Preference vs Racism

  • highinsight

    Posts: 11

    May 28, 2013 10:56 AM GMT
    This is probably something that's been over talked, but I haven't exactly had closure with it. This is just meant to be a discussion of the matter, let's not argue, merely exchange debates or opinions on what it means to only date people of a certain race or ethnicity. So if I said I only liked Asians for example, would you say that I was racist or just expressing a preference?
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    May 28, 2013 12:34 PM GMT
    i personally dont have a preference, attractive people exist in all races, however in my personal opinion some races have larger number of attractive men (as per my definition of attractive) and some a little less. i also believe that you have less of a control on what you are attracted to.
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    May 28, 2013 1:01 PM GMT
    whatever3009 saidi personally dont have a preference, attractive people exist in all races, however in my personal opinion some races have larger number of attractive men (as per my definition of attractive) and some a little less. i also believe that you have less of a control on what you are attracted to.

    This.
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    May 28, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    i always thought preference can change with environment + time

    not attracted to a certain race? try living in a new country filled with said race, live with them for 1+ years, and lets see how your preferences change.

    there should be some scholarly research on this...but probably too wide scale to perform.
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    May 28, 2013 5:53 PM GMT
    Ok, so I have preferences (as does EVERYONE), and there are definitely races that I tend to lean towards. Certain features.

    I don't consider myself racist and I don't consider your example (only liking Asians) to be racist either.

    As whatever3009 stated above: "you have less control over what you are attracted to". So PERSONALLY, I'm not offended if someone says "oh I'm sorry, I'm not into mixed guys/ half-black guys". It's a preference and it's probably nothing personal, just what they're attracted to. NO BIG DEAL, I'll find someone who IS attracted to me.

    I also kida agree with what ataraxia said: "try living in a new country filled with said race, live with them. . . See how your preferences change". Not sure if that has been proven or not, but I'm sure it would build up a sort-of "tolerance" to said race.
  • highinsight

    Posts: 11

    May 28, 2013 6:59 PM GMT
    I understand, I do think that people don't always have control over what they're attracted to, but I also think there is an underlying element of racism. It isn't always that person's fault though, I think we live in a country where White people for example are always portrayed as "better," and so we develop subconsciously develop a preference for that race because it's what's acceptable.
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    May 28, 2013 7:26 PM GMT
    The difference between preference and racism is that preference only excludes based on one's personal idea of attractiveness, while racism excludes based on one's misunderstanding of a particular race.
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    May 28, 2013 7:30 PM GMT
    ataraxia saidi always thought preference can change with environment + time

    not attracted to a certain race? try living in a new country filled with said race, live with them for 1+ years, and lets see how your preferences change.

    there should be some scholarly research on this...but probably too wide scale to perform.


    So true!!!

    Your preferences can surely change or evolve over time. When somebody says I dont find a particular race attractive, I find that a bit immature. There are plenty of attractive men in all races.

    Also if somebody doesnt find me attractive I dont automatically assume that he is not into brown guys (I am brown), a lot of times when some guys experience rejection they automatically assume that the reason the person rejected them was because of their race - that's a bit stupid in my opinion.
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    May 28, 2013 8:11 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe difference between preference and racism is that preference only excludes based on one's personal idea of attractiveness, while racism excludes based on one's misunderstanding of a particular race.


    yep - agree
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    May 29, 2013 3:02 AM GMT
    Preference: "White guys only"

    Ugly-and-Crazy-Man.jpg

    Racism: "Sorry. No asians."

    hsj-abs-1.jpg

    Honestly people are attracted to what they are attracted to. Can't help it. It's how they describe it that rubs people the wrong way.
  • Christoforos

    Posts: 264

    May 29, 2013 3:19 AM GMT
    Here we fucking go again.

    There's a nice long discussion on this topic right here:http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3205981
  • highinsight

    Posts: 11

    May 29, 2013 4:17 AM GMT
    Thanks Christoforos. I'm a new member, so I don't exactly know how to navigate everything yet, but I'll just continue here for the simplicity of it.
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    May 29, 2013 8:12 AM GMT
    Preference is for characteristics, physical features, hobbies, ideology.

