Is having sex with your good/best friend a bad thing?

  • Enjoythejock

    Posts: 16

    May 27, 2013 5:43 PM GMT
    I have a few close friends of which I'm attracted to but wouldn't date. And I think they feel the same way. I believe that we could actually up the friendship by experiencing one another sexually... Truthfully, I think humans can incorporate sex into everyday social constructs. I think we're moving closer to that notion and it is only a matter of time before it's the norm... ya?
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    May 27, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    I've never done it but, I have a lot of friends who have and are fine with it. I don't think it's a big deal. It happens.
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    May 27, 2013 5:48 PM GMT
    If both want to, then why not?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 27, 2013 6:11 PM GMT
    LOL ... Boy are you ever naive!
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    May 27, 2013 6:12 PM GMT
    no, for me it's one of those "don't shit where you eat" kind of thing.
  • Kwokpot

    Posts: 329

    May 27, 2013 6:19 PM GMT
    I think it's VERY common for the the reverse to happen:IOW guys that you've had casual sex with become very good friends, but I think it's VERY unusual for it to happen the way you describe.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    May 27, 2013 6:19 PM GMT
    Mesmer saidno, for me it's one of those "don't shit where you eat" kind of thing.


    sage advice. U should be the next Ricki Lake
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    May 27, 2013 6:21 PM GMT
    "Sexual desire is the most absorbing of all desires. This desire is never satisfied, and the more it is indulged, the more it grows." Tolstoy from Anna Karenina.

    It's human thing to have desires for sex just like animals, but only humans have the ability to resist their desires.

    From your post, I can understand that you want to have sex with your friends, but something is stoping you to go ahead, that something is your conscience. So, in your heart you know it's wrong but your desire is tempting you.
    It seems to me like you want to justify your future actions by gaining support from others so that you can argue with your conscience and try to convince yourself that there's nothing wrong in it.

    You already know the answer to your question.
    try to control your desires and then think again.
    Your desire to seek pleasure compells you to stop listening to your conscience.
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    May 27, 2013 6:29 PM GMT
    Sexy Hunk Dream Guy saidI have a few close friends of which I'm attracted to but wouldn't date. And I think they feel the same way. I believe that we could actually up the friendship by experiencing one another sexually... Truthfully, I think humans can incorporate sex into everyday social constructs. I think we're moving closer to that notion and it is only a matter of time before it's the norm... ya?


    God help me...but no.

    It is nice getting: "Love you to buddy--just not like that," or "if I swung that way, you'd be my first".

    Not so nice getting: "That never happened," or "I was drunk--not a fag bro".
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 27, 2013 8:27 PM GMT
    Depends on the friend. I've been in these situations, and emotions ALWAYS get involved. You're playing with fire, and it might be hot, but there's a high risk of getting burned.
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    May 27, 2013 8:28 PM GMT
    Turning tricks into friends - easy. The other way around? Haven't had the pleasure.
  • Enjoythejock

    Posts: 16

    May 27, 2013 9:35 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidLOL ... Boy are you ever naive!


    I can count the number of guys I've had sex with in seven years on one hand.
    You're so quick to judge, but don't realize it's your own ego getting the best of ya... try chiming in with something adult...
  • Enjoythejock

    Posts: 16

    May 27, 2013 9:41 PM GMT
    I'm not pushing the "im horny and want to get laid" aspect. I feel that humans are evolving. Barriers are changing with advent of social media outlets like FB, twitter, phone aps, even texting. The privacy veil is becoming thinner and thinner and we're becoming far more intimate with one another than ever before. I say sex with friends as a mature adult decision not drunken mishap or debauchery...
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    May 27, 2013 9:50 PM GMT
    I think it's a bad idea for most people because you both have to be very very mature to do this and remain friends. But I think it can work in some cases. Only you know the answer if it's right for you or not.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 27, 2013 9:53 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidI think it's a bad idea for most people because you both have to be very very mature to do this and remain friends. But I think it can work in some cases. Only you know the answer if it's right for you or not.


    Absolutely agree with the answer. Good communication is key.. too often times petty stuff gets in the mix and can ruin a friendship with benefits (in the true sense of the term. Without a mature approach, it could devolve into pettiness and drama.
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    May 27, 2013 9:58 PM GMT
    Enjoythejock saidI'm not pushing the "im horny and want to get laid" aspect. I feel that humans are evolving. Barriers are changing with advent of social media outlets like FB, twitter, phone aps, even texting. The privacy veil is becoming thinner and thinner and we're becoming far more intimate with one another than ever before. I say sex with friends as a mature adult decision not drunken mishap or debauchery...


    To what end...what is the end result that would be pleasing?

    My experience is that the level intimacy rises to a degree that one or the other can no longer sustain.
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    May 27, 2013 10:07 PM GMT
    As always, it depends on the parties involved. I have had sex with two of my best friends more than once and we are still best friends though both of them are married now. LOL. It was fun when it was fun and that was it.
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    May 27, 2013 10:12 PM GMT
    I've done it. Wouldn't say it's a bad thing but I can see where it could get messy, especially if one friend wants to stop having sex and the other doesn't.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2013 11:36 PM GMT
    Can I be your friend? icon_wink.gif

    Lets-Be-Friends.jpg
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 27, 2013 11:41 PM GMT
    Honestly... Why not? I mean, if you and your friend are close and have a good connection and can handle something like that, I say give it a try. Just know that emotions can come into play and make things complicated but if you know in your heart and he knows in his that this kind of thing won't hurt your friendship, I say go for it if you really want to.
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    May 28, 2013 12:05 AM GMT
    hellass saidCan I be your friend? icon_wink.gif

    Lets-Be-Friends.jpg



    Okay......but it's going to be a lot like the scene at 1:00. icon_eek.gif
  • Enjoythejock

    Posts: 16

    May 28, 2013 12:36 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    Enjoythejock saidI'm not pushing the "im horny and want to get laid" aspect. I feel that humans are evolving. Barriers are changing with advent of social media outlets like FB, twitter, phone aps, even texting. The privacy veil is becoming thinner and thinner and we're becoming far more intimate with one another than ever before. I say sex with friends as a mature adult decision not drunken mishap or debauchery...


    To what end...what is the end result that would be pleasing?

    My experience is that the level intimacy rises to a degree that one or the other can no longer sustain.


    But that's the point. You're looking at sex as changing the friendship into something more. I'm not. I'm looking at it as enhancing the friendship. Instead of spending hours and hours talking why not take a couple hours and experience the friendship. I just don't find fault in that. You're experiencing someone you value and as long as the respect is there first then I say fine. Mature adults apply.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 28, 2013 1:06 AM GMT
    The best piece of advice regarding sex came from my friend, just after I came out:

    Don't fuck the flock.

  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    May 28, 2013 1:09 AM GMT
    it very much depends on the person(s) and situation.



    I,probably, wouldn't do it. but then again im a prude.
  • deep388

    Posts: 859

    May 28, 2013 2:32 AM GMT
    I've snogged all of my friends, but I haven't actually had sex with any of them. It never crosses my mind even though some of them are in general terms "attractive".