Is it better to date or just have sex?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2007 1:29 AM GMT
    I know that ive perferred sex over dating but over time it gets old doesnt it? maybey its just me or its because i havent had a boyfriend in a while. what do yall think?
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    Mar 18, 2007 2:45 PM GMT
    there isn't a perfect answer that fits everyone.

    have free sex with whomever? get married? have a casual relationship? ... i can't tell you.

    all i will ask is that you be up front with someone if you choose to start a relationship with them. be honest with your past and your pattern of desire and explain what you think you want.

    don't get hitched with a guy then start cheating on him. it hurts like hell and he doesn't deserve it. if you [may] want to keep playing the field [with or without your partner], make that clear from the beginning before expectations are defined.

    just imagine how crushed you would be if you fell head over heels for someone which changed your entire outlook on life and found out they didn't share your passion and wanted someone else's cock?

    honesty is the magic that makes all the pieces fit together sooo smoothly.

    in parting, sometimes falling in love can be the most profound thing that ever happened to you and it's crazy amazing how the sexiest guy ever in the world doesn't even get a second look from you. at least during the honeymoon ;)
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    Mar 18, 2007 4:49 PM GMT
    I like to finish up a great date WITH sex!!!
    :o)
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Mar 18, 2007 9:33 PM GMT
    FirefighterBlu3, Very TRUE and profund!

    I have mostly had Long term realtionships and it certainly is a levl above sex only partying, BUT does require work AND it is worth it.
    PLEASE do be honest and try to gauge what is best for YOU and be honest with potential partners.
    Great Advice guys!

    -- Ron
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    Mar 18, 2007 10:36 PM GMT
    Firefigher I agree with you 100%
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    Mar 19, 2007 12:10 AM GMT
    I agree with musclebucket
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    Mar 19, 2007 1:02 AM GMT
    well... a great date followed with great sex? oh please, lord no! the horrors!!

    (quickly grabs mr. date's jeans and puts them on commando before hiding him and answering the roommate at the door)

    :-D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2007 3:37 AM GMT
    Someone once told me:

    Relationships and "falling in love."

    You can't chase after it. If it is not there, you cannot make one up.

    You can't hide from it either. If it heading your way, it will hit you like a brick.

    It comes when it comes, ready or not.


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    Mar 19, 2007 4:05 AM GMT
    If I had to choose one or the other, I'd prefer to date.

    Oh yeah... and ask me again when I'm super horny, I might give another answer.
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Mar 19, 2007 7:26 AM GMT
    I fall squarely in the relationship camp. If it's just an orgasm I want, I know how to do that by myself (in fact, I have many years of practice!) The value of sex, for me, is that it's manifesting / acting out this intimate relationship I have, and at the same time it also helps build the intimacy; it's a nice little feedback loop. So if I sleep with someone I don't know and where I don't see a potential close relationship, it's kind of just masturbating. I think there's a component of denial to it, too, like it's searching for this intimacy and pretending it's there with a stranger, when really it's not, and delusion just means suffering later.

    I mean, I can't speak for others, we're all different, of course - that's just how it feels to me. I know plenty of people who have very different views of sex and get totally different things out of it. To each his own!
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    Mar 21, 2007 5:35 AM GMT
    It would be better if you would start on a date. I don't want to have just sex. It's really cheapshot! It's better if you know someone first before you do any stuff with him. It's just a matter of RESPECT.
  • christomax

    Posts: 30

    Mar 23, 2007 4:37 PM GMT
    I've always been the bf type. Except when I'm single and horny...but then I go to my laptop, find something stimulating...consider maybe hooking up for a little help...then I get myself so worked up at the thought that I just finish the job myself...then realize I'm glad I didn't actually go meet someone.

    It's a whole big thing. lol
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    Apr 11, 2007 4:53 AM GMT
    very interesting and informative...i myself have always been a relationship oriented kinda guy. the one nighter is just so empty and unfulfilling....as horny as I maybe at times, sex alone is just not satisfying compare to making love to that special guy you have a connection with. as corny as it may sound...it's magical.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Apr 11, 2007 5:53 AM GMT
    While I can (and do) get going at the drop of a hat...I've found I'm also more of a relationship guy, for several reasons.

