Do you find yourself more succesful in dating within your race and age (or not too distant similiar?)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 7:54 AM GMT
    I've been anal-izing my dating life and comparing the relationships and dates I've been on that have had long-term potential versus the ones that just flat out didn't go nowhere or the guy was just playing games.

    For example, this year alone I met with 2 types of guys who I never dated before. 1 was a Muslim guy from Morocco and the other a Vietnamese guy. Both of them seemed really charming at first, but then just faded away fpr no reason. They put on this big, charming front but when it came time to get serious...they wouldn't take it past a 3rd date. Ditto with many of the White guys I've come across as well. And guys over 30. Not all, but many.

    However, many of my more consistent relationships have been with Black and Puerto Rican men or men who are from the islands or central american backgrounds. They just seem to still be into me no matter what I do. I met one last week who was Black/Panamanian and Cuban. I broke all the rules with this guy and he still stuck around. I told him stuff about me, he didn't hold it against me.

    I know all this is subjective, but there has to be some pattern as to why I'm finding consisency with some but not others. I can find all types of men attractive....but not all of them take me serious. So I have to do the right thing, and only avail myself to those who do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 8:04 AM GMT
    I don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.
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    Jun 02, 2013 9:13 AM GMT
    No. I get contacted by loads of younger and older guys but it is rare that a guy near my age contacts me on dating sites even though I say that is what I am looking for.
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    Jun 02, 2013 11:25 AM GMT
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.

    When someone wants to say something rude, they always start with "I don't want to be rude..."
    I don't think any of your off base opinions are true, except for you. What I hate about people who write as if their trite opinions are accurate for anyone but their jaded selves is that you never bother to start with "this is MY opinion only." Just that sentence would have made your ridiculous comments palatable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 11:29 AM GMT
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    Well thats what I've known for awhile...but I kind of didn't want to generalized or make up something that may or may not have been there. Unless a guy specifically says he's into my type...I won't see them as having a fetish, I just see them being into me.

    I'm just tired of hearing the interracial guys saying they aren't ready to date, or act as so...when I know for sure that's not the case. Deep down inside, everybody wants to date. And anyone can come up on here and say it's because of 1 thing...yet there are people that who don't care about all that nitpicky bullshit some of these guys are pulling.
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    Jun 02, 2013 12:02 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    Well thats what I've known for awhile...but I kind of didn't want to generalized or make up something that may or may not have been there. Unless a guy specifically says he's into my type...I won't see them as having a fetish, I just see them being into me.

    I'm just tired of hearing the interracial guys saying they aren't ready to date, or act as so...when I know for sure that's not the case. Deep down inside, everybody wants to date. And anyone can come up on here and say it's because of 1 thing...yet there are people that who don't care about all that nitpicky bullshit some of these guys are pulling.


    actually, I think my post came off as harsh and a bit too generalized. Instead of "most" nonblack guys, I mean MANY nonblack guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 12:18 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    I know all this is subjective, but there has to be some pattern as to why I'm finding consisency with some but not others. I can find all types of men attractive....but not all of them take me serious. So I have to do the right thing, and only avail myself to those who do.

    So many variables here. Frankly, we don't know what kind of personality you project in RL. You're intelligent and express yourself well here - but maybe you're tongue-tied and awkward in person? You might act boorish and have really bad breath, for all we know. OK, that may be silly, but the point is that it's hard from this side of the screen to assess how guys really see you, in addition to age & color.

    As for my own types I really don't have any, EXCEPT for age, which I like close to my own or older. Youngsters need not apply, and yes, some do approach me.

    The other big thing for me is intellectual compatibility and general outlook on life, which has nothing to do with race directly. I'm more attracted to the head on a guy's shoulders than the one between his legs, and again, that's a color-blind distinction.

    On the other hand, some cultural and racial backgrounds do shape a guy's outlook & behavior. I'm reminded of Rhett Butler saying to Scarlet O'Hara in Gone With The Wind that her most important consideration in marrying a man is that "...he's a Southerner and thinks like you."

    I often wonder how I ended up marrying 2 Italians, my late & current partners (I realize not as strong as a racial distinction). I have nothing in common with the Italian culture, never set out to snag one. But there they were, I fell in love with them and their being Italian really wasn't a factor for me (and both of them very proud of their Italian heritage, very obvious & demonstrative about it, though alien to my own background).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 12:23 PM GMT
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    Same can be said that blacks don't feel that non-blacks are date able. I've experienced the Mandingo mindset too many times... They are more interested in experiencing the Mandingo scene in porn than knowing anything about me. I'm not one to enjoy an one night stand.

    Interracial dating works when two men come (cum) with an open mind (mouth). icon_biggrin.gif
  • Christoforos

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    Jun 02, 2013 12:37 PM GMT
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    It's true.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Jun 02, 2013 12:43 PM GMT
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    Hardly. I just think your personality sucks and they don't want to stick around.
  • Christoforos

    Posts: 264

    Jun 02, 2013 12:47 PM GMT
    Montague said
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    Hardly. I just think your personality sucks and they don't want to stick around.


    No need to bash him. You know he's telling the truth.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 12:59 PM GMT
    Christoforos said
    Montague said
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    Hardly. I just think your personality sucks and they don't want to stick around.


    No need to bash him. You know he's telling the truth.


    This is wrong on so many levelsicon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 1:23 PM GMT
    Christoforos said
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    It's true.


    False.


    If this was true why are there so many interracial couples in relationships?
    Even on this site you'll come across interracial couples. It's also very common in bigger cities such as Chicago and New York.

