Abroad lover

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 28, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    Hi all,

    So I have been studying in Antwerp for the past 4-5 months. I met this awesome guy from Rotterdam,Barry about a month ago. We hit things off quickly because we: Both found each other extremely sexy, a ton of things in common (sport, music, fitness etc). I made a trip to his place for two nights and he recently came down to Antwerp for one night.

    The issues that I am going through: I leave Antwerp in two days and the L word has been dropped sincerely on his part. I don't think the L word was dropped fast because the feeling is mutual and developed, (I think)....
    He is 42 (doesn't act or look) and we both want to see each other again.

    I have consider staying in Europe and working, just to see where this could lead. I am in my last year of studies at my University and wouldn't miss out on that, obviously. However, I really want to see where this could go.

    Advice?

    Thank you
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 29, 2013 2:21 AM GMT
    Go for it, while you're young and before you start to really focus on your career
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    May 29, 2013 2:49 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 saidGo for it, while you're young and before you start to really focus on your career


    +1. If you can get a job in your chosen career and keep it going with this guy, why not?
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    May 29, 2013 4:42 AM GMT
    You have nothing to lose if it does not workout the sea has plenty of fish still?
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    May 29, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    muscjckguy saidHi all,

    So I have been studying in Antwerp for the past 4-5 months. I met this awesome guy from Rotterdam,Barry about a month ago. We hit things off quickly because we: Both found each other extremely sexy, a ton of things in common (sport, music, fitness etc). I made a trip to his place for two nights and he recently came down to Antwerp for one night.

    The issues that I am going through: I leave Antwerp in two days and the L word has been dropped sincerely on his part. I don't think the L word was dropped fast because the feeling is mutual and developed, (I think)....
    He is 42 (doesn't act or look) and we both want to see each other again.

    I have consider staying in Europe and working, just to see where this could lead. I am in my last year of studies at my University and wouldn't miss out on that, obviously. However, I really want to see where this could go.

    Advice?

    Thank you


    I hope your not staying because he's white. Dude the guy is older then you and your career is waiting. You will find white guys everywhere.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2013 9:18 AM GMT
    Well, consider how language affects it all. It's very hard to find a job in Belgium if you don't speak both French and Dutch, or at least either one depending on the region - so Dutch in your case. Same applies for Netherlands. Unless you wanna work in Brussels, and there you could find more chances.
    But consider how realistic is that, and then keep your love by your side!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2013 10:34 AM GMT
    Take your rear end back to school and finish whatever is left. The level of career options increase a bit once you have the paper. If the relationship is good, it will survive the separation. IMO moving across distances for a man always changes the dynamic of the relationship - not for the best most times.
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    May 29, 2013 10:40 AM GMT
    desert_hero said
    muscjckguy saidHi all,

    So I have been studying in Antwerp for the past 4-5 months. I met this awesome guy from Rotterdam,Barry about a month ago. We hit things off quickly because we: Both found each other extremely sexy, a ton of things in common (sport, music, fitness etc). I made a trip to his place for two nights and he recently came down to Antwerp for one night.

    The issues that I am going through: I leave Antwerp in two days and the L word has been dropped sincerely on his part. I don't think the L word was dropped fast because the feeling is mutual and developed, (I think)....
    He is 42 (doesn't act or look) and we both want to see each other again.

    I have consider staying in Europe and working, just to see where this could lead. I am in my last year of studies at my University and wouldn't miss out on that, obviously. However, I really want to see where this could go.

    Advice?

    Thank you


    I hope your not staying because he's white. Dude the guy is older then you and your career is waiting. You will find white guys everywhere.


    No where in my writing did I state he was white.

    The majority of the responses think I should go for it, since I am young and before my career starts. I completely agree with that. I will for sure, graduate from my University before making moves.

    Far as working in Belgium, this is true. Dutch and French are the languages, however any bulge bracket firm will have english speakers within it. I am still going to think about this. Just tough, cause this is the first time I have fell for ANYone (besides my family haha). Yes I know there is more fish in the sea and I should probably be more keen on looking for what is in Chicago/Milwaukee instead.
  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Jun 03, 2013 8:56 PM GMT
    desert_hero said
    muscjckguy saidHi all,

    So I have been studying in Antwerp for the past 4-5 months. I met this awesome guy from Rotterdam,Barry about a month ago. We hit things off quickly because we: Both found each other extremely sexy, a ton of things in common (sport, music, fitness etc). I made a trip to his place for two nights and he recently came down to Antwerp for one night.

    The issues that I am going through: I leave Antwerp in two days and the L word has been dropped sincerely on his part. I don't think the L word was dropped fast because the feeling is mutual and developed, (I think)....
    He is 42 (doesn't act or look) and we both want to see each other again.

    I have consider staying in Europe and working, just to see where this could lead. I am in my last year of studies at my University and wouldn't miss out on that, obviously. However, I really want to see where this could go.

    Advice?

    Thank you


    I hope your not staying because he's white. Dude the guy is older then you and your career is waiting. You will find white guys everywhere.


    Haha, where did this come from?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2013 9:27 PM GMT
    Such big decisions are best not made hastily. You have left Antwerp for (somewhere in the US?)? For another year of study?

    You have spent a couple nights together, so not a terribly long time in which to get to know all about each other.

    You are young, and have lots of time to make career plans and changes. Take a year off, and stay in euorpe perhaps? Take a year off after graduating?

    Rotterdam is in the Netherlands, yet you write of living in Belgium. Would he want to move to Belgium? Do you want to emigrate to the Netherlands? I have known a couple guys who moved to the Netherlands, but they were older, and really wanted to live there. Do you want to learn and become fluent in Dutch?

    Maybe if after you develop a real relationship with this guy (long distance with visits?), he would consider moving to the states. If Scalia and the supremes invalidate DOMA, that would then be a possibility.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2013 9:29 PM GMT
    Don't over think it. Follow your heart.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jun 03, 2013 9:34 PM GMT
    I'm not sure I understand the situation. Do you finish your degree this summer? If so, and you have no firm plans, why not stick around there and see how it works out?
    If not, finish your studies and see how things develop. My current husband and I did the LTR thing for 18 months before we lived together. We met back in September 1995 so our feelings were pretty intense. Intense enough to overcome the physical distance and the cultural divide.