    The most important one is the kiss.

    When I have sex, there's nothing that can drive me so incredibly over the edge than someone I can kiss deeply, hold their lip between mine, feel their breath as they try and remain controlled, and just hold onto them, as close as I can and feel them do the same to me.

    I've had a lot of sex over the years, but the only ones you can have that kind of a kiss with are partners, in every sense of the word.
    Mind you, I'm just coming out of a relationship, but even so....I still find one-nighters to be hollow. Not something I'm 'completely' opposed to mind you, but not something I'm hunting for. Whatever happens happens, but I would (and mostly do) turn down one-nighters in the hopes that this one will turn out to be the guy that comes back for more of my mind, and less of my body.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 12, 2007 1:14 AM GMT
    I have a rule of ...er..thumb :)

    If I see some potential in a guy
    to possibly wanna see him again sometime
    I'll hold off on the sex...
    because if you start a relationship out with sex then everytime you get together thats what its gonna be for

    It's always harder to backtrack back into dating mode after you've had sex with him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2007 2:06 AM GMT
    Just sex for me right now.....
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    Apr 12, 2007 5:33 AM GMT
    I'm looking at a sexual connection in a positive way and leaving all the blushing flowers and rules and regulations and compartments aside. A nice time had by two people should always come with no strings, even when you get married. Leave your bag of shit outside the bedroom and let's get naked and go somewhere together.

    If we wake up tomorrow and want to do it again, we will. If we want to see one another in a couple days, we will. If we want to go to dinner, we will. There's something to be said for organic chemistry. Things always seem to head south whenever I, or my buddies thing about things too much. I sometimes need to trust the universe more.
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    Apr 16, 2007 9:55 PM GMT
    Think about it! This question should have been files under the STI's and HIV/AIDS section of the forums. I would hope that if you have sex with anybody, you get to know them a bit first and ask questions about thier past!

    I have watched documentaries on Bath Houses and most people don't even know what the person looks like that they are having sex with. Come on you can't be that hard up!
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Apr 25, 2007 12:58 AM GMT
    I would KILL for a date. Seriously ... I haven't been on a date in over a year.

    Granted ... I have gone on biking and hiking type of dates, but seriously ... it's been awhile. :)

    I may need some dating tips besides me dishing out tips all the time.

    I can't get a date.
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    May 04, 2007 4:23 AM GMT
    my experience is that one-night stands are nameless and empty,-futile. i'm all for a relationship, even if it never works out. --save the sex for later, if there is a later... .
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    May 04, 2007 5:26 AM GMT
    hey guys... i just wanna say that sex complicates things... like u didnt already know,.. but its best to wait cause if u really like the person and think its gonna go somewhere its best to leave sex out of the picture for a bit.. now i like sex a lot and usually i go on a date and take him home and have sex.. he goes home the next morning, but thats cause i usually find guys that are not going anywhere for me and i just wanna get whats needed before they leave.. but i hop that it will change on this site so i can meet my love...
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    Apr 29, 2008 2:26 AM GMT
    I think being in a relationship can make sex better. You both have a chance to get to really know one another and learn what one another likes and dislikes. In a relationship the other person is more apt to try to please you than to just meet their own sexual needs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2008 2:36 AM GMT
    Sex get old? Ummm, no!
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    Apr 29, 2008 3:23 AM GMT
    icon_question.gificon_question.gificon_question.gif

    If dating, I would assume you are attracted and just not going thru the motions [for sex].


    THUS...


    I think SEX, pure plain dirty pleasure, with one you love could never get old.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2008 3:33 AM GMT
    TOFUSTUD saidI'm looking at a sexual connection in a positive way and leaving all the blushing flowers and rules and regulations and compartments aside. A nice time had by two people should always come with no strings, even when you get married. Leave your bag of shit outside the bedroom and let's get naked and go somewhere together.

    If we wake up tomorrow and want to do it again, we will. If we want to see one another in a couple days, we will. If we want to go to dinner, we will. There's something to be said for organic chemistry. Things always seem to head south whenever I, or my buddies thing about things too much. I sometimes need to trust the universe more.


    ...Yeah organic chemistry sucks!!!! It took up my entire summer. All I ever did was study! tongue.gif