Does God hate me? (rant)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    I am beginning to suspect I am the victim of a horrible spiritual curse.

    I apologize in advance for the "patheticism" but its the truth..

    I am 23 years old and a virgin....the most I've ever done with another human being is make out. I'm not interested in sex, but the things that turn me on would be considered "homoerotic" I guess. I only get hit on by guys and girls who are MORBIDLY unattractive or elderly, which I am assuming says a lot about my appearance lol and they too take off when I tell them I am not interested in randomized sex.

    There are various sports i'd like to pick up (it would mean the world to me to be apart of a team and be accepted for who I am), but I can't find anyone who wants to work with me or teach me anything (i've even made postings offering money and still can't get any responses). I would like just more general male friends (I have a significant amount of attractive female friends who I play Dr.Phil to, then when things get back to normal in their lives, I don't hear from them again until they need guidance once more) I can't seem to find male bonding anywhere. I can't even obtain a gym buddy.

    The only place people seem to like me is at my job..my career is the only thing I excel at. I've never been bullied or called an asshole or anything like that, but I feel invisible to my age group....

    I then look at my best friend (who I've known since I was 12), he's 24, white, gay and attractive (clearly the world is his garden lol and I tell him all the time) He just got hired at a law firm that has a softball/basketball team and they offered for him to join, he said he didn't know how to play and they welcomed him anyway.People always talk to him, he seems to make friends very easy....guys offer to go work out with him etc. So clearly the opportunities exists for certain people and come natural to them.

    ....why am I so fucked? Its getting to a point where I no longer desire to live. Is it because of how I look? is it because I don't want sex? I don't understand...I read my profile on here which is 100% honest and I think from an outside perspective (wow, this is really ..just... pathetic).I'll be 24 next month and dreading that I have to see another year in this life...I don't want to live to be 40 with no memories of an enjoyed youth.
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    Jun 09, 2013 3:59 AM GMT
    I've an asexual cousin in a 30plus year nonlesbian relationship with her female nonlover. When they visit me I give them separate rooms. They are inseparable. We would never even think of inviting one without the other. They have a wonderful relationship and I've no doubt that they will remain together for their entire lives. They're so very supportive of each other. It's quite beautiful.

    Though I suspect you're in the minority, sex is not important to everyone. Outside of knowing my cousin I'm not familiar with that orientation or preference or--not to be insulting--but I frankly don't know what to call it, sorry. So I just googled support groups and found this http://asexuality.meetup.com/ .

    There's another poster on here who is free to ID himself if he likes who I believe has noted that he likes guys but isn't real into what most people get into for sex but he does enjoy male bonding, musclely stuff and all that. Maybe you're into frottage or other types of nonpenetrative sex. Give yourself some time to explore yourself and this world. You might find you like it.
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    Jun 09, 2013 4:00 AM GMT
    "I am beginning to suspect I am the victim of a horrible spiritual curse."

    LN, I am a real fairy godfather. I am gay and also have god children; there are no better credentials, lol. As such I hereby relieve you from your curse.

    -Doug of meninlove
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    Jun 09, 2013 4:14 AM GMT
    Cheer up man!
    If you think god hates you, you should go to Haiti & see how miserable their daily living is, food is so scarce there, that they eat mud to fill their stomachs just to suppress their hunger.
    Imagine how tiny your problem is compared to them? you'll be very thankful for everything you have.
    Suffering is everywhere, ability to withstand is a choice...
    The people in Haiti chose to live so that they can feed on real food some other day.
    Remember that, Sex is not life, it is only a small part our life.

    Everyone has problems.
    Don't compare yourselves with others, compare others with you.
    Of all the lives, human life is the most precious one & you're thinking to end it?
    Trust me, I've been there before...now I'm totally different, I want you too to come to my side & see the world how beautiful it is even though there's suffering everywhere.

    Once again...smile, face the pain, don't let sadness and desires(ego) take you down.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 09, 2013 4:24 AM GMT
    We each have our own paths in life .. some times we find someone to walk along side us
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQKXcbSvrBl7d6wU5HEztK

    But most of the time we walk it alone
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQb4VT2EfeV-LkhzPSCQQQ

    There are many choices in life
    split-path.jpg

    And each choice takes us to a new place
    path-flagstone-m-m.jpg?300:300

    The path is not as long as we think because we can't see beyond each curve
    The-Path.jpg

    But before you know the end is in site
    the-path-to-spirituality.jpg

    So enjoy each day, because every day brings on a new adventure
    marilyn_3.png
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jun 09, 2013 4:47 AM GMT
    LatinoNegro saidI am beginning to suspect I am the victim of a horrible spiritual curse.

