Would you date someone who outright rejected you?

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 03, 2013 7:44 PM GMT
    Like say, you try to meet someone (either online or offline) and try to get to know him but he blatantly and outright reject you. Then say a few months later, you have a slight transformation (either working out more or getting leaner etc), the guy that outright rejected you tries to get to know you.

    Personally, I don't hold grudges but I probably wouldn't give the guy a chance because I would have a sense of the personality he has. How about you guys?
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    Jun 03, 2013 7:48 PM GMT
    Nope! I'll be glad to be friends with him and that's about it.
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    Jun 03, 2013 7:50 PM GMT
    No.
  • Puppymuncher

    Posts: 163

    Jun 03, 2013 8:14 PM GMT
    No.. but the little devil that stands on my shoulder would tell me to befriend the guy if he really wants it. Get hotter, leaner, buffer, sexier and all the while ignoring whatever romantic initiations he may start.

    Find satisfaction in the smugness of turning down this person who outright rejected you because he didn't think you were hot enough. Well guess what, beauty comes in different forms and if you weren't hot enough for him before, that means he's not good enough for you, back then and especially now.

    Maintaining the dignity to move on without making a big issue about it and the self-confidence to not allow shallow fuckers get to your self esteem is the ultimate solution, imo.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 03, 2013 10:17 PM GMT
    Puppymuncher saidNo.. but the little devil that stands on my shoulder would tell me to befriend the guy if he really wants it. Get hotter, leaner, buffer, sexier and all the while ignoring whatever romantic initiations he may start.

    Find satisfaction in the smugness of turning down this person who outright rejected you because he didn't think you were hot enough. Well guess what, beauty comes in different forms and if you weren't hot enough for him before, that means he's not good enough for you, back then and especially now.

    Maintaining the dignity to move on without making a big issue about it and the self-confidence to not allow shallow fuckers get to your self esteem is the ultimate solution, imo.


    This right here sums it up perfectly. I feel this way too. I don't care how attractive the guy is.


    Erik101Nope! I'll be glad to be friends with him and that's about it.

    That's cool.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 03, 2013 10:21 PM GMT
    I just brought this topic up because I had an experience like this but the thing was I met this guy in person. He acted like he was into me but he hated when I decided to grow my hair out a little. He stopped chatting to me after we met up and when I tried saying hello, he sent only one reply saying he didn't like my "longish" hair.

    This happened last year in early summer, fast forward to 2013 and my workout is starting to give slight results and I also trimmed my hair a bit. He hits me up on the site we're both on and he acts like nothing happened and started doing the compliment trick. I didn't respond to him at all and he asked why I wasn't responding. I never replied back. I felt bad but I seriously felt like shit at the time when he did and said what he did and I don't want to be someones doormat. :l
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    Jun 03, 2013 11:12 PM GMT
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    Jun 03, 2013 11:14 PM GMT
    No, but I wouldn't rub their face in it, I would just avoid them.
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    Jun 03, 2013 11:38 PM GMT
    Would a person who rejected you before, but who accepts you after some changes reject you again later because of other changes? Or do we tend to be more visual before we get to know a person and more accepting after we know them for a while? Or is the other person a control freak? Or is the other person stuck in a particular gear, ie would they enjoy you at one stage but reject you as you age?

    On our end of it, do we reject the person who rejected us because to accept them now would indicate low self-esteem? Or do we accept a person who rejected us before because to reject them now enslaves us to our pride?
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    Jun 04, 2013 12:45 AM GMT
    Yes, I would.

    Appearance is the first thing people see. If you know that your appearance is less than it's capable of being and you get rejected, then change your appearance to a more pleasing look, it's quite rude to reject a person for being honest.

    After all, if YOU didn't like your appearance, you wouldn't have changed it in the first place.
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    Jun 04, 2013 1:04 AM GMT
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    Jun 04, 2013 4:11 AM GMT
    Sure, then during the date, go all Revenge on his ass. What's a little arsenic in his drink?
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    Jun 04, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    Nope
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 04, 2013 4:21 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidYes, I would.

    Appearance is the first thing people see. If you know that your appearance is less than it's capable of being and you get rejected, then change your appearance to a more pleasing look, it's quite rude to reject a person for being honest.

    After all, if YOU didn't like your appearance, you wouldn't have changed it in the first place.


    If you are directing this at me. I did like where I was and I was still working out even before I met the guy so I already was working on myself. I like my look and I would never change it just because some guy wanted me to. If they didn't like it, they're better off finding someone who has a look to their standards/desires. So sorry but I just honestly feel I wouldn't want to get to know the person.

    But it's cool that you can.

    Ohno No, but I wouldn't rub their face in it, I would just avoid them.

    Seems reasonable I guess but it'd probably be harder if you lived in the same area with the guy.

