Same Guy Syndrome

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    Jun 10, 2013 9:48 AM GMT
    OK this question is for guys who are not mean guys.
    Have you ever met a guy online and his photo lead you on? Then you meet but didn't hit it off with him. You had an OK conversation, little to nothing in common, and the sex chemistry wasn't there either. Not on scent, site or shaking hands. And then you notice by the way the guy comes onto you, you felt you couldn't just be friends because he was like head over heels falling for you instantly obsessively. So afterwards you basically reject this guy and depart telling him hes not really your type (that's what I do). And then he gets angry and of course you realize now hes mental. But then months and years past and this guy starts to pop up everywhere you go virtually online. He sends you 'hit on' messages. Of course you ignore them because you know you don't want to lead the guy on, and you've already made it clear you're not interested and it wasn't a good memory reflecting on the experience of just meeting him. But he messages you like you never met him before or he forgot, or worse he remembers and is stalking. However you clearly remember. Has anyone else experienced the "Same Guy" syndrome? Where no matter where you go online the same guy finds you and hits on you even when you've ignored, blocked and told him in person he's not your type?
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:29 AM GMT
    Definitely not to this extinct but I've had 1 or 2 guys who had trouble accepting my lack of interest. I tried to be straight forward & explain that they should invest their energy in someone else. But once it did come out as "leave me the fuck alone, creeper".

    I would advise staying away from lies and being honest as we as careful. Report them if the communication is through a website or app.
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    Jun 10, 2013 6:24 PM GMT
    What you have here is a garden variety stalker. I agree with Enigmatic_me that being firm from the beginning helps prevent these situations from developing. I would suggest being gentle, though. Honesty does not have to be brutal.

    The problem with "You're not my type" is that stalkers always respond "Well, what's your type?" or "Why not?" In other words, they see it as a conversation starter. I prefer, "I'm sorry, we're not a match, but good luck in your search!" It's polite. It's firm. And, in my experience, people who aren't stalkers appreciate the honesty. I'm sure you can come up with your own variation.

    Of course, that ship has sailed once you meet the guy in person.

    As you know, there are many people who delight in gratuitous meanness. You can choose not to be one of them.
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    Jun 14, 2013 10:15 AM GMT
    In the newspaper personals days, I remember meeting a guy who was all over me but, when he saw I was not into *him*, gave me the old "You're not my type" line. Fine with me.
    My favorite though was when I met a guy who wrote he was "very very good looking" although I knew it meant nothing. And it didn't. He was pretty plain which was OK with me but I got rejected with the the words "As you can see, I'm very very good looking and you're not."
    I told him, "Oh, yes, I understand."
    People who are nuts scare me.
    But I digress.
    I'll be interested to follow your posts and see who's hitting on you. That should be plenty of people so feel free to give us a clue by posting SOMEONE STOP THAT STALKER!