    ...the most I've ever done with another human being is make out. I'm not interested in sex, but the things that turn me on would be considered "homoerotic" I guess.

    I would like just more general male friends

    I feel invisible to my age group....

    ....why am I so fucked? Its getting to a point where I no longer desire to live.

    ...I don't want to live to be 40 with no memories of an enjoyed youth.


    Your curse has been removed, but some good thoughts and cheering you on from random strangers on RJ are not going to change your life. You llve in NJ (a relatively civilized place). Find a good therapist/psychologist. What they do is help people like you feel better about themselves, find out who they are, and get on with life. It could really help you.
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    Jun 09, 2013 4:49 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidWe each have out own paths in life .. some times we find someone to walk along side us ...


    That was nice, AMoonHawk. Most appreciated.
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    Jun 09, 2013 4:52 AM GMT
    Are you the "go-get 'em" kind of person, or are you the "let's wait for it to happen" kinda guy? In all areas, friendship, workout buddies, relationships, etc.? How might that distinction inform your situation?
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    Jun 09, 2013 12:30 PM GMT
    If you believe gob hates you, then you're probably right. Simple solution, stop believing in gob and all other make believe things. For the longest time I was sure that Captain Crunch had it in for me, because whenever I enjoyed his cereal my teeth would hurt and I would get upset. Then I turned 7, realized Captain Crunch was fictional and his cereal was a toxic mess almost completely made of sugar and good marketing. As is your gob.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 09, 2013 1:38 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidIf you believe gob hates you, then you're probably right. Simple solution, stop believing in gob and all other make believe things. For the longest time I was sure that Captain Crunch had it in for me, because whenever I enjoyed his cereal my teeth would hurt and I would get upset. Then I turned 7, realized Captain Crunch was fictional and his cereal was a toxic mess almost completely made of sugar and good marketing. As is your gob.


    I know atheists are hated, but I love their logic. It's so true. There is no Captain Crunch. You can't wait for a magical fictional character to love you. It's a waste of humanity.... Now, let's be serious, you'll probably disregard any nonreligious advice, because it's like telling a kid Santa isn't true; they're just going to believe what their mom told them. In your case, you'd rather be on Santa's naughty list than face the facts about Santa being fiction. But good luck anyway!! Hopefully someone else who feels cursed by a cereal mascot (gob) will want to make out with you. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll meet your superficial criteria of what's attractive.icon_smile.gif Better yet, when you get to heaven, Jesus will definitely give you a pity Fuck. Jesus looks like me, btw, only he's hotter, wears a halo, and knows magic!!! And he ALWAYS puts out. He especially likes feeding you his meat, which is ironically breadlike. Indeed, He is risen!!! Now go pray for that holy cock!
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jun 09, 2013 2:24 PM GMT
    I duno, man. I really don't.

    If you're seriously depressed and unhappy with your life, which it sounds like you are, then it is up to you to find out why that is and do something about it. If it is some sort of spiritual curse, then you have to find out how to undue or block it. If you think god hates you, then you need to find out why, what you need to do to find forgiveness or whatever.

    Of course I don't personally believe in any of that stuff. Don't get me wrong, I *do* believe the human mind is extremely complex and powerful and can invent entire worlds that seem totally believable and real. Hell, we all do it every day. What I'm talking about is something far more powerful than what we "think" or even "feel," emotionally. Its the whole framework of our sense of self and existence.

    Let me ask you this: Does *anything* make you happy, ever, even just a little bit? Ice cream? Puppies? Sunsets? *Anything*?? I know you have a fetish and that's totally cool. At least there is something that 'turns you on' in a way. But I'm wondering if that's all there is, if there isn't more?

    Voice of experience: We suffer when we concentrate on what we don't have to the exclusion of what we do have. Everything you say you want is perfectly reasonable (or so it seems to me anyway) and I can't see any reason why you can't have at least some if not all of it. No, you're not ugly. You might be someone other people find difficult to relate to, don't know about that. Can't tell just be reading words.

    Whatever. From my limited point of view, there's nothing standing in your way except yourself. So if that is true, something in you needs to change, let go, open up to possibilities that you're not seeing or letting in. I know that sounds stupid but at base what are we but transformers of energy? We take energy in, transform it, and put energy out. So... if things aren't working *for us* then we need to look at it from an energy POV. What kind of energy are we putting out to the people and the world around us?

