How can church meet your needs?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 28, 2013 2:40 PM GMT
    One of the things that has impressed me in some of the threads is the extent to which the gay community (rightly, I would add) distrusts organized religion. As a member of an inclusive denomination that is working for full rights for GLBT persons, my question is: "What would you like to see from us? If you were to visit my parish, what could we do to show that you are welcome and we want you to be part of things?"

    Thanks for your help with this, guys.
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    May 28, 2013 9:44 PM GMT
    Oh I have a few suggestions on what the church could do but I'll just offer up a polite one instead.

    How about stop proselytizing, especially to a community you've ravaged.
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    May 31, 2013 1:45 PM GMT
    Given that my denomination fully supports LGBT equality, this sort of ad hominem attack helps no one. If the LGBT community attacks its allies without cause, then it should not be surprised when its allies no longer support it.

    And just for the record, we don't "proselytize." We do things like operate hospitals and food pantries, so there is no reason you should have an issue with anything we do.

    Beyond that, I am sorry you have had such negative experiences with organized faith.
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    May 31, 2013 3:41 PM GMT
    DCTallJock saidGiven that my denomination fully supports LGBT equality, this sort of ad hominem attack helps no one. If the LGBT community attacks its allies without cause, then it should not be surprised when its allies no longer support it.

    And just for the record, we don't "proselytize." We do things like operate hospitals and food pantries, so there is no reason you should have an issue with anything we do.

    Beyond that, I am sorry you have had such negative experiences with organized faith.


    Since when is history (including up to the present, mind you) ad hominem?

    If you think that saying "If you were to visit my parish, what could we do to show that you are welcome and we want you to be part of things?" is not proselytizing then you are even more delusional than I originally suspected.

    As to that lame apology--as I don't believe you sorry for me but that you are sorry your religion doesn't get my tithing--I wasn't thinking about me how you think about saving your own soul by doing what you perceive as good works. My parents were humanists so I was born accepted into this world. My thoughts went out to those born into and abandoned by their religious families. Empathy and compassion thrive perfectly fine without religion.

    Religion doesn't get the honor of fixing what it broke. We will mend ourselves without your superior posturing of shame.
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    May 31, 2013 4:30 PM GMT
    How can church meet your needs?
    I don't need Church, Church needs people, it survives by feeding people with false education.
    It acts exactly the opposite way it should be.
    Not a single church I've seen lives the way it should be.

    A church should live for the people, instead it makes people live for the church.
    Many people think church is the reason that they are living happily in the midst of pain. but very few realize that the church itself is the cause of pain and their happiness is just an illusion.

    I would like to see more of the teachings of morals that are gospels and less of the teachings that promote personal desires.
    As a visitor to your perish, I can feel more welcomed when your church not only speak the truth but also lives in it. When one lives on the true path he/she is already making others part of them.

    I hope it helps, sorry if my views are rude...but they are actually the truth.

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 31, 2013 4:30 PM GMT
    By realizing that The Bible is fiction.icon_wink.gif
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    May 31, 2013 7:35 PM GMT
    DCTallJock saidOne of the things that has impressed me in some of the threads is the extent to which the gay community (rightly, I would add) distrusts organized religion. As a member of an inclusive denomination that is working for full rights for GLBT persons, my question is: "What would you like to see from us? If you were to visit my parish, what could we do to show that you are welcome and we want you to be part of things?"

    Thanks for your help with this, guys.


    Be as vocal as possible for Marriage Equality.
    And as vocal as possible for anti-discrimination laws.
    Work for social justice.
    Be completely transparent with your church finances.
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    Jun 01, 2013 2:45 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidBy realizing that The Bible is fiction.icon_wink.gif


    LOL. I don't believe it to be fiction, but like most Episcopalians, I don't believe it is literal, either. I also try to avoid speculation about things it doesn't discuss--for instance, it says very little about an afterlife. And nowhere does Jesus say anything about gay marriage, so I don't think there is any biblical reason not to support two adult persons in a committed relationship.

    The sad thing is the extent to which Christianity over the millennium has been used as an excuse for oppression and intolerance. At the same time, it is sad that so many members of the GLBT community think all Christians are that way.

