I just broke up with my boyfriend Carlos.

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    Sep 08, 2007 6:05 PM GMT
    On august 27th of 2007 IU broke up with this guy Carlos.The first time i was going to break up with him he was in the closet to the family and i can't be hidden so i nearly broke up with him within the first month. The second time i felt to guilt bc he had come out for me so i told him i had been cheating so he would break up with me and I could go on. Of course he kind of breaks up with me so i thought my plan had worked and then he kept me over his home fucked the hell out of me said it was break up sex and made me feel like shit. SO he asks me to go back for two days after that and i unfortunately gave in and got back with him. Of course i was getting him back for the breakup sex so i fucked him even though he prefers to be the top and the very next week after we had just made love he proposes to me. I didn't want to ruin the moment so i say yes and automatically regret what i had said. SO we get into another figth a few weeks later and i throw the ring he gave me at him before heading to work because he made me late. Finally on tuesday the 27th of august i broke up with him for real. I told him we could still be friends if he wanted but that what we had would have to end because i felt it wasn't going anywhere while at the same time going to fast. Ever since then he hasn't stopped calling me. I know it was a seriously fucked up relationship but how do i get him to stop bugging me about getting back together. Also to make things even worse he is moving to westfield near where i am staying at and that doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable. What should i do? Move? Telling him about my other sexual experiences sure the fuck isn't working. ANd the blind dates my friends have been setting me up with are terrible. HELP ME PLEASE! Thanks guys.
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    Sep 08, 2007 6:06 PM GMT
    Ok guys advise away!
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Sep 08, 2007 6:16 PM GMT
    Why would you move? I think you should stay and stick it out. If you don't want to be with him then don't be with him. I can live in the same city with my ex and not have a problem with it. I'm NOT going to move and alter my entire life because he's moving closer to me. But... ex's are great for sex because you know them, they know you and it's not a random hook-up, but you should keep it just as sex if you are going to do that. If you can't, then you need to stay at least 15ft. away from his penis... Long story short, enjoy your life, don't move, and have lots of great sex. LOL, I don't know if that made any sense but I'm not a shrink. :)
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    Sep 08, 2007 6:40 PM GMT

    Jeez -

    Be a fucking MAN, cut the drama already.

    You have two options, both require telling him the TRUTH.

    1 - You said "i felt it wasn't going anywhere while at the same time going to fast"; So which freaking one is it? Sounds to me like YOU are the one with MAJOR commitment issues here. Sounds like you are all over the guy and can't commit out of fear.

    Get over it - figure out what you want - go back to him on your knees, bearing chocolates, flowers, a Ring, and beg him to take your stupid sorry ass back.

    2 - Tell him the truth, that it isn't working and you don't want to see him romanticly any more.

    You pretty much brought all this drama and shit on yourself by all the lies you told him.

    Step up to the plate and be HONEST with him. He is trying to take his cues from you - that is pretty damn difficult to do if you are lying to him all the time.

    R

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    Sep 08, 2007 6:44 PM GMT

    PS - You are thinking of freaking MOVING because this guy is moving to your NEIGHBORHOOD?

    You are trying to run away again.

    Man you must really be afraid of involvement or commitment on any level.

    Sit tight and stay where you are, deal with it like a man.

    R
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    Sep 08, 2007 7:00 PM GMT
    First, ITJock, cut the kid some slack - he's only 18. Loads of drama, I agree but most people aren't the most with it when they're 18.

    Second, erm, what ITJock said! LOL. No really, tell this guy that clearly you have some growing up to do and you aren't nearly stable enough to commit to anything at this point. That gives him the comfort that you might come around while giving you the space you need to doing this growing up.
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    Sep 08, 2007 8:03 PM GMT

    Jeez - sorry

    That will teach me to look at someones profile and age before spouting off.

    I apologise for being so blunt.

    Go forth and sin no more.

