This probably applies to old homos even more and one could wonder how many of these suicides are older homosexuals.

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    Jun 04, 2013 12:49 PM GMT
    Think a bunch because many don't have children or grandchildren and are isolated in the homosexual community because of rampant ageism. Having just lost my dad and my mom is going crazy with dementia, I realize how time consuming this can be for the elder adult children. Then what's going to happen to those of us who don't have the family support group? As I approach the big SIX - O I've been thinking a bunch about this. Personally, I'm going to have no ways near the support my parents have had.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/baby-boomers-are-killing-themselves-at-an-alarming-rate-begging-question-why/2013/06/03/d98acc7a-c41f-11e2-8c3b-0b5e9247e8ca_story.html
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    Jun 04, 2013 12:53 PM GMT
    U better find a young boyfriend quickly so they can choose a good nursing home for you.
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    Jun 04, 2013 12:57 PM GMT
    Import saidU better find a young boyfriend quickly so they can choose a good nursing home for you.


    No way, given the flake (mostly) homosexual community, are you going to find a bf that will put up with the shit that my brother, sister and me are going through with my mother right now.
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    Jun 04, 2013 1:18 PM GMT
    I doubt anyone is tracking adult suicides by sexual orientation, which wouldn't be known in many cases, anyway. The ones that are getting the most attention are young LGBT due to bullying.

    We rarely hear about suicides in Wilton Manors, which is predominately gay with an older population. But then if you live here you're probably comfortably (or at least adequately) retired, or earning well, often with a partner, in a very socially active and out gay community where middle age is not considered old, so at least 4 proposed reasons for gay suicide are absent.

    On the other hand, last month a rather prominent, local single gay businessman in his 40's committed suicide here. Put his dog in the care of a friend, a pretended trip his reason, took a hotel room by the beach and killed himself.

    If there was a note and a reason I haven't heard of it, and I don't even know the method, the police didn't release details. His business seemed prosperous according to his fellow businessmen, he regularly advertised in the gay rags. We knew him, not a close friend, but sometimes had breakfast with him, met him at social functions, very pleasant, nice company and handsome.

    So I don't know if this is a real problem statistically or not.
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    Jun 04, 2013 1:42 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said
    No way, given the flake (mostly) homosexual community, are you going to find a bf that will put up with the shit that my brother, sister and me are going through with my mother right now.

    As implied in my reply above, you relocate to a gay mecca like Wilton Manors (and please, the word "ghetto" as used by some others does not do it justice) as soon as you can. Our climate without salted winter roads would probably be better for your vintage cars, anyway, so long as you garage them out of the sun.

    BF or not, it's also important to develop a support network of friends. In a heavily gay community that's very easy. We not only have dedicated support groups for the gay elderly, but also support groups for the gay caregivers to the elderly. There's great power, as well as greater variety & options, in numbers.
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    Jun 04, 2013 2:40 PM GMT
    ART_DECO saidI doubt anyone is tracking adult suicides by sexual orientation, which wouldn't be known in many cases, anyway. The ones that are getting the most attention are young LGBT due to bullying.

    Probably true in the older generation as the ones who kept closeted all their lives would IMO be more likely to do this.

    We rarely hear about suicides in Wilton Manors, which is predominately gay with an older population. But then if you live here you're probably comfortably (or at least adequately) retired, or earning well, often with a partner, in a very socially active and out gay community where middle age is not considered old, so at least 4 proposed reasons for gay suicide are absent.

    And besides Wilton Manners, Palm Springs has become another one ... with a VERY active collector car population. A huge number of our Great Autos of Yesterqueer members were from Palm Springs. It's the only primarily homosexual thing I've ever been interested in and even that is because I like the big giant road bruisers and I don't mean Dykes on Bikes. More like a 1961 PIMPerial, which I still intend on finding.

    It's sure something I'm thinking about as I transition from just old to really really old.

    I don't know how long I'm going to be stuck here in Columbus though. After my mom goes, it will probably take two years to clean this house out to put it on the market.


    On the other hand, last month a rather prominent, local single gay businessman in his 40's committed suicide here. Put his dog in the care of a friend, a pretended trip his reason, took a hotel room by the beach and killed himself.

    If there was a note and a reason I haven't heard of it, and I don't even know the method, the police didn't release details. His business seemed prosperous according to his fellow businessmen, he regularly advertised in the gay rags. We knew him, not a close friend, but sometimes had breakfast with him, met him at social functions, very pleasant, nice company and handsome.

    So I don't know if this is a real problem statistically or not.
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    Jun 04, 2013 2:53 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said
    More like a 1961 PIMPerial, which I still intend on finding.

    Like my late Mother's car, also in white like this one (but not hers in this pic). She kept it long enough that I actually drove this monster, the hood like looking over the deck of an aircraft carrier. I have no idea how she managed to drive it.

    file-56.jpg

    file-57.jpg
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    Jun 04, 2013 3:17 PM GMT
    I think they were easy to drive. If there wasn't room to get through .... you can make room.


    Look at the size of this thing (easy bois ... talking about a really big car)



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    Jun 04, 2013 3:21 PM GMT
    And especially this one. Look at that instrument panel. Electroluminescence!!!

