How do you feel about this reason 'dating' (for lack of better word) apps and sites don't work?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2013 6:25 AM GMT
    Because apparently, nobody thinks meeting a guy for dinner/drinks and kissing each other is a date anymore, fuck...

    http://www.policymic.com/articles/27086/why-online-dating-in-new-york-city-doesn-t-work

    This article talks about how people online are seen as disposable and the attitude of there's always something better online as being reasons many online interactions never make it past a couple dates. I believe it too, as this explains why so many guys I meet online never make it past 3rd base.

    After having 2 different guys in the past week I met online exhibit disturbing flaky behavior, I decided to say screw both of them and remove my Grindr profile and do what I usually do, and just go out. Hit it off well with someone that same night. BOOM. That easy. Something that Grindr guys would have taken 150 billion years to do. Meet in person. I find online sites and apps are good if you're visiting a city on vacation and just looking for fun or date while you're there, because you go to bars you don't really know people.


    ArticleAccording to a New York Times article, psychology studies show that the more choices one has, the unhappier one becomes.

    ArticleIronically, while the option to meet new people increases, it becomes more and more difficult to build a serious relationship.

    ArticleThe result is that people are now disposable, just like items in a shopping cart. The smallest problem experienced with a potential partner causes need for replacement.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2013 9:22 AM GMT
    The link doesn't work but based on the article quotes, I can see the point. With more choices in dating, then the possibility of being rejected is higher and that can be discouraging to a guy who is serious about finding a relationship. But I have read stories from RJ members who have found their love through online mediums so finding a successful relationship is possible. It just seems rare!

    I tried to goggle that link and can't find it. I'm curious about that article.
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Jun 07, 2013 5:48 PM GMT
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZt-r7ZQXqnpg4IhUbgO0
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 07, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    Haven't read the article, but I'm inclined to agree. Specially, since I am in NYC. There's a feeling of disposability that sets in as you meet men..that there will always be a better, sexier one out there. This just isnt true. After a while, your options just dry up and you'll be just lonely, online and off. I'm at that point.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2013 8:41 PM GMT
    Maybe no one wants to date you because you're a hooker
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    PR_GMR saidHaven't read the article, but I'm inclined to agree. Specially, since I am in NYC. There's a feeling of disposability that sets in as you meet men..that there will always be a better, sexier one out there.


    I have also observed this in SF.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2013 8:54 PM GMT
    I agree with this article completely. Meeting guys online and through apps never really seems to works out, at least in my experience. It's because they feel they have too much choice and don't want to work out anything because you're literally disposable to them.

    I've done the same too I'm not going to lie so I'm not an exception to the rule. When you meet someone for the first time in person you're more inclined to stay connected and work shit out.

    I've met countless guys online (for dates not to hook up) and right after the date I can see them online grindr or whatever it is. Hey they probably saw me online too. It's a vicious cycle of recycled men all dating each other and letting go.
  • waynerd

    Posts: 32

    Jun 07, 2013 9:40 PM GMT
    I can't speak for the larger cities, but in smaller ones, people use such apps mainly for trading pics or hooking up. But honestly, it just boils down to the intent of the user of said app.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2013 9:48 PM GMT
    I agree with the disposability for sure but I also feel that a lot of these men on the social dating apps and online sites are very judgmental based on what you may write on your profile or even how you look in your photos. Maybe the way you smile or dress or whatever it may be and people end up limiting themselves and end up being limited in the amount of people they could actually take a chance on

    For example in my case I like to smile. A lot. Especially in my photos and the way I dress is what is in style and what you may see in a magazine and people perceive that as being feminine and flamboyant meanwhile my ass is dying here for August to come so the preseason of the NFL can start and warm me up for the regular season. I like dressing nice and wearing form fitting clothes and style my hair but that has nothing to do with my interests and my character traits

    It doesn't get anymore judgmental than a gay guy and they're always ALWAYS looking for something better so thats my opinion
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    Going out?

    wthisthis2013.jpg
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Jun 07, 2013 10:16 PM GMT
    I do agree with the attitudes covered in this article. But when you meet someone that really makes sparks, it might stick.

    I met my last boyfriend online. It lasted three and a half years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2013 3:00 AM GMT
    Until the OP fixes the link:

    http://www.policymic.com/articles/27086/why-online-dating-in-new-york-city-doesn-t-work


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2013 9:52 AM GMT
    tuckers_kahuna saidI do agree with the attitudes covered in this article. But when you meet someone that really makes sparks, it might stick.I met my last boyfriend online. It lasted three and a half years.


    Well TBH, I think online dating and phone apps are almost completely different playing fields in itself as well. I find phone apps VERY superficial. Meeting guys online seemed a bit better off.

    I've also analyzed that perhaps I should probably avoid the over 30 crowd as well, but they are the ones who are usually serious about meeting up. I know there's some tempting sexy 30+ guys out there (one i met was a dancer at one of the big gay clubs here and gets tips left and right), and it's not a blow towards any of you. But they'll go on a date, they'll meet up, they'll be consistent at first...but then for no reason can't take it to the next level. As I said before, many (all) of them have just gotten out of relationships and are just looking for fun, going on dates just for the sake of going on them without any purpose. I have to stick to people who are in the 25 and under category for right now.
  • shawn06

    Posts: 337

    Jun 08, 2013 10:03 AM GMT
    I believe today's culture is a flaky one. Even some people I consider friends have no issue flaking out on plans, It hasn't always been that way but the easier access to social media seems to have made it that way.

    But I agree with you OP and I think the worst type of person is a flake.