Why are you Single?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 7:46 PM GMT
    Cause I'm a realist when it comes to matters of the heart..

    Men are like pastries in a pastrie shop. The moment you try one (Jam doughnut) you want to try the rest (Carrot cake, cupcake, Blueberry MUFFIN! icon_biggrin.gif)

    None the less I am open to the day a guy can keep me only wanting what he has to offer. Wont hold my breath though..icon_lol.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 10, 2013 7:49 PM GMT
    I've one bad habit: I hookup often. I fuck first, ask questions later. As you can imagine, this hasn't worked in finding a boyfriend.

    I always fall for guys that are out of my league. The last two men I fell for thought I was 'too ugly' for a relationship.

    Now that I'm trying to change my ways, the better I behave, the more alone I feel.. because there are hardly any good men out there. icon_sad.gif
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    Jun 10, 2013 7:56 PM GMT
    Because I date men twice my age, and most are too insecure to be themselves.

    That, and I live in Alabama.
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:03 PM GMT
    I'm in a difficult situation that makes dating...well...difficult. I also have a quirky personality that isn't compatible with most guys. I tend to be attracted to the type of guys who wouldn't be attracted to me. And so on...
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:04 PM GMT
    I'll be honest and say I have no real problem meeting men.

    The thing is that I have a very narrow definition of what I want in a man and if he deviates too far from these rules then I'm outta there. It's very cynical and shallow, I know. But I refuse to settle down just for the sake of being in a relationship.

    Till then I'll just have hot man sex with porn stars and muscle daddies in glamourous South Beach. Le sigh. It's the life...
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 10, 2013 8:07 PM GMT
    because all the guys I would want to date are too young, or too straight or too far away
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:11 PM GMT
    because I have yet to confirm that I have met the guy that I am willing to chance a shattered heart over. and the more times it breaks the harder it is to mend.
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:12 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidI'll be honest and say I have no real problem meeting men.

    The thing is that I have a very narrow definition of what I want in a man and if he deviates too far from these rules then I'm outta there. It's very cynical and shallow, I know. But I refuse to settle down just for the sake of being in a relationship.

    Till then I'll just have hot man sex with porn stars and muscle daddies in glamorous South Beach. Le sigh. It's the life...




    icon_sad.gif You read my mind. But a nice dude to settle down with. Workout with, and travel the world with would be nice too....

    Screw this! icon_evil.gif I want a Steak and cheese sub with Pasta Alfredo a ginger ale and some Ben and Jerry's icon_rolleyes.gif

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 10, 2013 8:14 PM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidBecause I date men twice my age, and most are too insecure to be themselves.

    That, and I live in Alabama.

    Old-man-and-young-woman.jpg
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:14 PM GMT
    dudewithabeard saidbecause I have yet to confirm that I have met the guy that I am willing to chance a shattered heart over. and the more times it breaks the harder it is to mend.

    ^ this is exactly why
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:14 PM GMT
    dudewithabeard saidbecause I have yet to confirm that I have met the guy that I am willing to chance a shattered heart over. and the more times it breaks the harder it is to mend.

    ^ this is exactly why
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:20 PM GMT
    I'm oil and other men are water. You can bring the two together and spin them around for a while but they just won't mix.
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:20 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidFinding the right guy is work if you make it that way. Usually when you quit looking is when Mr. Right comes along. All relationships are compromise, do be prepared for that. The payoff out weighs the cost. When it's the other way around, then you'll know you met Mr. Wrong.


    Cheers for that! icon_smile.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 10, 2013 8:23 PM GMT
    It's too much frustration being the one who does 100% of the giving.

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    Jun 10, 2013 8:25 PM GMT
    The flip side of the question to me is how it's now considered better, more appropriate, etc. to be married, or at least in a long term relationship. When I realized that I was gay, in my early 20s, back in the 70s, gays marrying was not often looked on positively. Marriage was seen as something that was for straights and not to be copied and gays embraced their differentness and we accepted that we marched to a different drum.

    I definitely agree with your "men are like pastries in a pastry shop" analogy.

    But to answer your question, I went celibate decades ago; safe sex isn't safe enough for me, and I've never bothered trying to find a partner that would want a sexless relationship. Maybe I'm too lazy to make the effort.
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:30 PM GMT
    Lumpynose said... But to answer your question, I went celibate decades ago; safe sex isn't safe enough for me, and I've never bothered trying to find a partner that would want a sexless relationship. Maybe I'm too lazy to make the effort.
    Date a man who travels. That way if he wants sex, he can get it elsewhere while you're not around. icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:43 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    JumpMan_Josh saidBecause I date men twice my age, and most are too insecure to be themselves.

    That, and I live in Alabama.

