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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2013 1:55 AM GMT
    http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/15-things-gay-men-need-to-stop-doing/
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Jun 01, 2013 2:21 PM GMT
    Thx for the post icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 01, 2013 2:44 PM GMT
    Very true!!!
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    Jun 01, 2013 2:48 PM GMT
    Would be a way more credible list if it weren't skewed against masculine men. I counted four anti-masc rules but no anti hyper-feminism rules. One of the rules is to embrace being called a girl because its a term of affection in the gay community. Really?

    I would keep those four anti-masc rules but would add:
    1) Quit embracing your feminine side when really you're just being fucking obnoxious. "Bitch please," "Honey you betta...". Most gay guys don't act like a stereotypical black female celebrity. Most females don't either.
    2) If you and your friends get to call each other "gurrrl" and"sweetie, other gay guys can keep calling each other "bro" and "bud". Fair?
    3) Stop letting your shyness keep you from meeting other guys. Use the Internet to identify guys you should MEET not as a catalogue for you to filter and screen through to accommodate your fears.
    4). Settling isn't choosing a guy who doesn't meet your list of preferences. Settling is choosing to be alone when there are good guys out there who you refuse to get to know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2013 11:27 PM GMT
    No shirtless photos on Facebook? WTF? I understand excessive vanity shots, but I don't have a problem with the occasional beach or pool shot. What's more annoying are the "Put a shirt on!" comments that inevitably follow.
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    Jun 01, 2013 11:36 PM GMT
    I do think a lot of these things are eerily true, but I can see how it would be offensive to some gays because it was obviously written by a biased party. The shirtless photo on Facebook thing…idk I think our community is very physical so we have this inner desire to show off the results of our workouts and then be complemented for it.
    And good add to the list Myol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 12:29 AM GMT
    Myol saidWould be a way more credible list if it weren't skewed against masculine men. I counted four anti-masc rules but no anti hyper-feminism rules. One of the rules is to embrace being called a girl because its a term of affection in the gay community. Really?

    I would keep those four anti-masc rules but would add:
    1) Quit embracing your feminine side when really you're just being fucking obnoxious. "Bitch please," "Honey you betta...". Most gay guys don't act like a stereotypical black female celebrity. Most females don't either.
    2) If you and your friends get to call each other "gurrrl" and"sweetie, other gay guys can keep calling each other "bro" and "bud". Fair?
    3) Stop letting your shyness keep you from meeting other guys. Use the Internet to identify guys you should MEET not as a catalogue for you to filter and screen through to accommodate your fears.
    4). Settling isn't choosing a guy who doesn't meet your list of preferences. Settling is choosing to be alone when there are good guys out there who you refuse to get to know.


    Agreed. Effeminate men call other men "girl" or "gurl" as an insult, too, not just as a term of endearment. And as an insult, it's a misogynist one. Calling me girl will not endear me to you, regardless of how you mean it.

  • Jun 02, 2013 12:35 AM GMT
    Interesting point this guy made:

    "The real irony here is that the author, whom I know personally, is SUPER racist against blacks in terms of dating. Madison is himself black and extremely, extremely feminine, and prefers a very specific kind of white dating partner (masculine)..." -YallieDennis

    Personally, I thought the article was tainted when the author only mentioned one race ["Not into black guys, sorry."] Let's be honest; I come across a lot more not into Asians compared to blacks OR only into White and Spanish. Asian men are generalized as effeminate and small below the waist, and are two points the author brings up in his list - where blacks are generalized as being the opposite. NOW we all have preferences, but the stereotypes attached to Asian men are particularly degrading in the gay community.

    Also I'm a dude/male/guy I don't want to be called "gurl". If you are one of those guys that likes to call your groin a "vajay" fine, but speak for YOURSELF ONLY.

    I agree with some of his points. There are plenty of gay men and humans in general who possess depth, but the gay community does tend to put a huge emphasis on appearance.

    Maybe we should tone down the phrases "straight acting" and "masculine" since where is the line. I know a high voice or lisp is typically a turn off for me and a lot of other guys, but most gay guys possess a few effeminate tendencies i.e. a song they like, grooming habits, being sensitive, enjoys cuddling, likes cleaning etc.

