Love advice needed

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 1:00 PM GMT
    I saw this handsome bodybuilder exercising at the gym last week. I wanted to meet him so offered to spot him. He said, "No thanks."
    I thought, "Wow - aren't *we* stuck up" but I'm a nice forgiving guy and asked him twice more after that. He kept making believe he didn't need a spot. But believe me he did. He had the treadmill up to at least 12.

    I ran into him (well... followed him) into the locker room later. I gave him a nice hello and said "Remember me?"
    He said, "Sorry... No."
    I thought, "Well color this guy bitch sienna" but laughed like I thought he was making joke.

    The day after, I ran into him in the parking lot as he was leaving the gym.
    (I had been sitting in the car waiting for him. He was in there for *three* hours. That just shows how shallow he is.)
    I 'm clever and made believe I was coincidentally jogging around his car.
    I said "Hey buddy. Good work-out today?"
    He didn't answer but rolled his eyes as he got into the car.
    Why is this guy giving me such mixed signals?
    Rolled eyes are gay-code for "interesteeeeeed!"
    I know this because I get it all the time.

    Then the day after that I caught him in the locker room again. He had his shirt off and I almost fainted from the size of his muscles.
    I wanted to look at his chest up close so I leaned over and smelled it. I said "What's that cologne you're wearing?"
    (clever, right? Well, not really. He had just gotten out of the shower.)
    Then I made believe I stumbled and smashed my face between his pecs. My nose went all the way into the cleavage! It was heaven.
    But you know what that bitch said?
    "Back off gay boy."
    The hell?
    If he isn't gay, why is he talking to me all the time?
    Why would he say that to me?

    I need advice. How do I make him know we're right for each other?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 2:11 PM GMT
    You know stalking is illegal, right?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 10, 2013 2:20 PM GMT
    He's just playing hard to get. Try offering a batch of homemade cookies, along with poetry that is inspired by him. Maybe start photographing him when he doesn't know your watching and leave the pics pressed under his windshield wipers so he find them on his own. If he has a dog, learn the dog's name and sneak food to it so it loves you. Most importantly, insert your life seamlessly into his, by befriending his friends and family, getting hired for a superior position at his company, and never, ever stop circling his house when you are lonely. You never know when he'll finally come around!!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 2:27 PM GMT
    He's clearly in love with you, but he just needs a bit of a push.
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSuVQaRivsZhHP8u85BqPQ
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 2:34 PM GMT
    Start converting your crawl-space into a cozy love den.
    And remember: Chloroform and Zip-ties are the perfect way to say I Love You.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 2:39 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidYou know stalking is illegal, right?


    So is the inability to detect sarcasm. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 10, 2013 2:49 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    paulflexes saidYou know stalking is illegal, right?


    So is the inability to detect sarcasm. icon_rolleyes.gif


    You never know with JohnSpotter. The other day I caught him creeping in my bushes, and he swore to me that he was just looking for a lost contact lens.icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 2:55 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Scruffypup said
    paulflexes saidYou know stalking is illegal, right?


    So is the inability to detect sarcasm. icon_rolleyes.gif


    You never know with JohnSpotter. The other day I caught him creeping in my bushes, and he swore to me that he was just looking for a lost contact lens.icon_confused.gif


    So that's why he's called "Spotter."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Scruffypup said
    paulflexes saidYou know stalking is illegal, right?


    So is the inability to detect sarcasm. icon_rolleyes.gif


    You never know with JohnSpotter. The other day I caught him creeping in my bushes, and he swore to me that he was just looking for a lost contact lens.icon_confused.gif


    original?v=mpbl-1&px=-1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 4:16 PM GMT
    "You never know with JohnSpotter. The other day I caught him creeping in my bushes, and he swore to me that he was just looking for a lost contact lens."

    I only *let* you catch me, Joe.
    You really know how to wrestle though.
    (We wrestled a long time but I couldn't get his shirt off. I mean, really, who wrestles with his shirt on?)

    Thanks for the good advice, everyone!
    I'm drugging him and tying him up tonight. I can see now that he's looking for that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    Aristoshark saidI heard he likes to play with your Wii, Joe.

    There's nothing wii about Joe.
    *wink* *nudge*

    (love the gif)
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jun 10, 2013 11:03 PM GMT
    What scares me is that there are actually a lot of guys that think this way.

    Myself being gay, even if a guy I find relatively attractive approaches me in the gym I'll be taken back a bit. I'm more there for "me time", and to smash my body apart.

    That isn't to say I'm not receptive.... I certainly am, but I feel slowly becoming friends would be better than leaping into it.

    I'd rather take a "hey how are you" rather than a "do you need a spot" any day.... many find it offensive to be offered a spot and will take it that you think they're weak and/or requiring your help.


    There was this one decently attractive graduate student that followed me around the university gym ..... into the stretching room placing himself right behind me as I did ashtanga yoga (my "stretching") and then following me into the showers.

    To be quite honest I found it quite upsetting.... although I did try and converse with him. Funnily enough he was hot/cold.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 11:47 PM GMT
    You need to deal with the competition first. Next time you see him talking to anybody, drop a dumbbell on their foot and hiss "I saw her first, bitch" in their ear as they hop on their way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2013 12:13 AM GMT
    This is a joke thread right.....icon_eek.gif
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jun 11, 2013 1:50 AM GMT
    Fivealive saidThis is a joke thread right.....icon_eek.gif
    Possibly, but I don't think so. Spotter has a history of being a bit too aggressive in trying to meet guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 11, 2013 12:54 PM GMT
    Suetonius said
    Fivealive saidThis is a joke thread right.....icon_eek.gif
    Possibly, but I don't think so. Spotter has a history of being a bit too aggressive in trying to meet guys.


    Wow - I've only been in the forum three months now and you've got my number.

    True - I was ordered a cease and desist order from seven different zip codes.

    True - when I was in the navy, I was told "Don't ask don't tell don't stare in the shower don't feel guys up when they're sleeping."

    True - I was on American Idol singing my hit single

    Jeffrey Dahmer
    Was a charmer

    (I know they liked the song. The audience kept yelling "Get off on the stage" or something like that.)

    But I'm great in bed! That excuses everything, right?