Over 400 Ex-Gay Survivors Share Details Of Their Experience Trying To Change Their Orientation

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    May 30, 2013 11:46 PM GMT
    http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/05/30/2079511/ex-gay-survivors/?mobile=nc
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    May 31, 2013 12:32 AM GMT
    Let me tell you the story of a BF I had in Seattle, who fell into this "SOCE" trap.

    He was a 35-year-old Microsoft team manager in Redmond, Washington, his project in 1997 being Windows NT. He lived alone in a beautiful spacious new house, with all the boy toys. SUV, motorcycle, home gym, grand piano, etc, a bathroom the size of a living room with a hot tub big enough for a party, and of course the most powerful computer setup available.

    But his motorcycle wasn't running, so when I first met him at a gay house party I offered to see what I could do to fix it, having training as a mechanic. It was a model I'd owned just before my current bike, and when I visited his house I did indeed get it running like a clock. As my reward we had sex immediately, and for the next several months we began to ride our bikes together and camp in my RV, go out to dinner, have sex regularly and do all the BF stuff.

    But I sensed he had an inner conflict, something he was hiding from me, and he talked about his family objecting to the idea of his being gay, especially his mother. Then one day, out of nowhere, he told me he had quit Microsoft, sold his house and all his possessions, and had voluntarily admitted himself to a gay reprogramming community in California, of his family's choosing. Naturally I was stunned.

    In the months following I'd get a few terse e-mails from him, all prohibited, as was all contact with his former life. This commune had him writing commercial software, the profits of which went to the community, he received nothing himself. He said whenever he left the grounds he was accompanied by a chaperone, to monitor his activities, and all his correspondence and e-mail were screened.

    But with his computer expertise he was able to "smuggle" some Internet messages in & out. At the same time he asked me to be discreet and non-revealing in my replies, to pretend I was just an ordinary friend, not gay, in case they did get intercepted.

    And then the messages stopped in 1998. After that I relocated from Seattle myself, and I never heard from him again. I do wonder whatever happened to him. And did he scam me (though his house was definitely sold), how much of this could have been true. I even flirted with the idea that I might have turned him straight! How awful would THAT guilt be?

    But I've since read about these conversion programs, and maybe that's what did happen to him. I wonder where he is today? Would his story be one of those mentioned on that link?
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    May 31, 2013 12:37 AM GMT
    That's sad. Did you know his last name so you can find him FB or google him where is?
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    May 31, 2013 12:45 AM GMT
    Turin saidThat's sad. Did you know his last name so you can find him FB or google him where is?

    His last name I forget, but I may have it in my contacts, when I transferred all my old Palm stuff over to iPhone. I never delete a contact, and they go back that far, even earlier. I should make that a project, though it's way over a thousand contacts. icon_razz.gif

    Edit: OK, he has an uncommon first name, so I searched all my contacts on that, and got zero hits. icon_sad.gif

    So I guess it wasn't retained in my records for whatever reason. I'll just have to do a little meditation, to see if his last name will come to me.
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    May 31, 2013 12:52 AM GMT
    I attended a group therapy session for recovering gays when I came out to my family. It was mainly just to appease them.
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    May 31, 2013 12:56 AM GMT
    My mom suggested that I attend ex-gay therapy last year. I told her - word for word - "go fuck yourself, you hateful bitch!"

    We still talk, but I will resent her for the rest of her life and laugh at her funeral unless she changes her beliefs.
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    May 31, 2013 1:00 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidMy mom suggested that I attend ex-gay therapy last year. I told her - word for word - "go fuck yourself, you hateful bitch!"

    We still talk, but I will resent her for the rest of her life and laugh at her funeral unless she changes her beliefs.


    Damn Paul... That's not niceicon_eek.gif
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    May 31, 2013 1:06 AM GMT
    Turin said
    paulflexes saidMy mom suggested that I attend ex-gay therapy last year. I told her - word for word - "go fuck yourself, you hateful bitch!"