    R
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    Sep 08, 2007 11:31 PM GMT
    Now I lay me down to cheat
    ..on the man with whom I sleep
    I pray he learns and takes offense
    ..and breaks up with me on this pretense

    If we should fuck with break up sex
    ..it's cuz it's better when he's your ex
    And in the afterglow, if he proposes
    .."yes" is only polite, heaven knowes

    I throw this ring because I'm late
    ..that's all it takes our bonds to break
    And move away if he moves near
    ..Lord, make me more mature next year

    Amen
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    Sep 09, 2007 4:40 AM GMT
    LOL - GREAT!!!

    R
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    Sep 09, 2007 5:14 AM GMT
    I know I shouldn't be laughing as someone's frustration and problems, but Caslon's reply was one of the most amazing, creative, and hilarious things I've ever read.
  • metlboy

    Posts: 105

    Sep 09, 2007 6:23 AM GMT
    Jesus H. Christ. Talk about a bunch of self-inflicted problems. To think there was a time when 18 year olds were considered adults.
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    Sep 09, 2007 6:25 AM GMT
    I actually enjoyed the poem myself. I was joking about moving. Yeah he actually just called me today about his own personal stalker. According to him he let the guy give him head the other day which i thought was hillarious because now the guy is sending love letters to his house. Yeah i can admit that i'm not all together as well as indecisive on relationship matters but i still try. My first two relationships went well and ended well. I'm not really used to being stalked by my ex but it is quite flattering not really scary as well as a bit annoying. He is actually the only relationship that i have been in where i have ever cheated. Of course i was never really happy either. I think the main problem was that we simply weren't meant for each other and we hadn't gotten to truly know each other first.
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    Sep 09, 2007 6:31 AM GMT
    Jesus "H" christ? what's the h stand for?
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    Sep 09, 2007 9:41 AM GMT
    wow that confusing

    HAHA you maybe sluts becasuse break up sex?

    sex is sex

    Travv
    Good luck
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Sep 09, 2007 10:45 AM GMT
    Alex

    What a pickle you've found yourself in.

    As some of the other posters have said. You're young and fairly inexperienced and are at the point in your life when these relationship problems seem the be all and end all. But they're not, and by this time next year you won't even remeber this guy. My advice is to ignore him and his calls and get on with your life.

    I've read some of your posts on other topics and know you are an intelligent and together guy. Emotional issues and relationship problems can be a hassle to even the best of us though, so don't get down about it.

    Hang on in there, it'll get better and he'll move on.

    Lozx

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 09, 2007 10:52 AM GMT
    Nothing like being young again. Throwing ring, fucking each other to get even. Sorry for being kinda rude, but it sound like some teenager love , puppy love sort of things (really cute, though)

    I admit I am a little bit jealous of your guys. After all at my age I will look like a fool if I behave like you.
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    Sep 09, 2007 1:40 PM GMT
    "Jesus "H" christ? what's the h stand for?"

    Haploid
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    Sep 09, 2007 2:27 PM GMT
    Haploid? awesome!
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    Sep 09, 2007 2:28 PM GMT
    I love plants.
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    Sep 09, 2007 2:33 PM GMT
    Another problem is i was in love with someone else the whole time. So now he stalks me while at the same time asking me for advice on how to get rid of his own stalker. I told him to do what i did. lol I think it's a friendly stalker friend relationship. Everytime he talks about a cute guy or girl he met I always ask him to date that person. He's like but there is only one guy that i want.

    Does everybody want what they can't have?
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    Sep 10, 2007 5:53 PM GMT
    bonjour everybody
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Sep 10, 2007 6:13 PM GMT
    ...this is EXACTLY why I would never go back to my teens or twenties...reading this was exhausting...

    To answer your last question...

    Many of us DO desire what we don't have, but the mark of adulthood is learning delayed gratification...working toward something and finding the reward later on...[i.e. don't let your dick rule your behavior]...

    ...also, most studies find that those who are content with what they have rather than worry what they are missing tend to live happier, healthier lives...

    OK, done with my public school announcement...

    - David