Hot Listing Etiquette

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 6:18 AM GMT
    is it NOT NORMAL, that I say "Thank You" when I get hot listed, cause I notice 7 out of 10 guys do not do the same....it's kind of like if someone gives you a compliment and you just ignore them. Or is rudeness in the gay world just something thats ok?.. bear with me, I'm learning.
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    Jun 10, 2013 7:11 AM GMT
    I don't think it's necessarily rude to not reply. After all, simply hot listing a guy without messaging him is pretty creepy (and yes I'm guilty of doing it often). Personally I like hearing back from guys after a hot listing. After all, it is basically an open invitation saying "I want to talk to you". I also understand if guys don't give a thank you message back. I've messaged back most of the guys that have hot listed me with a thanks, and this has often turned into pretty good conversation. But I understand why guys don't do it.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 10, 2013 7:13 AM GMT
    Avoid the Hotlist!!! It is a trap.
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    Jun 10, 2013 7:22 AM GMT
    You're over-thinking it. Hot listing is just a way for you to keep track of the guys you think are hot. Some guys say "thank you." Most guys don't. It doesn't mean they're rude. You didn't really do anything except click a link. If you want to talk to them, then send them a PM.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:42 AM GMT
    I say thank you to some hot listings. Sometimes I'm just making a quick stop to the RJ page and/or have higher priorities at that moment. I don't take it personally if someone doesn't say thank you. As another poster said, the hot listing is about my appreciation of another not about the other person appreciating my appreciation of them. Perhaps some hot listers see it as a "greeting" rather than a simple mouse click of someone they find attractive.

    I have no way of knowing what's going on in the life of the person I am hot listing. It's a bit self centered to think that a perfect stranger's life is wholly focused on thanking you for an internet compliment. Some gay men are too sensitive about this issue, in my humble opinion.
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    Jun 10, 2013 6:33 PM GMT
    Being kind to other people is not normal. However, I support your efforts to be abnormal.
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Jun 10, 2013 6:56 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidYou're over-thinking it. Hot listing is just a way for you to keep track of the guys you think are hot. Some guys say "thank you." Most guys don't. It doesn't mean they're rude. You didn't really do anything except click a link. If you want to talk to them, then send them a PM.


    /thread winner

    /end thread
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 7:03 PM GMT
    I'm more curious about buddy listing etiquette, frankly. I don't buddy list someone I've never chatted with, but others do it pretty regularly. icon_question.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 10, 2013 7:06 PM GMT
    MileHighYo saidI'm more curious about buddy listing etiquette, frankly. I don't buddy list someone I've never chatted with, but others do it pretty regularly. icon_question.gif


    Buddy listing is serious business. Your reputation is at stake.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 7:07 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Buddy listing is serious business. Your reputation is at stake.icon_rolleyes.gif


    As well as your popularity
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 7:13 PM GMT
    MileHighYo saidI'm more curious about buddy listing etiquette, frankly. I don't buddy list someone I've never chatted with, but others do it pretty regularly. icon_question.gif

    Some people take buddy listing as "these are my friends," while other people take it as "I want to be friends with you." Again, clicking on a link shouldn't be used in place of starting a conversation with someone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 7:16 PM GMT
    shortbutsweet saidBeing kind to other people is not normal. However, I support your efforts to be abnormal.
    Agreed
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 10, 2013 7:18 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    DudeInNOVA saidYou're over-thinking it. Hot listing is just a way for you to keep track of the guys you think are hot. Some guys say "thank you." Most guys don't. It doesn't mean they're rude. You didn't really do anything except click a link. If you want to talk to them, then send them a PM.

    Exactly so. No one is required to respond to you. It's nice if they do but not rude if they don't.


    Pretty much, this.

    No need to respond. It could a conversation starter, if the person hotlisting you is someone you're attracted to.. but otherwise, no need to bother with a 'Thank You'.
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Jun 10, 2013 11:22 PM GMT
    I always say "thank you!".
    If I like their profile or them ill try and start a conversation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:26 PM GMT
    I say thank you because i have manners, something i've noticed people lack on here if they are not attracted to you, they for get all about that word
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jun 10, 2013 11:36 PM GMT
    I never say "thank you" because I feel awkward. LOLzzz!
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Jun 10, 2013 11:42 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidAvoid the Hotlist!!! It is a trap.


    It's only a trap in a race thread war when someone attacks the lack of minority presence on your hotlist. Considering minorities probably only make up 25% of Realjock.
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1275

    Jun 10, 2013 11:49 PM GMT
    LOVELESS saidis it NOT NORMAL, that I say "Thank You" when I get hot listed, cause I notice 7 out of 10 guys do not do the same....it's kind of like if someone gives you a compliment and you just ignore them. Or is rudeness in the gay world just something thats ok?.. bear with me, I'm learning.


    I actually posted this exact same topic several months ago. I don't understand someone not even sending a simple "thanks". That doesn't require much effort on their part. I still remember someone's response
    to my post which was just classic. He said, 'If they didn't have the courtesy to even respond with a simple thanks, maybe they were not as hot as you thought they were".



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    There are rules to this?!?!?!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    Ok fair enough, the responses kind of put it in a different perspective. So, as homosexual men, do you guys only acknowledge/communicate with other males you are attracted to? ...as in your friends can only be ppl you find attractive? work out buds must be hot? etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:56 PM GMT
    I always say thank you. I find that maybe (this sounds like something I might do if I kept a hot list) they're a little shy to just come out and talk to me so it's a good conversation starter - same with leaving a photo comment. If they want to talk they'll talk when I reply if not then I get points for being polite. Win-win. icon_cool.gif

    Though I think out of the ...40 people who've hot listed me, only 2 of my thank yous actually resulted in conversation. Can't blame a guy for trying.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 10, 2013 11:59 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidAvoid the Hotlist!!! It is a trap.


    its-a-trap-475.jpg
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1275

    Jun 11, 2013 12:00 AM GMT
    Genre saidThere are rules to this?!?!?!


    It's called common courtesy and politeness. Have we come to a point now where technology has taken over so much no one even thinks about those things anymore? That's pretty sad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2013 12:02 AM GMT
    Some people don't think very much of hotlisting. That's why they don't reply. Others take it as a serious compliment and they say thanks. It also depends on the manners of the person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2013 12:03 AM GMT
    LOVELESS saidOk fair enough, the responses kind of put it in a different perspective. So, as homosexual men, do you guys only acknowledge/communicate with other males you are attracted to? ...as in your friends can only be ppl you find attractive? work out buds must be hot? etc.

    We're talking about hot lists. They are only about attraction. If you want to talk about whether people only respond to PMs from people they find attractive, that's a different topic.