    It does make a difference.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 09, 2013 2:41 PM GMT
    One more thing. Assuming God is real, and we're all created in HIS image, then rejecting people because they are "morbidly unattractive" is an insult to God.
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    Jun 09, 2013 2:45 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidOne more thing. Assuming God is real, and we're all created in HIS image, then rejecting people because they are "morbidly unattractive" is an insult to God.

    +1
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    Jun 09, 2013 3:12 PM GMT
    Believe it or not, God has nothing to do with this. It's like an atheist saying OMG; for in this regard, it's just an expression of the OP's mind seeking an acceptable-to-his-way-of-thinking reason for why he's unhappy with his life.

    Sometimes the prop is not the performance. Don't be fooled by what you're presented on stage. instead go back to the original novel upon which the screenplay was based.
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    Jun 09, 2013 6:23 PM GMT
    TerraFirma
    Are you the "go-get 'em" kind of person, or are you the "let's wait for it to happen" kinda guy? In all areas, friendship, workout buddies, relationships, etc.? Have might that distinction inform your situation
    ?
    Well in college I got my internship cause I tracked the director down online, wrote him a letter, called him, applied, made sure he got my application...etc. and 4 years later now I am gainfully employed with a job that has great benefits all because of my actions.
    I try to do the same thing online with socialization (since people I know in real life are limited) I don't get the same response. It would be a little weird if i went in public and just imposed myself on complete strangers.
    HottJoe saidOne more thing. Assuming God is real, and we're all created in HIS image, then rejecting people because they are "morbidly unattractive" is an insult to God.

    Well the Bible I read has tons of examples where some are described as beautiful and attractive, while others are described as ugly (I.E. curse of ham, etc.) I'm not exactly 100% in tuned with my Christianity, but I am not disconnected enough to say I am atheist. God if I insulted you, I am sorry.
    MikeWLet me ask you this: Does *anything* make you happy, ever, even just a little bit? Ice cream? Puppies? Sunsets? *Anything*?? I know you have a fetish and that's totally cool. At least there is something that 'turns you on' in a way. But I'm wondering if that's all there is, if there isn't more?
    Babies smiling and laughing at me in the street always makes me feel good, Sunsets are awesome but they normally result in me making some sort of metaphorical correlation to whats going on in my life (especially if I'm at the park,unfortunately my job is adjacent to Stuyvesant HS...and seeing all the kids have fun on the basketball courts, soccer fields etc. next to the water really makes me emotional on certain days, the more I see people with their friends enjoying life, the lonelier I feel)Then I have Alcohol, which I wouldn't say makes me happy, but it makes me feel less of what I described.
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    Jun 09, 2013 6:25 PM GMT
    It is people that hate. God has nothing to do with it.
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    Jun 09, 2013 7:14 PM GMT
    Life sucks ass for most, if you look beyond yourself. But nobody really cares about you beyond your usefulness to them. There's seven billion people on this planet, attempting to prove their worth to each other. What are you waiting for, an invitation to live?

    If you were lucky enough to be raised by a mother and/or father who gave you unconditional love...well, count yourself lucky. However, that pattern does not extend to anyone else who doesn't know you exist or understand your usefulness. And it's not their job to figure that out. You'll have to admit that (since you've undertaken virtually no effort to get to know the other seven billion people around you).

    Of course the beautiful people get shit handed to them. They're beautiful! Having them nearby makes the other shitheads in the room feel important. That's useful, right? Oh, maybe they can have sex with him and feel validated for 20 seconds. "Look! A beautiful man had sex with me! I must be worthy of some of his saliva!"

    What is sex with you like? Do you have amazing cum-draining powers on both ends? Is the meat sack between those two holes enjoyable to look at while being drained?

    You're only cursed if you never ask--nor answer--any of these questions for yourself.
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    Jun 09, 2013 7:17 PM GMT
    Happiness is a choice.
    You happiness is no one else's responsibility. (incl your "god")
    No one owes you a reason to be happy.
    You have to find that out for yourself.
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    Jun 09, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio said
    If you were lucky enough to be raised by a mother and/or father who gave you unconditional love...well, count yourself lucky. However, that pattern does not extend to anyone else who doesn't know you exist or understand your usefulness. And it's not their job to figure that out. You'll have to admit that (since you've undertaken virtually no effort to get to know the other seven billion people around you).


    ...both my parents were dead by the time I turned 10..so no I wasn't lucky enough.


    As for everyone else, thanks for the responses guy, no further input is needed.