One man's story of being drugged and raped

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 11, 2013 4:10 AM GMT
    http://www.sdgln.com/news/2013/06/06/gay-man-i-was-drugged-and-raped-hillcrest-sandiego
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 11, 2013 4:19 AM GMT
    The editor of the above story also writes about his own experience with getting ruffied

    http://sdgln.com/news/2013/06/07/editors-notebook-curse-of-date-rape-drugs
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    Jun 11, 2013 5:04 AM GMT
    I was roofied but it wasn't your typical story where you pass out and don't remember anything. In my case probably because I weighed 220# at the time so the roofie didn't knock me out, it just caused me to be in an awakened state of anesthesia (I remember everything). I also wasn't precisely raped (the guy weighed like 120 lbs, it's not like he could have had his way with me much), more like naked play time that I wasn't in a properly conscious state to agree to.
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    Jun 11, 2013 2:48 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidhttp://www.sdgln.com/news/2013/06/06/gay-man-i-was-drugged-and-raped-hillcrest-sandiego



    Did you read the article? Red Flag .... He "thinks" he may have been raped.
    Do rapists take you home and put you into your bed? How did he get home? This is irresponsible journalism . The reporter should not be even writing a story like this without doing some investigation. A call to his ex and the dude's female friend would probably confirm that the dude is delusional.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Jun 11, 2013 2:50 PM GMT
    One could only hope to be drugged and raped.
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    Jun 11, 2013 3:00 PM GMT
    Matiz saidI was roofied but it wasn't your typical story where you pass out and don't remember anything. In my case probably because I weighed 220# at the time so the roofie didn't knock me out, it just caused me to be in an awakened state of anesthesia (I remember everything). I also wasn't precisely raped (the guy weighed like 120 lbs, it's not like he could have had his way with me much), more like naked play time that I wasn't in a properly conscious state to agree to.


    Ari it was rape plain and simple. Its understandable that you're trying to rationalize it but he drugged you and that is in excusable. I hope you reported that guy since.

    I was raped and though I couldn't report it, my inner strength and soul prevented me from crumbling.
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    Jun 11, 2013 3:12 PM GMT


    I was raped and though I couldn't it, I my inner strength and soul prevented me from crumbling.


    Sorry that happened to you. I hope the guy who did it is rotting in hell.
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 11, 2013 3:25 PM GMT
    I don't understand why a guy would need to rape another guy. With all the casual sex that is available in the gay world why resort to raping someone?

    Is it because you feel they are out of your league? Maybe youre right but maybe not, try talking to them see if they're interested. Don't just drug and rape them.

    Guys who rape people are sick and need to be dealt with in extreme measures.


    If you're out clubbing don't take a drink from someone you don't know unless you are at the bar and the bar tender hands it to you. Someone wants to buy you a drink, go with them.

    Don't take your eyes of your drink if you set it down. If you do set it down and turn away from it for any period of time, I would get a new drink.

    Have someone with you that will help keep you from going home with a strange person if you're too drunk to make good decisions.

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    Jun 11, 2013 3:32 PM GMT
    Import saidOne could only hope to be drugged and raped.
    Better not to have been roofied, so you couldn't experience it fully. Does ectacy count as a date rape drug - to get you in the mood, but not blank out memory?
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 11, 2013 3:37 PM GMT
    Besides, who can really enjoy having sex with someone who is unconscious? It would be like having sex with a corpse. They don't move other than breathing. That's just creepy in itself.
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Jun 11, 2013 3:45 PM GMT
    Here's Mads being unusually serious.

    I was raped as a teenager - no drugs involved, just force and naivete on my part. It's the single most horrible thing I can imagine as far as the attack to your emotional stability.

    I was lucky that my family, hospital staff, police and school counselors supported me through the emotional healing; the physical healing was a piece of cake comparatively.

    I did some research - both informally among friends and formally - and found that it's not uncommon, not by a long-shot. The statistics are tough because what's uncommon is reporting it, and, as mentioned here, that contributes to its perpetuation. MEN aren't supposed to be victims; it impugns our masculinity to admit we were hurt, we need help, etc.