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    Jun 04, 2013 5:20 PM GMT
    Aristoshark saidI'm sorry to hear about your dad, FIF.


    Thanks Jeff. We had to use hospice to put an end to it as he was in so much pain.

    We're about ready to put my mom in a 'home' but she'll get kicked out as she is so combative and belligerent plus has zero memory. Not fun times right now !!!!!!!!!
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    Jun 05, 2013 12:06 AM GMT
    @FIF: Sorry to hear about your parents. You're probably not the type to take that as a route out barring any terminal illness. But that might be the fate of many - especially those not financially prepared for old age.

    Someone in the article said "“There was not this big segregation between the poor and the rich [20 years ago]". . . The rich will always do OK. I really don't know how those without savings survive into old age. One has to be absolutely destitute to get into a MediCaid paid for nursing home, and the conditions seem universally to be terrible in those. And even with some financial resources - if you don't want to live in the desert (Palm Springs, where it is 100 degrees most of the year), or Florida, there isn't a lot of choice for older gay men. Even in "gay" San Francisco, the staff in retirement homes is often abusive to gays and lesbians. And if one survives into very old age, 95% of the residents of such places are going to be women - not the company I would want exclusively to seek out.

    Anyone who can afford it, should get long term care insurance by the time they are in their 50's - at least a financial solution if you have a partner to look after you. Even with a partner - one of the two of you is going to go first - leaving the other one alone.
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    Jun 05, 2013 12:12 AM GMT
    freedomisntfree said
    Aristoshark saidI'm sorry to hear about your dad, FIF.


    Thanks Jeff. We had to use hospice to put an end to it as he was in so much pain.

    We're about ready to put my mom in a 'home' but she'll get kicked out as she is so combative and belligerent plus has zero memory. Not fun times right now !!!!!!!!!


    I'm sorry. That sounds awful.
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    Jun 05, 2013 1:48 AM GMT
    I sure the suicides are worst than you think , most older gay men can not stand the queers taking over.
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    Jun 06, 2013 12:50 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    freedomisntfree said
    More like a 1961 PIMPerial, which I still intend on finding.

    Like my late Mother's car, also in white like this one (but not hers in this pic). She kept it long enough that I actually drove this monster, the hood like looking over the deck of an aircraft carrier. I have no idea how she managed to drive it.

    file-56.jpg

    file-57.jpg


    Even as late as 1967, these were wonderful road warriors

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    Jun 06, 2013 1:05 PM GMT
    showme said
    freedomisntfree said
    Aristoshark saidI'm sorry to hear about your dad, FIF.


    Thanks Jeff. We had to use hospice to put an end to it as he was in so much pain.

    We're about ready to put my mom in a 'home' but she'll get kicked out as she is so combative and belligerent plus has zero memory. Not fun times right now !!!!!!!!!


    I'm sorry. That sounds awful.


    Not fun right now, but I have a pretty postive attitude about everything. I do feel a little guilty though, that even today, on my birthday, I hope my sister doesn't bring my mom back home and that she keeps her for the day. What a terrible thing to wish for. I'm a type A, alpha male and I'm just not well equipped to deal with this.
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    Jun 06, 2013 1:19 PM GMT
    I was reading another article about this. Apparently, the 50 to 60yo crowd is leading the way more so than the teenage population and it's hitting the straight population just as hard. Here they have worked all there life.... retire and get chewed out. These suicides aren't necessarily reported as such.. so it's pretty sad.

    The less active you are the more you're going to dwell on this type of thing. An illness or financial difficulty can be toxic. Also, having negative people around you or that you socialize with is a big detriment. Take care of your body and take care of your mind, always find the good in life.
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    Jun 06, 2013 1:22 PM GMT
    Really sorry to hear about that... it is on my mind quite often. My folks are in their early 70s right now, still completely independent and my dad works full time, but I can see them starting to have issues here and there and I know the day is coming. Luckily there are 4 of us siblings, we all live fairly close together and we all get along. We'll figure something out.

    But our family is unusual. The closeness between generations that was the norm a few decades ago has broken down. Many of my friends' families are scattered across the country/world and they busy with their own lives/careers/kids, and are not willing or prepared to make the kind of sacrifice you've been making for your mom. I'm not sure that being straight and having kids would make things much easier.

    I have six nieces/nephews and some younger cousins between my partner's family and mine, but I doubt we can expect them to take responsibility for us. I have carried long-term care insurance for a long time. I plan to pare down on possessions/expenses when I get older. If I am not lucky enough to still be in a relationship I could happily live in an RV or efficiency and find some kind of work to keep me busy as long as I'm able. What happens after that is anybody's guess.
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    Jun 06, 2013 1:49 PM GMT
    I've taken a huge hit in income to come back here just as the CRE market has started to boom again. Of course the biggest reason is that property prices are 5 to 10x higher in SoCal. You can make money back here if you do 200 or so transactions per year, but that's not possible given the time that I need to spend on parent issues so all of this is putting a huge dent in my retirement possibilities. Provided that I stay healthy almost to my end so that I may work full time, I may make it. If anything happens, I'm in deep shit. I'm not going to have either the insurance or the family support that my parents have had. I'm quite concerned.