"We Love You, But..." How Tragedy Taught One Evangelical Mom How to Truly Love Her Gay Son

  • MiamiRealJock

    Posts: 78

    Jun 06, 2013 3:18 AM GMT
    A Christian Mother recently shared her powerful story via Facebook in hopes of teaching others through her mistakes. She tells of the journey that started when her twelve-year old son came out to her, and the tragic ending brought on by her lack of understanding and unwillingness to accept that her son was gay.

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    She describes the mistakes she made, led by her strict religious beliefs, which ultimately contributed to her son’s downward spiral. It is a story of a mother’s unconditional love for her gay son who truly thought she was doing what was best for him, and is shared in the hopes that mothers and fathers around the world will learn to love and accept their children just as they are.

    http://www.thegailygrind.com/2013/06/05/we-love-you-but-how-tragedy-taught-one-evangelical-mom-how-to-truly-love-her-gay-son/

    Feel free to share your own stories below:



  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 06, 2013 3:31 AM GMT
    sad icon_cry.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jun 06, 2013 4:02 AM GMT
    I'm sorry. I can't read it. For me this stuff hits too close to home and is just too painful. I still hold a TON of anger and rage at my "Christian" icon_rolleyes.gif family. Hypocrites all.
  • MiamiRealJock

    Posts: 78

    Jun 06, 2013 4:11 AM GMT
    This story actually reminded me of the powerful film "Prayers for Bobby" starring Sigourney Weaver.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 06, 2013 4:18 AM GMT
    MiamiRealJock saidThis story actually reminded me of the powerful film "Prayers for Bobby" starring Sigourney Weaver.


    Seen this quite a while back, can't remember it too well, but I know I thought it was a very good movie. Here it is on Youtube in its entirety
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    Jun 06, 2013 4:18 AM GMT
    I cried icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2013 4:29 AM GMT
    It's a very sad story indeed.
    Hopefully this isn't insensitive, just thought to chime in though and say not all Christians are like that.
    I am very close with some people who are Christians that have gay relatives (inclusive of immediate family) and they aren't like that.
    I have cousins who are Christian and out and their parent's have not disowned them in any way.
    Sorry for going off on a tangeant.
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    Jun 06, 2013 4:50 AM GMT
    charlitos saidI cried icon_sad.gif


    a lot here icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2013 5:03 AM GMT
    Hah .. fuck.
    christians who HATE aren't even close to the message of love preached over there,
    i dont have second thoughts for educated & developed people of the West engaging into atrocious behavior to gays ,
    they really make me sick,
    they mentally suck u if not physically , & here the other 'brother' Islam KILLS us .. shame on anyone, who does this , u are a human first ,religions are man made things..

    im an evangelist too at times (my , these people are noway near converting techniques )
    im def. proud of being a christian , these weirdo's aren't christians but imposters
    fuck em all
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    Jun 06, 2013 5:10 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    MiamiRealJock saidThis story actually reminded me of the powerful film "Prayers for Bobby" starring Sigourney Weaver.


    Seen this quite a while back, can't remember it too well, but I know I thought it was a very good movie. Here it is on Youtube in its entirety


    Spookily enough, the actual overpass from which Bobby jumped is barely visible at the right edge of that still shot icon_sad.gif
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    Jun 06, 2013 3:33 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidsad icon_cry.gif



    The big secret of life is that we ultimately make our own choices. We have free will. Its supreme egotism to believe that one is responsible for the life path of another human being. Did the Kid believe he was responsible for his Mom's downward spiral into religion?
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Jun 06, 2013 4:59 PM GMT
    I couldn't finish it, it was too sad.
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    Jun 06, 2013 5:41 PM GMT
    It should be read from every pulpit this Sunday morning.

    Here's some ideas:

    Print copies and mail them to every church within a 5 or 10 mile radius of your home.

    Make copies and leave them in the vestibule or pews of local churches.

    Post on your facebook page

    Mail a copy to religious parents you know who may be struggling with the same situation.

    Lets not read this heartrending story and say oh, how sad and then do nothing about it. We can all do something.

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    Jun 06, 2013 6:08 PM GMT
    Alpha13 said
    AMoonHawk saidsad icon_cry.gif



    The big secret of life is that we ultimately make our own choices. We have free will. Its supreme egotism to believe that one is responsible for the life path of another human being. Did the Kid believe he was responsible for his Mom's downward spiral into religion?


    WRONG! Some choices are made for us.

    Did you choose if you were going to be gay or straight?

    Did you choose which parents you were to be born to? Which religion they brought you up in?

    Did you choose your intellectual level? Who wouldn't want an IQ iof 160? But you get what you got.

    Do people with congenital birth defects choose those for themselves? Who wouldn't want to be physically whole?

    Yes, as adults we ultimately make our own choices but they are invariably influenced by our particular set of circumstances. That's why it's very rarely a good idea to judge others; you are not privy to their particular set of life circumstances. You don't know their mental capacity or how they process informaton to arrive at the choices they've made. So while you may have had similar, you will never have the same, so don't judge.