    I'm also proud of the things we do that are good in the world. For instance, my parish feeds more than 500 persons every week, day in and day out. We operate a homeless shelter, feed folks at another homeless shelter, assist persons with AIDS, and bless same-gender relationships (sadly, same-sex marriage is still illegal here in VA, so we can't marry same-gender couples, but we would be happy to do so if it were legal here.)

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    Jun 01, 2013 10:18 PM GMT
    I used to go to a baptist church that welcomed gays but they couldn't become members. I quit the church on principle. On the other hand I've been to gay churches that I liked but didn't quite feel comfortable there either. I think you have to be partnered to really enjoy the church. I found one church here in LA area that for some reason was 80 percent lesbian with a female lesbian pastor the rest were male couples that were predominantly- white and mexican couplings. The rest were straight singles or couples. I will probably never find that right church for me being a bi - single guy.
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    Jun 02, 2013 4:25 PM GMT
    DCTallJock saidOne of the things that has impressed me in some of the threads is the extent to which the gay community (rightly, I would add) distrusts organized religion. As a member of an inclusive denomination that is working for full rights for GLBT persons, my question is: "What would you like to see from us? If you were to visit my parish, what could we do to show that you are welcome and we want you to be part of things?"

    Thanks for your help with this, guys.


    I think this is a great topic, but posted on the wrong website because from what I've seen here most of the people who will respond will write pre-programmed standard "gay hate towards religion" type of replies (as we've already seen).

    As for what could your parish do to welcome gays, I would say just keep doing what you're doing, realizing that most gays will have a completely knee-jerk reaction against any religion - completely based on emotion and not facts - so your success rate with gays will be rather low.
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    Jun 03, 2013 12:22 AM GMT
    CallMeAnytime said, " I would say just keep doing what you're doing, realizing that most gays will have a completely knee-jerk reaction against any religion - completely based on emotion and not facts.."

    So you think, but that doesn't mean it's true (and it isn't).
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 03, 2013 3:12 PM GMT
    DCTallJock said
    HottJoe saidBy realizing that The Bible is fiction.icon_wink.gif


    LOL. I don't believe it to be fiction, but like most Episcopalians, I don't believe it is literal, either. I also try to avoid speculation about things it doesn't discuss--for instance, it says very little about an afterlife. And nowhere does Jesus say anything about gay marriage, so I don't think there is any biblical reason not to support two adult persons in a committed relationship.

    The sad thing is the extent to which Christianity over the millennium has been used as an excuse for oppression and intolerance. At the same time, it is sad that so many members of the GLBT community think all Christians are that way.

    I'm also proud of the things we do that are good in the world. For instance, my parish feeds more than 500 persons every week, day in and day out. We operate a homeless shelter, feed folks at another homeless shelter, assist persons with AIDS, and bless same-gender relationships (sadly, same-sex marriage is still illegal here in VA, so we can't marry same-gender couples, but we would be happy to do so if it were legal here.)



    It's a delusion of mass hysteria
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    Free all-you-can-eat buffet with prime rib and shrimp?
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    Jun 04, 2013 3:49 AM GMT
    turbobilly saidFree all-you-can-eat buffet with prime rib and shrimp?


    You would have loved Kiddush after Saturday services at my temple.

    There were tables of this stuff...
    sponsorkiddush.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2013 1:51 PM GMT
    turbobilly saidFree all-you-can-eat buffet with prime rib and shrimp?


    As long as we include my vegetarian option, game on! icon_twisted.gif
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    Jun 07, 2013 1:54 PM GMT
    CallMeAnytime said
    DCTallJock saidOne of the things that has impressed me in some of the threads is the extent to which the gay community (rightly, I would add) distrusts organized religion. As a member of an inclusive denomination that is working for full rights for GLBT persons, my question is: "What would you like to see from us? If you were to visit my parish, what could we do to show that you are welcome and we want you to be part of things?"

    Thanks for your help with this, guys.