    Old-man-and-young-woman.jpg


    Hey, I've only met a few men in their 40's that look like that... icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:44 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Lumpynose said... But to answer your question, I went celibate decades ago; safe sex isn't safe enough for me, and I've never bothered trying to find a partner that would want a sexless relationship. Maybe I'm too lazy to make the effort.
    Date a man who travels. That way if he wants sex, he can get it elsewhere while you're not around. icon_lol.gif


    You kid, but this could work. I think intimate companionship is the most important part of a relationship. If one party does not want sex, then why not allow the other to get sex elsewhere. Men are much better than women at separating sex from romance.

    I couldn't agree more with GuyNextDoor. Those who are content with just being themselves and not looking for more are the most attractive to others. Stop looking so hard, and just concentrate on enjoying life - boys will throw themselves at you.

    Also - compromise... yes! Don't have a checklist of items that you do/don't want in a boyfriend. Be open and free to options and alternatives that you never even considered. Is this how you choose your friends? Probably not. So, it shouldn't work the same way for boyfriends. And when in a relationship, things won't always be easy-breasy, even with "the one". Relationships require work, understanding, tolerance, patience and communication. But the reward is wonderful and gets better with every year.
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    gayinterest saidI couldn't agree more with GuyNextDoor. Those who are content with just being themselves and not looking for more are the most attractive to others. Stop looking so hard, and just concentrate on enjoying life - boys will throw themselves at you.

    No, it doesn't work like that for me.

    gayinterest saidAlso - compromise... yes! Don't have a checklist of items that you do/don't want in a boyfriend. Be open and free to options and alternatives that you never even considered. Is this how you choose your friends? Probably not. So, it shouldn't work the same way for boyfriends. And when in a relationship, things won't always be easy-breasy, even with "the one". Relationships require work, understanding, tolerance, patience and communication. But the reward is wonderful and gets better with every year.

    This part I mostly agree with. Too many guys have very demanding checklists of things they want in a guy. No one is that perfect.
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    Jun 10, 2013 8:57 PM GMT
    gayinterest said
    paulflexes said
    Lumpynose said... But to answer your question, I went celibate decades ago; safe sex isn't safe enough for me, and I've never bothered trying to find a partner that would want a sexless relationship. Maybe I'm too lazy to make the effort.
    Date a man who travels. That way if he wants sex, he can get it elsewhere while you're not around. icon_lol.gif


    You kid, but this could work. ...
    Actually I'm not kidding at all. I travel for work, and I'm not into penetrative sex (as explained in my profile). The guy I'm currently dating is free to do whatever he wants with whomever he wants at any time, whether I'm home or not, though it's easier when I'm away cause we hang out all the time when I'm home.

    BTW, my profile says "single" because I have my own place and he has his, though we've been dating since last September.
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    Jun 10, 2013 9:09 PM GMT
    Lack of opportunity, intimacy/difficulty getting close to people issues, and I only fall for people who can't/don't feel the same way.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 10, 2013 9:09 PM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh said
    AMoonHawk said
    JumpMan_Josh saidBecause I date men twice my age, and most are too insecure to be themselves.

    That, and I live in Alabama.

    Old-man-and-young-woman.jpg


    Hey, I've only met a few men in their 40's that look like that... icon_razz.gif

    You might want to ask for ID age verification next time icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 10, 2013 9:10 PM GMT
    Not single because I don't identify as single but as a widow.

    Widow because, um, he's dead.

    Single still because life beat the crap out of me and I haven't felt ready for another go at it.

    I've actually purposely and with effort kept myself single over the past few years, having had a few offers. But I'm starting to feel better so I think I'm getting close. Now I have to make myself pretty again so I can reel one in. A few years have gone by so I hope I'm not too late.

    I think "I have decided to rejoin the human race...And, Ephraim, I want you to give me away....Before the parade passes by..."

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    Jun 10, 2013 9:14 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    JumpMan_Josh said
    AMoonHawk said
    JumpMan_Josh saidBecause I date men twice my age, and most are too insecure to be themselves.

    That, and I live in Alabama.

    Old-man-and-young-woman.jpg


    Hey, I've only met a few men in their 40's that look like that... icon_razz.gif

    You might want to ask for ID age verification next time icon_lol.gif


    Haha! But seriously... let's go out on a date.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 10, 2013 9:32 PM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh said
    AMoonHawk said
    JumpMan_Josh said
    AMoonHawk said
    JumpMan_Josh saidBecause I date men twice my age, and most are too insecure to be themselves.

    That, and I live in Alabama.

    Old-man-and-young-woman.jpg


    Hey, I've only met a few men in their 40's that look like that... icon_razz.gif

    You might want to ask for ID age verification next time icon_lol.gif


    Haha! But seriously... let's go out on a date.

    ooooo ... now I think I just might have to ask for picture ID age verification
    I'm no cradle robber