    So while it may be "supreme egotism to believe that one is responsible for the life path of another human being," it's not unreasonable to see your part in the effect you may have on someone else and what effect that has on the decisions they may ultimately make.

    None of us lives in a vacuum.

  • Sportsfan1

    Posts: 479

    Jun 06, 2013 6:33 PM GMT
    A very moving story. An inspiration to so many parents. I hope the family finds peace.
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    Jun 06, 2013 6:49 PM GMT
    NerdMonastery saidIt's a very sad story indeed.
    Hopefully this insensitive, just thought to chime in though and say not all Christians are like that.
    I am very close with some people who are Christians that have gay relatives (inclusive of immediate family) and they aren't like that.
    I have cousins who are Christian and out and their parent's have not disowned them in any way.
    Sorry for going off on a tangeant.

    Right - and there are also non-religious people who disown their gay children too.
    That said, I didn't read the article because I knew I'd be enraged.
    I'm just glad that, through the decades of my life here in NY, I can see more and more intolerance in the straight world for other straight people who they've heard make hateful comments. Goofing on gays is still too much for me but disgust and judgements I rarely hear myself any more.
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    Jun 06, 2013 7:03 PM GMT
    This is just an educated guess but I don't think the majority of people who have a problem with gays think, "Gee, I don't know how I feel about homosexuality. Let me read what the bible says... OK now I hate homosexuality because this latest translation says it's bad "

    I think they already have a problem with it, can't open their minds, and use the bible to back up their feelings so they can look like they're really just trying to do God's will.

    At least today psychologists are saying it's normal and not a choice. I can't imagine how confused about themselves the gay people were before that.

    Does anyone remember the Roseanne episode where they had a gar bar (something like that) and a woman said, "This is convert-a-hetero night. I thought ASSHOLES.

  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Jun 06, 2013 9:00 PM GMT
    Very sad that parents would bring such harshness on to their own kid.
    I'd go on and on about how I hate religion and when people say "God did this" or "God changed our views because..". But I'll not rant on. Makes me in a shitty mood.

    My parents are really religious. They probably won't take It well when I tell them. Oh well.
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    Jun 06, 2013 9:03 PM GMT
    Honestly, if parents shun or doesn't accept their children for who they really are, because of some religious nonsense, then they aren't fit to be parents really.
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    Jun 06, 2013 9:04 PM GMT
    MikeW saidI'm sorry. I can't read it. For me this stuff hits too close to home and is just too painful. I still hold a TON of anger and rage at my "Christian" icon_rolleyes.gif family. Hypocrites all.


    My friends and family are reaaaaally cool with me being gay. However, I wonder sometimes if they really are or what they might be saying behind my back.

    Do you really think people are ok with "us"?
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    Jun 06, 2013 10:08 PM GMT
    Very sad indeedicon_sad.gif
  • MiamiRealJock

    Posts: 78

    Jun 06, 2013 10:11 PM GMT
    Marsu said
    MikeW saidI'm sorry. I can't read it. For me this stuff hits too close to home and is just too painful. I still hold a TON of anger and rage at my "Christian" icon_rolleyes.gif family. Hypocrites all.


    My friends and family are reaaaaally cool with me being gay. However, I wonder sometimes if they really are or what they might be saying behind my back.

    Do you really think people are ok with "us"?



    I think many 'tolerate' it more than accept it. I think what matters most is that they love you and care about you, and would be there for you in times of trouble.

    Sometimes people need time to evolve on an issue. Glad you got a supporting group of family and friends!
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    Jun 06, 2013 10:12 PM GMT
    Marsu saidDo you really think people are ok with "us"?


    Logically... Yes.
    Emotionally... No

    I can't help noticing that many big supporters will make questionable jokes about gays if given the opportunity.
  • tidus11

    Posts: 31

    Jun 06, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    Oooof, thanks for sharing. Reminds me of my folks who still love me very much, but just wish I would also make the right decision in my life choices...

    Well, this is a great reminder of how lucky many of us are to be where we are today.

    Thanks.
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    Jun 07, 2013 12:23 AM GMT
    MiamiRealJock said
    Marsu said
    MikeW saidI'm sorry. I can't read it. For me this stuff hits too close to home and is just too painful. I still hold a TON of anger and rage at my "Christian" icon_rolleyes.gif family. Hypocrites all.


    My friends and family are reaaaaally cool with me being gay. However, I wonder sometimes if they really are or what they might be saying behind my back.

    Do you really think people are ok with "us"?



    I think many 'tolerate' it more than accept it. I think what matters most is that they love you and care about you, and would be there for you in times of trouble.

    Sometimes people need time to evolve on an issue. Glad you got a supporting group of family and friends!


    JohnSpotter said
    Marsu saidDo you really think people are ok with "us"?


    Logically... Yes.
    Emotionally... No

    I can't help noticing that many big supporters will make questionable jokes about gays if given the opportunity.


    Yeah, I mean I feel really lucky that I have a supporting group. But still sometimes it sucks that they just DON'T get it. I mean we don't discriminate or talk behing straight people's backs you know?