    I think this is a great topic, but posted on the wrong website because from what I've seen here most of the people who will respond will write pre-programmed standard "gay hate towards religion" type of replies (as we've already seen).

    As for what could your parish do to welcome gays, I would say just keep doing what you're doing, realizing that most gays will have a completely knee-jerk reaction against any religion - completely based on emotion and not facts - so your success rate with gays will be rather low.


    That is the nice thing about the uber-conservative Catholic diocese of Arlington--we are having some real success swiping its gay members. ;-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2013 8:58 PM GMT
    DCTallJock saidHow can church meet your needs?
    Less choir boys. More hot naked men who can sing.
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Jun 09, 2013 4:55 PM GMT
    Maybe you could organize a group. It could be something that's not part of the actual service, more like a weekday night type thing. A weekly or monthly meeting where other gay church members can get to know each other and discuss issues specific to being gay and Christian might be a pretty cool way to show them they're welcome.
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    Jun 14, 2013 1:04 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    DCTallJock saidHow can church meet your needs?
    Less choir boys. More hot naked men who can sing.


    LOL. I am signing you up ;-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2013 1:06 PM GMT
    great_scott saidMaybe you could organize a group. It could be something that's not part of the actual service, more like a weekday night type thing. A weekly or monthly meeting where other gay church members can get to know each other and discuss issues specific to being gay and Christian might be a pretty cool way to show them they're welcome.


    We've been doing something like that, which we kiddingly refer to as our "Lavender Lunches." All go out after church, have brunch, hang out, and just enjoy being together. We're getting a surprising number of straight folks, too--they say that the food, fashion, and convo are better ;-)
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    Jun 29, 2013 4:59 PM GMT
    Meanwhile, guys, here's the video of the Washington National Cathedral's bells pealing in celebration of the Supreme Court ruling on DOMA:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/26/washington-national-cathedral-doma_n_3503730.html?utm_hp_ref=religion
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jun 29, 2013 9:39 PM GMT
    There are so many gay priests, why should they live in shame??? Many turn to alcohol. NOT to be confused with pedophiles-there are plenty of them as well. We need to be,as a people, accepting that being gay is not a sin or a mental disorder. Pedophilia is a mental disorder and a sin to it's victims !! I feel priests should be able to marry if they wish and to whomever they wish. This would probably cause a major return to religion and the church. Greek orthodox priests marry. NO I'm not Greek.

    I think some of the above has turned many away from the church for good.
    DC I do agree that if the bible is taken to it's literal form it is very dangerous to all of mankind.

    Leviticus "man should not lie with another man as they do woman. I believe this was written to preserve birth of children. The same reason some Jews do not eat pork it was to preserve life. Many died from under cooked pork. These rules were ancient and put forth to preserve life.

    Another "it is better for a man to bury his seed in the belly of a whore than to let it hit the ground."

    If you take that literally churches should have whore houses in back!!!???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2013 9:50 PM GMT
    I can believe in God but church almost destroyed me with its empire building and cultic ways. I gave 20 years of my life to church and walked away deeply scarred and wounded .
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    Jul 16, 2013 5:21 AM GMT
    DCTallJock saidOne of the things that has impressed me in some of the threads is the extent to which the gay community (rightly, I would add) distrusts organized religion. As a member of an inclusive denomination that is working for full rights for GLBT persons, my question is: "What would you like to see from us? If you were to visit my parish, what could we do to show that you are welcome and we want you to be part of things?"

    Thanks for your help with this, guys.


    Great question, I think you also have to distinguish those that are "seeking'' versus those are already Christians and seeking a home.

    I would always love my Episcopalians brothers and have a special admiration in my heart for them, I left the Catholic Church seeking the truth, they were loving, accepting never overbearing, to seek the word of God and through God's blessing came to him, I then journey to the Baptist realm, its hard to find a church even in the Bay Area that is GLBT, there many factors from how healthy the church is, its mission, its community reach, its support group to all groups, its music, but most important how members treat each other.

    I think some member stated here best - continue to reach out to the LGBT community in love, the main point is that Christ above all cherished relationships and the center of the message is that a relationship. This is what gets lost in organized religion.