse is too much.[/quote]

    ^exactly, If someone texts me during a date or something i will always apologize and tell the person who text me that i'm busy and i'd normally have my phone on silent.

    i remember that a guy i hooked up with actually went on grindr as we were doing stuff! but previously he had said not make a "mess" on him, i remembered that and got it right in his eye icon_twisted.gif
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    May 27, 2013 7:21 PM GMT
    I would ask 'what's the point in going on a date if you're going to talk to someone else the whole time?' Clearly he is not ready to date or rather he doesn't know what a real date is. Good job losing his number.
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    May 27, 2013 7:28 PM GMT
    IAmTheOneWhoKnocks saidIs it considered overreacting if I make it clear that it's annoying me, yet he still does it, and then I feel that it's so rude that I eventually just stop trying in the date and just become incredibly indifferent to everything he says. He said it was a friend, but come on, what gay guy texts his guy friends while on a date?

    Funny thing is, as the date ends, he actually says "Text me?" I deleted his number obviously and have no further interest.

    Am I an oversensitive bitch for considering this incredibly disrespectful on just the second date?


    no. frankly i despise texting and how dependent and comfortable we've become on it. If I were on a date and a guy were to start texting and not apologize with something like "I'm sorry, its work" then i would feel like he's not that interested in me. As a rule, i will NEVER text during a date and if I do I apologize immediately and usually turn my phone off after that.
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    May 27, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    Unless it's an emergency, or something really critical, which everyone understands, no one should phone, text, read texts or check messages while on a date. Turn it off and focus your attention on the person in front of you. This should be obvious to even the most obtuse.
  • jordon21

    Posts: 43

    May 27, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    wow, sounds just like how my boyfriend used to be at the absolute beginning. I mean we used to be sitting at the table with dead silence and all I heard was the buttons clicking!! It made me so angry. Thing is, he may have this rudeness programmed into him because other people around him allow it. But if the guy is a keeper, you gotta teach the dog to fetch sometimes. Or spare yourself the trouble and ditch the douche . lol
    Just celebrated my 9 month anniversary on friday...icon_wink.gif
  • MarvelClimber

    Posts: 511

    May 27, 2013 8:05 PM GMT
    I don't know why guys do this and think it's acceptable. You were quite polite sitting through it all. If I liked him enough not to end the date, I'd invite him to play a game. Put your phone on the table. Whoever touches their phone for whatever reason pays the bill and puts out.
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    May 27, 2013 8:33 PM GMT
    Its only acceptable in my opinion if it's a "casual" date, more like friending out not exactly dating. You were right in your actions. I keep my phone off when I'm out in that environment.