Will he dump me after his braces come off?

  • christastic

    Posts: 376

    May 28, 2013 1:14 AM GMT
    A really hot guy messaged me a short while ago, and we went on a couple dates so far. His braces aren't really an issue for me... my worry is that it's the only thing keeping him from guys way above my league, and that if we get into a relationship, I might be dumped the minute the braces come off. I shouldn't be this cynical, but gays seem to be really aware of their "market value".
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    May 28, 2013 2:24 AM GMT
    Men are aware of their market value.


    But you need to be aware of yours too. And the more insecurities you have, the lower your value goes. I hate to put dating in these terms but if you want to stay secure and confident in your relationship so that he won't have any reason to go outside your relationship, you need to get a handle on it.

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    May 28, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    I think the best "market value" you could have is your self confidence. Stop worrying that he will leave you and he probably won't. If he does, so what, just dust yourself off and find someone else you will love you. Besides, he probably would appreciate the fact that you saw past the braces, so already you have something going for you in his eyes. Just my two cents. icon_smile.gif
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    May 29, 2013 6:03 PM GMT
    Honestly, I understand you crystal clear.

    As shallow as it seems, I get insecure and consider my "market value" and which "league" I'm in as well.

    For example, I don't think I'm really good looking so I compensate by studying hard and working out. So if I don't wow them with my face, hopefully my mediocre face + slightly above average body will. I know it's sounds stupid but it helps put my mind at ease a bit.

    Oh and I have braces too. Surprisingly, people find guys with braces from 19-21 not any bit less attractive, so you can sense that your boy friend probably has more insecurities then just the braces.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 29, 2013 6:05 PM GMT
    Have you considered him having braces as a good time to make a great impression so once they do come off he's already smitten with you and has no interest in other guys?

    May not be the best way to approach it, but its one way to approach it.
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    May 29, 2013 6:47 PM GMT
    IceBuckets said ...And the more insecurities you have, the lower your value goes...


    +1
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 29, 2013 6:52 PM GMT
    If he dumps you after his braces come off, then you're better off without him.
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    May 29, 2013 6:54 PM GMT
    Depends. Does he have his driver's license yet?
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    May 29, 2013 9:10 PM GMT
    gayinterest said
    IceBuckets said ...And the more insecurities you have, the lower your value goes...


    +1

    Yeah, this should be taught in Gay101 because I have met way too many hot, seemingly interesting guys, and once they begin sharing their rampant insecurities I have had to run.
  • christastic

    Posts: 376

    Jun 10, 2013 11:28 PM GMT
    mbio said...Stop worrying that he will leave you and he probably won't. If he does, so what, just dust yourself off and find someone else you will love you. Besides, he probably would appreciate the fact that you saw past the braces, so already you have something going for you in his eyes. Just my two cents. icon_smile.gif


    Lol that's extremely optimistic... it's pretty clear to me (and probably him) that I "saw past" the braces cuz he's effin hot. I've seen him 4 times now and we've been hitting it off, but I m not sure if I want to waste time in a relationship that might end for such a horrible reason.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jun 10, 2013 11:42 PM GMT
    When I see any comment/message like this.

    tumblr_lwbjkvGSSJ1ql141xo1_500.gif


    FIRST OFF: Dump him, whatever.

    Why?: Because this sounds like quite an unhappy relationship- especially if you've had these thoughts and have felt the need, or even the urge, to take them onto a public internet forum.

    You're insecure with the relationship, for whatever reason, and t has provoked you to make this thread....

    And base the reasons why he's in the relationship with you to be BRACES of all things.

    .... Maybe he likes your personality (literally)? Intelligence? Maybe you actually are his type and he isn't looking for "better"? If you're on realjock I assume you have a decent physique, maybe he enjoys that.

    ....Or maybe he really isn't even close to as hot as you're imagining him.


    SECONDLY: Enough is enough.

    Close your wounds, close em. This is ridiculous. You got messaged by a "really hot guy" and go on a few dates with him.

    THESE EMOTIONS ARE TOO PREMATURE. STOP!!!!!!!

    This is some of the best advice you're going to get. DO NOT let yourself go head over heels for a guy after a few cutsey little dates and whispers of love and soft kisses.

    THIRDLY: You should ridiculously shallow.