    Racism is taught.Racial "preference" is also learned behavior.
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    May 29, 2013 8:30 AM GMT
    ataraxia saidi always thought preference can change with environment + time

    not attracted to a certain race? try living in a new country filled with said race, live with them for 1+ years, and lets see how your preferences change.

    there should be some scholarly research on this...but probably too wide scale to perform.


    That is so true! It happened to me. Like many white europeans, I used to find asians not attractive. Then I tried living in Japan and "discovered" the Asian beauty. Now I think I can say I prefer Asian than whites.

    For me, racial preferences are not individual racism, but a natural consequence of a racist society (and ALL the societies in the world are more or less racist).
    I realized that I used to not like Asians because french society or french medias had never shown me what a "beautiful asian" was. The only Asians we see on TV are caricatural ugly clowns and that is the only acceptable image we have (no wonder why PSY's gangnam style was such a success in the West). Then I discovered a society that showed me handsome asian men. I didn't take too long for me to be attracted to them.

    The opposite exists in Japan : the medias show asian beauty and white beauty (via american culture) so most of the people there say they like Asians and Whites. But many don't find Blacks attractive. Because you almost never see handsome black people on TV or in the magazines there.
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    May 29, 2013 8:58 AM GMT
    It's an interesting theory, but...

    I grew up living in The Netherlands, USA (Texas), Burma, Pakistan and the UK, attending mostly International Schools represented by students and staff from dozens of countries, religions and cultures. I am the furthest you can be from racist; I experienced a multi-cultural utopia.

    Yet, I have sexual preferences. Mostly for men of countries or regions I've NOT lived in.
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    May 29, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    madfacts said
    whatever3009 saidi personally dont have a preference, attractive people exist in all races, however in my personal opinion some races have larger number of attractive men (as per my definition of attractive) and some a little less. i also believe that you have less of a control on what you are attracted to.

    This.


    I third this
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    May 29, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    WHITEPOWER said
    gayinterest saidIt's an interesting theory, but...

    I grew up living in The Netherlands, USA (Texas), Burma, Pakistan and the UK, attending mostly International Schools represented by students and staff from dozens of countries, religions and cultures. I am the furthest you can be from racist; I experienced a multi-cultural utopia.

    Yet, I have sexual preferences. Mostly for men of countries or regions I've NOT lived in.


    ????


    What don't you get??

    It's quite simple - because I spent my formative years in diversely multi-cultural surroundings within many radically different countries I understood from an early age that people are people no matter where they come from; some have wonderful characters and some less so. I do not judge people's worth or socio/emotional compatibility based on their heritage.

    But, from a shallow sexual lust point of view, there is a trend that I will find men from certain genetic backgrounds more physically attractive, and there is no shame in this. Just as some men lust over muscular / slim / brunette / blond / tall / short / older / younger men, I often find myself drawn to olive-skinned and hairy men with a Mediterranean or Arabic heritage. And this is by no means exclusive. My partner is actually a pale, balding, not massively hairy northern Englishman.

    We don't constantly pick people up on their preference for men of a certain age, height, body shape, hair colour, etc. So why should their genetic heritage be any different?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2013 6:45 PM GMT
    Yes, but not exclusively. I didn't live in Syria, Lebanon, Spain or Lithuania, but I find their men particularly attractive too,
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    May 30, 2013 6:08 AM GMT
    highinsight saidI understand, I do think that people don't always have control over what they're attracted to, but I also think there is an underlying element of racism. It isn't always that person's fault though, I think we live in a country where White people for example are always portrayed as "better," and so we develop subconsciously develop a preference for that race because it's what's acceptable.


    Wow, Wow, Wow. Highinsight, of course you think that we live in a country where white people are always portrayed as better. Speaking as a Hispanic man, it seems that the African American community is set on continuing to victimize themselves by pushing these kinds of ideas. Are white people really portrayed as better or did members of your community teach and tell you this? This question I ask you is not hate and is not racism. It is asking you about where you developed your ideas of race. It is a observation that members of the African American community always state how unfairly they are treated. As a hispanic man, I do not think white people are always portrayed as better. Never have and never will. We have a nation of African American moviestars, elected officals, poets, writers, and scientists. Are their bad apples and stereotypes in every race, yes. Yet, their seems to be a preoccupation among the African American community to not embrace and recognize the growth and change of our culture. Rather, a preference to continue to feel victimized from the past and view the world with a lens looking for signs of malevolence.

