I agree with those that have said that it is what a guy finds pleasureable, physically or psychologically. Being butch or fem is not related at all.
To me anal sex at 1st is like the 1st time one tries to smoke cigarettes, it might not feel good the 1st time so maybe the guy doesn't do it again. But if he likes to watch another guy do the deed to him then he learns to accept whatever pleasure he can ie watching the guy, masterbating, getting in the best position for prostate pleasure, or doing whatever helps distract him from the discomfort of anal sex, like playing with nipples or kissing.
I'm versatile and I'm just beyond pissed about guys that are total tops or total bottoms. I'm kinda shy about topping and being watched but I'll get over it easier if the guy will reciprocate. To me a top that won't let you do him is unfair and unbalanced. No amount of oral sex from the top will compensate for the fact that he won't let you do what he has done. I haven't known it if I was with a total bottom or not. But if a guy won't thrust his hips toward my mouth or my bottom then that is unbalanced too. As well as probably psychologically incompatible.