do you ever wonder if your (big) enough?

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    Mar 18, 2007 1:41 AM GMT
    if youve ever had sex with a guy or gotten a blow job or even a hand job youve probably thought about the size of your dick i know everyones done it but is it a good thing or a bad thing?
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    Mar 18, 2007 11:05 PM GMT
    OMG, you've only got 9 inches??

    Sorry, couldn't resist. I actually wrote my doctoral dissertation about the obsession with size in popular culture. (It's not the actual topic but it is the issue I examined in order to demonstrate a rapprochement between some competing discourses. No, really.)

    Anyway, it's not only natural to wonder about size, the issue has a long and glorious history that differs from culture to culture. The ancient Greeks, for example, liked relatively small ones, while the Romans liked big ones. Interestingly, too, when a culture tends to value big ones, it also is usually grappling with the issue of homosexuality.

    The Romans, for example, thought the Greeks' same-sex play was vile and produced the world's first novel, Satyricon, about the cult of the hugely hung god Priapus. At the turn of the last century, when Oscar Wilde was a figure of public disgrace, a translation of Satyricon, was circulating, as well as illustrations by Aubrey Beardsley of huge cocks for another project. Around the time of the Stonewall Rebellion, Fellini made his own film of Satyricon. And when gay marriage became an issue, several films with tropes about big cocks -- Boogie Nights and Magnolia -- were released.

    I could go on. For over 300 pages. Do you want to know more?

    Hello? Hello?

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    Mar 18, 2007 11:05 PM GMT
    Be happy with what God gave you!

    Be happy - you have one!

    Best toy I ever had!

    The grass always look greener on the other side of the fence, well in this case longer!

    Not happy with it - look at the forum on penis exercises!

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    Mar 18, 2007 11:08 PM GMT
    Obscenewish

    Take the banana out of your mouth and keep going, very interesting!
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    Mar 19, 2007 3:01 AM GMT
    i think a lot of guys have gone through that and a few of my straight mates never fail to ask me what i thought was an average sized dick, just out of curiosity of course hahaha.

    if the person you're with doesn't complain, it's all good and even if you're not sizing up by your standards, you're definitely shouldn't be worried cos your technique would seem to make up for it.

    for me, im happy with my size though if i was involved in creating me lol, maybe thicker and inch and half longer (for novelty sakes!) would be nice but i got a good one and it keeps me satisfied. through experience, when someone asks me if they're adequate, they are generally in the bigger category of the guys i've seen.

    mirrors can be subjective and everything does look smaller when you look down. ask someone.
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    Mar 19, 2007 3:02 AM GMT
    shit, i didn't answer your question!

    it's neither good or bad. you're in the middle of sex, who cares? lol
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    Mar 20, 2007 12:01 AM GMT
    Is comparing your dick-size to that of others good or not?Don't see any harm, unless you obsess over it and it brings you down- and as noted above, we all notice the 'competition'. It's only normal, even for those guy's that find themselves in a 'straight' shell-
    I am on the level of what is deemed 'normal'..don't know what that actually is, as probably depends upon the guy sporting the statistics. If he has 10 inches, I am in trouble...lol...
    In most cases, there is always going to be someone smaller than you in the genital area..and that can make you feel HUGE even if not that well endowed..its an ego thing, but does tend to make you feel more virile-
    From personal experience, a big dick is hot to see and fondle, but it does tend to stretch the mouth...and the butt? The idea of taking a big one is very hot and sexy, but in reality, find that one that is more 'normal' is a much, much better fit!
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    Mar 20, 2007 1:11 AM GMT
    "Obscenewish
    Take the banana out of your mouth and keep going, very interesting!"



    That's not a banana. It's a metaphor.

    But, actually, fitnhot mentions what I theorize is psychologically behind the attraction of the macrocock.

    In a variety of psychoanalyis (Lacanian), there is the principle of jouissance, based on the French notion of pleasure. In a way, it relates to another French habit of calling orgasm "la petite mort," the little death.

    This is suggestive of a conflation of the erotic drive and the death wish. Or, to put it otherwise, when the threshold of pain is increased, so is the pleasure. Thus the bigger the cock, the greater the pleasure, because the pleasure/pain barrier is increased. The experience of pleasure that threatens annihilation of identity, le petit mort, is jouissance (which compares to the more normal "plaisir").

    My doctoral dissertation grew out of another paper I wrote for a gay and lesbian studies conference about barebacking. In it, I theorized that jouissance is also behind unsafe sex for a lot of people. The danger, the spectre of death, seems to enhance the pleasure for a lot of people. (Consult the film "The Gift" to see this talked about indirectly.)

    Leo Bersani, one of the more interesting and readable "queer theorists," postulates that all anal sex is inherently painful (or potentially so). His essay, "Is the rectum a grave?," lays this out.

    As a peripheral note: The stage play/film, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," takes up this subject by reversing the image. The huge cock becomes an "angry inch" and she cain't get no jouisssance.

    Wake up!