    STUPID / SILLY / FOOLISH societally-imposed so-called standards that we grow into and accept blindly.

    I didn't accept the rape. I fought back and lost during the attack. I reported and pushed to get the rapist brought to justice. I learned and made myself stronger and more able to keep myself out of trouble and to protect myself if I got into it.

    But mostly, I told EVERYone and encouraged them to change this standard of behavior by not accepting, by fighting back when it happens.
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Jun 11, 2013 4:12 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    Wow. I'm so sorry this happened to you but I'm glad you had the strength to deal with the mind-fuck which sounds like it is worse than the body-fuck. Thanks for sharing what must have been a difficult story to write.


    Thanks for the support. But it wasn't difficult to write (just for me to be dead serious for a few minutes!). I talk, I tell, I preach; it's amazing how widespread this is and how little it's reported. I'm not exaggerating when I say that 9 out of every 10 men I've talked to who've experienced the same never went to the police, and many never sought medical aide though they needed it.

    Not to digress but the prologue of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo cites statistics about sexual (and other) attacks on women in Sweden (maybe Scandinavia as a whole, don't remember exactly). I was struck by two things: 1) I had no idea that the incidence of violence against women there was so high; and 2) sadly we don't know what the corresponding statistic is for men because of exacerbated reticence by men to report.
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    Jun 11, 2013 6:02 PM GMT
    madsexy saidHere's Mads being unusually serious.

    I was raped as a teenager - no drugs involved, just force and naivete on my part. It's the single most horrible thing I can imagine as far as the attack to your emotional stability.

    I was lucky that my family, hospital staff, police and school counselors supported me through the emotional healing; the physical healing was a piece of cake comparatively.

    I did some research - both informally among friends and formally - and found that it's not uncommon, not by a long-shot. The statistics are tough because what's uncommon is reporting it, and, as mentioned here, that contributes to its perpetuation. MEN aren't supposed to be victims; it impugns our masculinity to admit we were hurt, we need help, etc.

    STUPID / SILLY / FOOLISH societally-imposed so-called standards that we grow into and accept blindly.

    I didn't accept the rape. I fought back and lost during the attack. I reported and pushed to get the rapist brought to justice. I learned and made myself stronger and more able to keep myself out of trouble and to protect myself if I got into it.

    But mostly, I told EVERYone and encouraged them to change this standard of behavior by not accepting, by fighting back when it happens.


    Thank you for being unusually serious, Mads. ;-)

    This is, of course, a serious topic. And it's awful that you, Matiz, Fivealive, and probably many others on this site were victimized by predators. You have shown unusual courage by not only fighting back but also talking about it publicly. If more people did that, rapists wouldn't be able to operate so easily in anonymity.

    You are right, Mads, that the figures are under-reported. Here in the U.S., most people are too ashamed about being raped to report it -- as if it were the victim's fault. Of course, it could be worse. In some countries you can be put to death for being a rape victim.

    Not everyone has the strength to fight back against predators, which is why we must all step up and be more vigilant when it comes to attackers in our midst.
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    Jun 11, 2013 6:11 PM GMT
    Fivealive said

    Ari it was rape plain and simple. Its understandable that you're trying to rationalize it but he drugged you and that is in excusable. I hope you reported that guy since.


    I do recognize what he did but I don't believe I'm 100% unaccountable for the situation I put myself in that led to that.
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    Jun 11, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    Matiz saidI do recognize what he did but I don't believe I'm 100% unaccountable for the situation I put myself in that led to that.
    The second a person put a pill in you against you will it is not your fault..

    You can stop playing the I WANT ATTENTION BAD CARD!!!!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 11, 2013 6:16 PM GMT
    RadRTT said
    Matiz saidI do recognize what he did but I don't believe I'm 100% unaccountable for the situation I put myself in that led to that.
    The second a person put a pill in you against you will it is not your fault..

    You can stop playing the I WANT ATTENTION BAD CARD!!!!


    So says the attention whore.icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 11, 2013 6:18 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidSo says the attention whore.icon_razz.gif
    Never once denied it. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 11, 2013 6:18 PM GMT
    Matiz said
    I do recognize what he did but I don't believe I'm 100% unaccountable for the situation I put myself in that led to that.