  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jun 02, 2013 2:01 PM GMT
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    You are an idiot. Stop posting.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 02, 2013 2:57 PM GMT
    i have a lot of success with very rich men of various kinds of money
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 661

    Jun 02, 2013 3:33 PM GMT
    What you describe sounds pretty standard to me. I find very few men who will go beyond a second date whether you have sex or not. I don't know if it has to do with race. When I was younger, it was easy to find sex partners, not so much now. But even then, hardly anyone was willing to see me more than twice. When I was young, I was not uber hot, but pretty attractive.

    I did meet men who wanted to have sex, a few who wanted to date, but only a few who dated more than a few times. I dated a black man for 3 months, My longer relationships have been with white males of various ages. I tend to be attracted to a certain type which appears in most ethnic groups (smooth, slender). My partners have not been my type.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 3:38 PM GMT
    I seem to have a pattern.... I find a guy I like, or a guy messages me or I get set up on a date... we met and exchange some messages and then he plays the disappearing act. Granted I'm no saint myself, but I will make it clear that I'm not interested.
  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    Jun 02, 2013 3:53 PM GMT
    financial_jock saidI seem to have a pattern.... I find a guy I like, or a guy messages me or I get set up on a date... we met and exchange some messages and then he plays the disappearing act. Granted I'm no saint myself, but I will make it clear that I'm not interested.


    Yes, that seems quite common. And it hardly seems to matter whether there is sex on the first date or not. If there is, the dinner is just written off as a long prelude to a hookup, if there isn't, it's usually interpreted as me not being interested in him, now matter how much I say that I'd like to get together again. I'm not sure how to get out of this conundrum.
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    Jun 02, 2013 6:41 PM GMT
    Wolfrain said
    If this was true why are there so many interracial couples in relationships?
    Even on this site you'll come across interracial couples. It's also very common in bigger cities such as Chicago and New York.

    It's true to an extent and depending on where you're at perhaps. Yes there are lots of interracial couples in relationships, but we don't necessarily know how they got there or how long. They probably experienced what I experienced for years before finding someone compatible. I can agree maybe in NYC anything goes...but not everybody lives in NYC lol.

    And if you are referring to people you see out and about in public...you wouldn't even know the whole story. When me and the Vietnamese guy went on our dates, my friends thought we were together. People at the Vietnamese restuaraunt all turned their heads and focusesd on us. When I was with the Muslim guy, the waiter at the restauraunt walked to our table and seen us holding hands next to each other.

    It was all an ILLUSION. Non of these guys became my boyfriend. But to the naked eye, you would think we were.

    ART_DECO said
    I often wonder how I ended up marrying 2 Italians, my late & current partners (I realize not as strong as a racial distinction).

    Oh...well now let me tell you something about those Italians. I'd consider them a 'not to distant' similar myself icon_razz.gif
  • MadeinMich

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    Jun 02, 2013 7:01 PM GMT
    drew123 saidI don't want to be rude but most nonblack gays don't see black men as dating material, you're more hook-up material for guys with an African fetish. I don't want to sound rude, that's just the way it is. People can argue against it all they want but they know it's true. That's why you've had better experiences with black men.


    I sadly find this to be true. I know of a middle eastern guy who is devoutly partnered with a white guy whose sex life with is all but over, yet he scowers the internet for black dick all the time. He says he is sooo sexually unhappy. Yet when I asked him why he doesn't just partner up with a black man, he says stuff like " Well, I'm never on the same page with black men in terms of things like finance and saving", like we just all squander our money away. So essentially he uses black men as a fetish while judging them as fiscally irresponsible. I hope he suffers a lifetime of sexually frustration..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 7:04 PM GMT
    Nope.

    I can date anyone.

    And I like it that way.

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 7:06 PM GMT
    calibro saidi have a lot of success with very rich men of various kinds of money


    Yeah but You ALWAYS have a price tag around Yer neck and an expiration date stamped on Your forehead so it takes all the fun of negotiation out of the equation...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2013 7:34 PM GMT
    MadeinMich said
    Yet when I asked him why he doesn't just partner up with a black man, he says stuff like " Well, I'm never on the same page with black men in terms of things like finance and saving", like we just all squander our money away. So essentially he uses black men as a fetish while judging them as fiscally irresponsible. I hope he suffers a lifetime of sexually frustration..


    OMG, that's fucked up....but oh so true.

    The Vietnamese guy I was dating would be giving me the 3rd degree when I told him what I was doing with my money, after the 2nd date! I told him I had got new speakers for my car, he told me it was just spending money. And that he buys new car so he don't have to replace speakers. I'd tell him I bought a new TV, he tell me something about money. As if I wanted to keep watching movies on my 19" TV. Hell no, I'm going to go for a 39" and be happy. This the first TV I ever bought in my life and I'm 25.

    I'm like holdup bitch. 1st of all, you didn't help me make a dime of this money...don't fucking tell me what to spend my shit on. Plus, my car is PAID FOR, no payments. And I have credit too, but I just rent cars every so often when I feel like driving a new car! So I can fix, sell, do whatever the fuck I want to it. That shut him up real quick.

    If people of other races going to be having this issue with me about finances that they think is true...then perhaps I need to pump the brakes on those type of guys. I don't want to continue wasting time with men who are not going to see me as relationship material from the get go. Because if they are thinking with that mind-set, that automatically disquaifies themselves from me...and it doesn't matter what I do or don't do during the date...they've already put a wall up in between us to prevent shit from going anywhere.

  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Jun 02, 2013 7:54 PM GMT
    Dude, if you mesh well with black men then stay with them. I like all men, but honestly I'll probably end up with a black man becuase that's the type I met with, and there's not much interracial dating in Michigan.
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    Jun 02, 2013 8:23 PM GMT
    No offense but maybe it's You, and not the race of the men you're dating.