    TheAntiJock Would a person who rejected you before, but who accepts you after some changes reject you again later because of other changes? Or do we tend to be more visual before we get to know a person and more accepting after we know them for a while? Or is the other person a control freak? Or is the other person stuck in a particular gear, ie would they enjoy you at one stage but reject you as you age?

    On our end of it, do we reject the person who rejected us because to accept them now would indicate low self-esteem? Or do we accept a person who rejected us before because to reject them now enslaves us to our pride?


    I don't know... I honestly don't know. icon_confused.gif

    [quote][cite]Soulman1969[/cite] Sure, then during the date, go all Revenge on his ass. What's a little arsenic in his drink? [quote]

    lol I know I'm not that cruel. I could never do something like that.. lol

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Jun 04, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    theantijock said


    icon_eek.gif Haha well I guess that would be a fair interpretation. Minus the going crazy part she did.
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    Jun 04, 2013 6:21 AM GMT
    I actually would... I may be more forgiving than others. To be honest I don't really blame some muscular guy rejecting me in the past because I didn't used to be as muscular as I am today. I mean... I'm still building, but I've made 20 pounds of progress in two years and counting. I think a lot of guys who have muscles want to go for other guys with muscles; therefore, I would grab their attention if I was more muscular.

    Also.. working out has been a huge source of confidence for me. I think that this becomes apparent after a while... and that may also be a more attractive quality that you used to not have. People can change!
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    Jun 04, 2013 6:29 AM GMT
    I think i would, there could be a reason(s) why he wasn't interested at first, he could have been crushing on someone else and it the long it just didn't work out. So yea i'd give it a try and see where it goes. After all what goes around comes around and i am posed to be a nicer and mature person about such things.
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    Jun 04, 2013 8:53 AM GMT
    Hell No

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  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Jun 04, 2013 9:04 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidYes, I would.

    Appearance is the first thing people see. If you know that your appearance is less than it's capable of being and you get rejected, then change your appearance to a more pleasing look, it's quite rude to reject a person for being honest.

    After all, if YOU didn't like your appearance, you wouldn't have changed it in the first place.


    this.

    but i would definitely act like the better person in the relationship
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    Jun 04, 2013 9:55 AM GMT
    No.
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    Jun 04, 2013 11:07 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidYes, I would.

    Appearance is the first thing people see. If you know that your appearance is less than it's capable of being and you get rejected, then change your appearance to a more pleasing look, it's quite rude to reject a person for being honest.



    And is it completely okay for the honest guy to reject someone based on appearance and not considered rude? I agree with you that appearance is the first thing people see. But does it have to stop there?

    If the guy doing the rejecting all of a sudden has interest in the same guy he rejected because of a 3 to 6 month muscle/leaner transformation, then that means the who guy who did the initial rejecting couldn't see past the other's guy's appearance prior to the transformation. In my opinion, that's rude!

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    Jun 04, 2013 11:21 AM GMT
    I dont see what the big deal is. Lighten up. The variables for rejection are in the millions and sometimes ppl tastes change in the course of a life span. It could be after packing on some muscle, you portray a difference in confidence and thats more attractive for some.
    For whatever the reason wouldnt it be just as bad for you to reject someone because you harbor ill feelings or past feelings? That seem immature.
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    Jun 04, 2013 11:23 AM GMT
    If you want to date someone who values superficiality more than the substance of someone's character then sure go for it.
    Otherwise don't rebuild the bridge they prematurely burnt down.

    Honestly if a guy rejects you on how you look you know they only have one thing on their mind because being friends with someone and getting to know them should not have an appearance prerequisite.

    With that being said, the unfortunate reality is superficiality is still very ripe.
    Not that I'm saying it's 100% fact, but I believe men are generally more superficial anyway and so that, in some ways, gets intensified in the world of gay men in particular.

    I'm saying this under the assumption that by "blatant and outright" it was an ungraceful and hurtful method of rejection.

    If he rejected you in an honest but gracious way then I don't see anything wrong with being friends with them later if they initiated it, but that's as far as I would go.
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    Jun 04, 2013 11:36 AM GMT
    If it was only based on how much better I looked, than prolly not. I would assume he just wanted to get some. But if he legitimately wanted to get to know me and is just shallow... eh, maybe. It always depends on the person and the exact situation I guess.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Jun 04, 2013 11:44 AM GMT
    I've actually given it a lot of thought.

    If I'm ever to accept a person who rejected me (and here it is crucial how it went down), I'd make that person "suffer" for a somewhat long period of time (like someone said, "just friends"). There is a portuguese expression that says "he has to eat a lot of soup before" - which basically means that the other person would have to go through hell and fire to prove himself. Only then would I be sure of the other person's intentions, since if he stucks around, then it means he'd be interested in more than a hookup.

    My immediate reaction is "no", but this is as far as I can go.