    Its kind of sad. This country offers so much opportunity for all people.
  • highinsight

    Posts: 11

    May 30, 2013 6:52 AM GMT
    I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm by no means trying to play the victim. I understand your logic, but I was raised around white people, I was in honors / AP classes and was the only black person just about my whole life, so, no, black members in my community didn't push these ideas on me. These are things that I experience everyday. If you really analyze television shows, political figures, movies, etc, it'll be clear. For example, Hollister has like only white models, and that's one of the more popular shopping stores. In the news they quickly report black people committing crimes, but white people doing something charitable.Of course there is good and bad in every race, but it feels to me that they try to emphasize the bad in mine specifically. I acknowledge that you're also a minority but you're not at the "bottom." There's clearly an hierarchy- white on top, black at the bottom.

  • May 30, 2013 3:59 PM GMT
    It's not racist at all to have a preference for Sex.

    I don't get why people get offended when they see ads/profiles that only seek certain type of "people".

    Some guys like chubby (me!), some guys only like thin/fit.

    Some guys like white, some like blacks and some only like asians.

    Who the fuck you think you are to judge WHAT THEY LIKE? Stop playing the race card. Yup, some don't like asians that much and you know what I do? I skip the ad. Big fucking deal.

    This world doesn't revolve around you and there are other people that like asians. I am not going to send him a private message and tell him that he is a racist. lol I have better things to do in life than arguing about WHAT THAT PERSON LIKES. He likes what he likes... what's the argue about?

    Nope. Not a racism at all and trust me, there are plenty of people who are not attracted to asians like me. But you know what? There are plenty of people who like asians too!
  • The_Guruburu

    Posts: 895

    May 30, 2013 4:33 PM GMT
    Isugemi said
    ataraxia saidi always thought preference can change with environment + time

    not attracted to a certain race? try living in a new country filled with said race, live with them for 1+ years, and lets see how your preferences change.

    there should be some scholarly research on this...but probably too wide scale to perform.


    That is so true! It happened to me. Like many white europeans, I used to find asians not attractive. Then I tried living in Japan and "discovered" the Asian beauty. Now I think I can say I prefer Asian than whites.

    For me, racial preferences are not individual racism, but a natural consequence of a racist society (and ALL the societies in the world are more or less racist).
    I realized that I used to not like Asians because french society or french medias had never shown me what a "beautiful asian" was. The only Asians we see on TV are caricatural ugly clowns and that is the only acceptable image we have (no wonder why PSY's gangnam style was such a success in the West). Then I discovered a society that showed me handsome asian men. I didn't take too long for me to be attracted to them.

    The opposite exists in Japan : the medias show asian beauty and white beauty (via american culture) so most of the people there say they like Asians and Whites. But many don't find Blacks attractive. Because you almost never see handsome black people on TV or in the magazines there.


    This is spot on. I find that with a little digging, the explanations for why guys exclude certain races (or "prefer" others) invariably include some level of gross stereotyping that is a common trope in their society.

    It boggles my mind that so many guys here think it's purely coincidence that their racial "preferences" map so neatly with racial stereotypes and which races are revered/disparaged in their society.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    May 30, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    im obsessed with Asians.


    All my rice queens, holla! lolz jk
  • highinsight

    Posts: 11

    May 30, 2013 7:23 PM GMT
    leo23 said
    whatever3009 saidi personally dont have a preference, attractive people exist in all races, however in my personal opinion some races have larger number of attractive men (as per my definition of attractive) and some a little less. i also believe that you have less of a control on what you are attracted to.


    +1

    Some men are so perfect with their words.


    Sure, it sounds nice, but you can't really quantify how many attractive people are in each race because what's considered to be attractive should be relative. Of course, we all know that gays go for one type of guy...
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    May 30, 2013 8:05 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe difference between preference and racism is that preference only excludes based on one's personal idea of attractiveness, while racism excludes based on one's misunderstanding of a particular race.

    Either/or misunderstanding or lack of understanding. icon_razz.gif