    The reality is straight guys have them too. I know a straight football player who knocked up his ex girlfriend. In HS his sister told everyone she caught him listening to Dancing Queen and a Mariah song.
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    Jun 02, 2013 1:10 AM GMT
    No offence but there is a thread with the title of this article in the forum subject line that was started a few days ago. Most people, like me, saw it as a lot of baloney. The guy seems overly impressed with his own values.
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    Jun 02, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    supermanfan saidPrint this out and post it to your mirror.
    I thought this thread was going to be about nekkid pictures of me.
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Jun 02, 2013 5:05 AM GMT
    Hmmm...I think I'll pass on taking advice from a grown man that's proud of writing a "How to Be Beyonce" eBook.
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    Jun 07, 2013 5:22 AM GMT
    supermanfan saidhttp://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/15-things-gay-men-need-to-stop-doing/


    Wow...just threw up. So, this article tries to push a message of acceptance, yet judges men who do not live up to its own definition of a good gay man. So, overall were just judging again and gay men with another interpretation of what gay should be.

    quote:
    'Having an irrational fear of effeminacy in guys. It’s basically misplaced misogyny. I know we all have things we’re attracted to, but there’s a big difference between being attracted to masculine guys and being disgusted by so-called “queens,” so take note all you people who write “No Fems/Queens/Fashion Divas” in your profiles. Why without queens, this world would be an undecorated, deeply boring and highly uninspired place!"

    I know many men who do not like effeminate men because they are all about attention, represent a stereotype, and seem fake. It is not about any 'irrational fear'! Also, I know many butch or masculine(yes, I said masculine) gay men who can dress well and decorate. Again, the whole decorating stereotype...way to define gay men in such a shallow and pointless way. So, you can call gay men decorating divas, but not masculine. Hmm, makes a lot of sense...NOT!

    And btw the...'misplaced misogyny'...gross...sorry, way to try to be a feminist when this is about preference and not hate.
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    Jun 07, 2013 5:23 AM GMT
    shortbutsweet said
    Myol saidWould be a way more credible list if it weren't skewed against masculine men. I counted four anti-masc rules but no anti hyper-feminism rules. One of the rules is to embrace being called a girl because its a term of affection in the gay community. Really?

    I would keep those four anti-masc rules but would add:
    1) Quit embracing your feminine side when really you're just being fucking obnoxious. "Bitch please," "Honey you betta...". Most gay guys don't act like a stereotypical black female celebrity. Most females don't either.
    2) If you and your friends get to call each other "gurrrl" and"sweetie, other gay guys can keep calling each other "bro" and "bud". Fair?
    3) Stop letting your shyness keep you from meeting other guys. Use the Internet to identify guys you should MEET not as a catalogue for you to filter and screen through to accommodate your fears.
    4). Settling isn't choosing a guy who doesn't meet your list of preferences. Settling is choosing to be alone when there are good guys out there who you refuse to get to know.


    Agreed. Effeminate men call other men "girl" or "gurl" as an insult, too, not just as a term of endearment. And as an insult, it's a misogynist one. Calling me girl will not endear me to you, regardless of how you mean it.


    Great reading your view. Right with you.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 07, 2013 5:32 AM GMT
    Myol saidWould be a way more credible list if it weren't skewed against masculine men. I counted four anti-masc rules but no anti hyper-feminism rules. One of the rules is to embrace being called a girl because its a term of affection in the gay community. Really?

    I would keep those four anti-masc rules but would add:
    1) Quit embracing your feminine side when really you're just being fucking obnoxious. "Bitch please," "Honey you betta...". Most gay guys don't act like a stereotypical black female celebrity. Most females don't either.
    2) If you and your friends get to call each other "gurrrl" and"sweetie, other gay guys can keep calling each other "bro" and "bud". Fair?
    3) Stop letting your shyness keep you from meeting other guys. Use the Internet to identify guys you should MEET not as a catalogue for you to filter and screen through to accommodate your fears.
    4). Settling isn't choosing a guy who doesn't meet your list of preferences. Settling is choosing to be alone when there are good guys out there who you refuse to get to know.


    Very well said, Myol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2013 5:33 AM GMT
    I post shirtless pix on fb lol