  • Starboard

    Posts: 242

    Mar 21, 2007 6:02 AM GMT
    At the risk of taking this way off topic, I had always thought that "la petite mort" referred to that euphoric state that occurs during and immediately after an orgasm. The physical release (and occasional state of asphyxiation) that occurs as a result of an intense orgasm...the muscular tremors...even the facial expressions that [some of us] make during sex can seemingly immitate one's final moments and that was the source of the French expression (not some kind of fascination with death or desire to come close to death...)
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    Mar 22, 2007 6:52 PM GMT
    As far as I know, that's true Starboard. "Jouisssance" in its common usage doesn't refer to a conflation of (not a fascination with) the erotic and the death wish, either. What I am describing is the way Jacques Lacan, a psychoanalyst,used the term and the way "the little death" has been psychologized in that context. Lacan, like Freud, theorizes this as an unconscious process, not a conscious one. You could likewise say people parachute out of airplanes because it emulates flight, but it's pretty commonly accepted that the thrill is in great part rooted in the risk.
  • kenman1111

    Posts: 33

    Mar 23, 2007 3:16 AM GMT
    Don't know why, but I tend to prefer smaller dicks. I am slightly larger than scientific average, but have always felt small. I like that, and am turned on by other masculine, muscular guys who are small and not afraid to show it. I like the idea of being able to take an entire dick and balls in my mouth at once, and find it's easier and more comfortable to pleasure a smaller dick.
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    Mar 23, 2007 1:10 PM GMT

    "That's not a banana. It's a metaphor."
    -are you trope-ing?
    -

    (sorry, best I could come up with)

    Following the thread on Jouissance and La Petite Mort, the Greco-Romans believed that with orgasm came a "drying out" of the body's humours and, if carried to an extreme, one would die as one's humours became too imbalanced...
    Jouissance itself is a fascinating term: the basic translation, as mentioned above, has it as "enjoyment", but Freud felt it went WAAAYYY beyond that: in his essay “Beyond the Pleasure Principle” (1920), the point of orgasm seem to bring us close to death, and implies an urge to regress to the inorganic state that preceded life...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2007 7:59 PM GMT
    ""That's not a banana. It's a metaphor."
    -are you trope-ing?"


    Oy.

    Trope-ing on mellow yellow, dude.
  • art_smass

    Posts: 960

    Mar 26, 2007 2:44 PM GMT
    To me it's not the size that counts, but rather who sounds more like Camille Paglia with a weiner when they try to rationalize the issue. Smart guys are so sexy.
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    Mar 26, 2007 6:51 PM GMT
    Thanks OBSCENEWISH! I am also sorry about the banada thing, I was just trying to add some humour to the forum.

    I think we can all learn from one another! Let me add that all men, no matter how big would love an extra inch. Or thicker. My partner loves mine and that is all I care about.
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    Mar 27, 2007 2:02 AM GMT
    I don't think I'm big enough but I know I'm not alone. What can you do other than have surgery though and I don't trust that route. I'm the right size for my body is the way I feel although in locker rooms I feel small sometimes. Almost 6 inches I guess.
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    Apr 03, 2007 2:23 AM GMT
    never had any issue with my size
  • GQjock

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    Apr 09, 2007 6:05 AM GMT
    Nope never had any complaints ... or thought about it much
    but have been disappointed on both sides of the fence
    because there is such thing as too small and having too much to offer :)
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    Apr 09, 2007 1:35 PM GMT
    Mine's average size, and I've never had any complaints. The one mild annoyance in that area is flaccid state shrinkage. I'm a grower, not a show-er, and when my little buddy gets cold, I become hung like an infant.
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    Apr 10, 2007 11:09 AM GMT
    Mine might be considered larger than average, but I would gladly trade that to be taller.
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    Apr 10, 2007 7:38 PM GMT
    I've always thought I was on the small side. Certainly while flaccid. Yet, I think none of us sees ourselves as others do. Looking down is not the best view. I was getting a massage once and got hard. The guy told my I had a nice dick and was big. Of couse I denied it, but he said to trust him because he has seen many dicks and I'm big. I have measured it many times hoping it is still growing. But it never gets above 6 and half inches.

    I haven't been with many guys but most have been bigger than me. The first guy I was with had a huge cock and I could barely fit him in my mouth. I was with a guy not long ago who wasn't more than four inches. I enjoyed him much better and could really handle him in my mouth. So size doesn't matter as much as we might think it does. I knew I gave the four inch guy a lot of pleasure but I got even more. And that's what counts.
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Apr 11, 2007 4:51 PM GMT
    Okay, on the whole grower vs. shower thing, I'm definitely a grower, but every once in a while it occurs to me that being a grower must actually be really inconvenient.

    When I put on my bike shorts, it's quite convenient that I am not hung like a horse when flaccid. Otherwise it would be rather awkward stopping for lunch, walking through the bike shop, etc.

    For that matter, most normal underwear (briefs) I buy feel a bit snug in the crotch -- and I'm pretty normally sized, based on what I've seen -- and I can't really imagine what I'd do if I didn't, uh, pack light for travel.

    I've actually never encountered a guy who, swimming in ice water or whatever, didn't shrink down very, very substantially. That tissue is highly elastic. Are there really "showers" out there that stay large even when completely flaccid?
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Apr 11, 2007 4:53 PM GMT
    Err, sorry, typo, I meant:

    "... it occurs to me that being a SHOWER must actually be really inconvenient..."
  • kenman1111

    Posts: 33

    Apr 12, 2007 11:49 AM GMT
    Hung like an infant is one of the funniest expressions I have heard in a long time. I too am a grower, and to me there is nothing hotter than to watch or feel a guy grow hard showing arousal, especially if he is smaller to start with.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Apr 13, 2007 7:35 PM GMT
    Happy with what God gave me, all Italian here. I think we get deported if we r small! from deuce bigallo- " we all know it's girth that satisfies..." :)