    We still talk, but I will resent her for the rest of her life and laugh at her funeral unless she changes her beliefs.

    Damn Paul... That's not nice icon_eek.gif

    Is telling a 42-year-old-son he should enter gay reparative therapy also "nice"? And knowing Paul personally, I've heard some of his family stories. Difficult to judge a man if you haven't stood in his shoes. icon_confused.gif
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    May 31, 2013 1:07 AM GMT
    Turin said
    paulflexes saidMy mom suggested that I attend ex-gay therapy last year. I told her - word for word - "go fuck yourself, you hateful bitch!"

    We still talk, but I will resent her for the rest of her life and laugh at her funeral unless she changes her beliefs.


    Damn Paul... That's not niceicon_eek.gif
    Neither is being out of the closet for 21 years and having a mom who still thinks you're going to hell for the way you were born.

    As far as I'm concerned, she can go rot in hell herself as long as I get my inheritance so I can enjoy the rest of my life in peace.
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    May 31, 2013 2:35 AM GMT
    There used to be a show about Catholic News on PBS years ago. They had a segment on a program they were running for gay men who wanted to go straight. I was surprised when they admitted they had a ZERO percent success rate.
    This is why I get do angry when people who don't like gays say gays could change if they wanted to. The evidence today is overwhelming that a people cannot willingly change their sexual orientation.

    I don't know how to say it the right way but I feel terrible for you guys. A parent's disapproval is devastating to bear. When I told my parents I was gay years ago, it was so bad that I told them I was mistaken. I wasn't strong enough to handle it and what I knew they'd put me through in the name of their perception of love.
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    May 31, 2013 6:39 AM GMT
    so that's whats happening in the 'developed' AMERICA ?
    great,
    halleluYEAH
    im far more superior to these faggots ,who never knew what god meants them to understand , That he loves them just the way they are.

    Imagine ,a boy living in IRAQ (where everyone knows what happens to gays !), trying to contribute to muslim & christian people of mid-east origin ,trying to make them accept themselves , with fear that i might be killed or shot or beheaded anytime im tracked by officials,??
    !

    i am Gay & a Christian Evangelist & yes a mid-eastern man,
    but when i compare myself with the educated ,modernized , calculated ,rich, protestant / catholic evangelists of US , i AM zillion times more special to god for doin' his will to gather his LGBT children (in nations where we are beheaded daily ) , & these mothafuckin' losers are killing humanity for the selfish & coward deeds of sinning against what god naturally made u -----> a Homosexual.
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    May 31, 2013 6:49 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidMy mom suggested that I attend ex-gay therapy last year. I told her - word for word - "go fuck yourself, you hateful bitch!"

    We still talk, but I will resent her for the rest of her life and laugh at her funeral unless she changes her beliefs.


    i don't quite know your past story, but hate isnt the solution of hate , just do the good & the best-est & leave everything on its on , be happy about what you did & don't worry what others think, EVER
    always refrain from hating back

    she's your mother afterall ,she raised you , u should rather loose out on those people who brainwash innocent people to believe gay - ism is a sin
    not a mother who is ransacked by christian/muslim thugs to believe thier hate , she wants you to better yourself , any mother would do that for the benefit of her son , coz they hate preachers dont attack gays directly they make the society to break u emotionally & make u succumb to thier practice, u getting it ?
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    May 31, 2013 7:11 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]MadeinMich said[/cite]
    Turin said
    paulflexes saidMy mom suggested that I attend ex-gay therapy last year. I told her - word for word - "go fuck yourself, you hateful bitch!"

    We still talk, but I will resent her for the rest of her life and laugh at her funeral unless she changes her beliefs.


    Damn Paul... That's not niceicon_eek.gif


    I'm kind of on Paul's side with that. But having said that, having a black mama, had I said something like that to her I would probably end up looking something like this. quote]

    Only-God-Forgives14.jpeg