    "A really hot guy".... THOSE ARE YOUR WORDS EXACTLY.

    So because he is a really hot guy, seemingly that being the only trait of his that makes him worthy of being dated by you.

    It also sounds like the only trait of his you've focused on because of these insecurities.

    -------

    Tl;dr: Just leave the relationship. Leave it now. This is just toxic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:48 PM GMT
    Could you give his dentist a backhander to get him to recommend the braces stay on? After all, dentists really like money.
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jun 10, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    If he dumps you after the braces come off, he isn't worth the chase. He probably has as many insecurities as you do, don't worry about him leaving you and enjoy your time together ;)
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:52 PM GMT
    #highschoolproblems
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    Jun 11, 2013 12:02 AM GMT
    Matiz said#highschoolproblems


    HAHAHAHA. Not to laugh at you but you've gone on a couple of dates. if he leaves you now then BFD, he wasn't worth your time anyway.
  • Teth1

    Posts: 39

    Jun 11, 2013 12:02 AM GMT
    lol

    Oh dear...
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    Jun 11, 2013 12:13 AM GMT
    IceBuckets saidMen are aware of their market value.


    But you need to be aware of yours too. And the more insecurities you have, the lower your value goes. I hate to put dating in these terms but if you want to stay secure and confident in your relationship so that he won't have any reason to go outside your relationship, you need to get a handle on it.



    I just thought of a great app... It calculates a guy's market value and compares it to other men icon_biggrin.gif
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jun 11, 2013 2:01 AM GMT
    OP - Hot guys have been known to date guys that are less hot. Witness, he is dating you (although you wouldn't break any mirrors). Can you think of any other possibly up-coming events that might cause him to drop you? Like he might have bought a winning lottery ticket? His mother might be coming for a visit from China? He might catch bird flu next month? One of his past high school crushes might suddenly arrive on the scene, and he would have to explore a relationship with him?

    Enjoy what you have, and stop worrying about the future. If he drops you, well so be it - but it would hardly be because in a post-braces condition he can then date hotter men.

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    Jun 11, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    aww, I'm sure he won't dump you just b/c his braces come off. Besides. I love a guy with braces. It's so cute, I could puke.
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    Jun 11, 2013 2:05 AM GMT
    If you even think this would be an issue ( which obviously you do because you are asking ) then get rid of him immediately !
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    Jun 11, 2013 2:28 AM GMT
    IceBuckets saidMen are aware of their market value.
    But you need to be aware of yours too. And the more insecurities you have, the lower your value goes. I hate to put dating in these terms but if you want to stay secure and confident in your relationship so that he won't have any reason to go outside your relationship, you need to get a handle on it.


    Oh man, well if that's the case my market value is so low I'm pretty much free lol.

    'Non-joke' jokes aside (hehe okay I'll stop) back to the OP, if worse case scenario he really does see it as "oh my braces are gone, I'm way too good for this guy now" let it be done because you really shouldn't have people like that in your life.
    Also consider why you want to keep this relationship.
    If you want it so much JUST because you feel that he's so above your league, that's not a good enough reason (albeit my own personal view I guess) to keep a relationship.

    I had a friend who felt the same way about a girl who liked him.
    They were both friends of mine and he would always say "I can't believe she would ever be into me".
    Well long story short, it was VERY rocky at best and it turned out to be a complete 3 years wasted in both of their lives.

    All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with finding him "really hot" but there's just got to be more than that if it's a committed relationship you're after.
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    Jun 11, 2013 2:29 AM GMT
    IceBuckets saidMen are aware of their market value.


    But you need to be aware of yours too. And the more insecurities you have, the lower your value goes. I hate to put dating in these terms but if you want to stay secure and confident in your relationship so that he won't have any reason to go outside your relationship, you need to get a handle on it.

    this
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Jun 11, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    I love watching forumers take every opportunity to advertise their apparent confidence by giving utterly useless advice.

    Suetonius: +1
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    Jun 11, 2013 4:14 AM GMT
    lonesomepidgeon said
    I shouldn't be this cynical, but gays seem to be really aware of their "market value".


    Rather , you should take a look in the mirror and ask yourself why you would date a guy who would dump you if he thought there was an upgrade out there.

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    Jun 11, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    Is this post for real? Gees...