    You mean at my house? Didn't happen, my end of the story and stickin to it
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    Jun 11, 2013 8:18 PM GMT
    Alpha13 said
    AMoonHawk saidhttp://www.sdgln.com/news/2013/06/06/gay-man-i-was-drugged-and-raped-hillcrest-sandiego



    Did you read the article? Red Flag .... He "thinks" he may have been raped.
    Do rapists take you home and put you into your bed? How did he get home? This is irresponsible journalism . The reporter should not be even writing a story like this without doing some investigation. A call to his ex and the dude's female friend would probably confirm that the dude is delusional.


    I agree: Rape is horrible, and I've heard the wrenching pain in the words of friends that confided in me. In this case, though, this confession reads a lot more like a sophomoric essay for English 201 Composition than like a true life story.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jun 11, 2013 9:58 PM GMT
    madsexy saidHere's Mads being unusually serious.

    I was raped as a teenager - no drugs involved, just force and naivete on my part. It's the single most horrible thing I can imagine as far as the attack to your emotional stability.

    I was lucky that my family, hospital staff, police and school counselors supported me through the emotional healing; the physical healing was a piece of cake comparatively.

    I did some research - both informally among friends and formally - and found that it's not uncommon, not by a long-shot. The statistics are tough because what's uncommon is reporting it, and, as mentioned here, that contributes to its perpetuation. MEN aren't supposed to be victims; it impugns our masculinity to admit we were hurt, we need help, etc.

    STUPID / SILLY / FOOLISH societally-imposed so-called standards that we grow into and accept blindly.

    I didn't accept the rape. I fought back and lost during the attack. I reported and pushed to get the rapist brought to justice. I learned and made myself stronger and more able to keep myself out of trouble and to protect myself if I got into it.

    But mostly, I told EVERYone and encouraged them to change this standard of behavior by not accepting, by fighting back when it happens.

    Glad that you got through it OK. Was this a priest?
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Jun 11, 2013 10:14 PM GMT
    Suetonius said

    Glad that you got through it OK. Was this a priest?


    No, it wasn't a priest. I'm laughing, and I thank you for making me laugh after being too serious about this topic now so long afterward, even though the sexual abuse in the RC Church is such a matter of shame to we RC's.
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    Jun 11, 2013 10:38 PM GMT
    chadwick1985 saidI don't understand why a guy would need to rape another guy. With all the casual sex that is available in the gay world why resort to raping someone?

    Is it because you feel they are out of your league? Maybe youre right but maybe not, try talking to them see if they're interested. Don't just drug and rape them.

    Guys who rape people are sick and need to be dealt with in extreme measures.


    If you're out clubbing don't take a drink from someone you don't know unless you are at the bar and the bar tender hands it to you. Someone wants to buy you a drink, go with them.

    Don't take your eyes of your drink if you set it down. If you do set it down and turn away from it for any period of time, I would get a new drink.

    Have someone with you that will help keep you from going home with a strange person if you're too drunk to make good decisions.



    Mate.... Rape isnt usually about the sex its about so many more things.
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    Jun 11, 2013 11:42 PM GMT
    This has turned into an interesting post. It's rare to hear about young men being raped by strangers. Molestation of course is more common and increasingly coming out in the open. I had a friend in HS whose younger brother was raped by two men in a van. They had a gun. This incident shook me to the core..and it was rarely mentioned after it happened. It made me especially cautious with strangers and on at least two instances, I believe that extra caution prevented me from being a victim in my teenage years. It should be talked about...if not to help others...
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    Jun 12, 2013 12:22 AM GMT
    It is more common than many of Us realize - because it is not considered MASC to discuss or admit to.

    icon_sad.gif

    icon_sad.gificon_sad.gif
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    Jun 12, 2013 12:22 AM GMT
    soulman1969 said


    I was raped and though I couldn't report it, my inner strength and soul prevented me from crumbling.


    Sorry that happened to you. I hope the guy who did it is rotting in hell.


    Thanks ,I've long since dealt with it. Last I heard he shot several times but managed to survive...

    Ari you are unaccountable.