So you have heard this before but your going to click anyways..(p.s. its bloody long sorry)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    Before I go into this I know we read these types of scenarios on here a lot, many including myself at times can act selfish and not bother replying because Its simply not happening to us, however if you do reply please have something constructive, because I hope any reply or advice will answer the pleas of others in the same situation.

    Firstly when It comes to being in public i.e. gym, shops, university I can be rather socially retarded, but on the other side I can be very confident when I want to and people would never know I'm actually shy. I've dealt with anxiety for over 2 years, much better now, but as others will know it comes and goes when it pleases, which makes it rather frustrating.

    When it comes to guys, or should I say guys I find attractive I do what many guys do which is retract, ignore and almost come across as rude. This never helps anyone right, maybe I'm just being modest...no just shy . ANYWAYS so I have really been seeking the last......wow its been almost a year now, to find someone for a potential relationship.

    After turning 24 last month I thought I really want to find someone to give a crack at a relationship, but where to look hey. I've tried online, on this site I had a long distance that lasted over a year, since him I tried locally on the popular site Manhunt, but yeah I met a few nice guys over coffee but one wanted a relationship upon first meet, when the meet up didn't really go off well and the others...well just wanted to get chiggy with it.

    I have sussed out all my close friends and whether they know of any nice and single gay men, or mutually, but unfortunately they are coupled or living in another state. Plus I don't go to gay clubs as I'm not into the scene and almost refuse to go to one (just not me, and not going to happen)

    Faaaarrrrrk! this is long kudos to whom ever is still reading, So I been thinking now where does this leave me? I'm content on being alone as I have for 24 years, but at the same time I really want to experience a relationship, I need to learn about myself and the other person I feel, I'm ready. But I feel the last 1.5 years I've tried everythingicon_exclaim.gif

    The other day I was at the gym, yes good old gym, I have always managed to spot so many guys I find attractive, as we all do, but every time a guy catches my eye I do as I previously mentioned ignore, ignore and ignore, this time a guy was very obvious in his stares that even I couldn't brush him off so easily, I was pretty much followed to to each part of the gym, even the old weights mirror where you can stare at each other, and admire (lol awkward). We happened to walk out at the same time, even walking out separate directions we met awkwardly again the escalators, and what did I do walk swiftly as fast as i could to my car, only to bump into each
    other there again icon_redface.gif

    This has gone for too long again sorry sorry and sorry, but I'll end with that situation wasn't the first time that happened to me, but as I've tried everything I can think of (taking into account I study and work and have a social life) should I start taking the risk and just say hi, hello, hows it going? or do they too just want to hook up.........or should I just STFU?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 31, 2013 4:10 PM GMT
    Many, if not most, gay men are shy, because we learn at a young age to conceal our attractions and to feel ashamed of them. If you can break out of that, you'll be at a huge advantage in the dating scene.... Just don't go hitting on straight men, no matter how hot and masc they are.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2013 4:19 PM GMT
    You know your comment made me remember how at the time I thought, wow this guy is trying to maybe chat, or could have just been friendly, but no I have been to conditioned to yes suppress my feelings towards any guy that could be gay. But thank you for your reply I genuinely appreciate it, thanks icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2013 7:09 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidMany, if not most, gay men are shy, because we learn at a young age to conceal our attractions and to feel ashamed of them. If you can break out of that, you'll be at a huge advantage in the dating scene.... Just don't go hitting on straight men, no matter how hot and masc they are.icon_wink.gif


    +1, Agree entirely.

    I've learned that the only ways to overcome uncomfortable feeling are to ignore them, and make yourself uncomfortable. Eventually you will get used to it.

    And if you can make some friends at the gym, then go for it. The larger your social network, the better chance you have of finding someone for a relationship.

    I honestly can't think of anywhere for you to try other than an actual dating sight. Have you tried signing up for a local club or group gathering? It sounds like your still in school, maybe an LGBT organization?

    I don't know what else to tell you other than, the more you get out there, the greater your chances will be of finding a relationship.

    Good Luck icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2013 7:57 AM GMT
    Yeah I guess it doesn't help me not going to gay clubs, but either way we all

    know your not going to find your husband at a club lol.

    True maybe I should be more open to guys at the gym, I mean Ive been there

    for almost three years now and see the same guys almost every time, yet I'm

    a rude bastard lol, though my straight friend that is my gym partner for most

    days is actually quite abrupt with others guys at the gym lol ...which doesn't

    help.

    I've looked at one organization that holds LGBT sporting clubs, however the

    median age is around 40, but I have a friend that told me about bush walking

    group so maybe there will be something out of that?

    Yes I'm in University........you just gave me an idea though there are some nice

    guys at the library a lot of the time, so like the gym maybe a simple hello

    wouldn't hurt, geeez I not think of this beforeicon_exclaim.gificon_rolleyes.gif Thanks icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2013 8:57 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidMany, if not most, gay men are shy, because we learn at a young age to conceal our attractions and to feel ashamed of them. If you can break out of that, you'll be at a huge advantage in the dating scene.... Just don't go hitting on straight men, no matter how hot and masc they are.icon_wink.gif

    +1