Starting from scratch

  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 11, 2013 7:31 PM GMT
    So in the past couple of weeks, I've had to cut out a couple of prospects out of my life. Also, Im dealing with the end of a friendship that was more toxic than good. I've no close friends..and NYC gay-dating life has kicked my ass, almost literally. Has anyone dealt with having to regroup and starting from scratch again? That's how I'm feeling right now. Been practically talking out loud to myself these past couple of days to not crumble.

    Anyways..Just wanted to vent.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2013 2:05 AM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear this. I've recently learned how hard life can be. When you lose almost everything. The most important thing, is to focus on you. "What can I do to start working towards a new future."

    Good luck to you. If you ever need a friend, my doors always open. icon_smile.gif
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jun 12, 2013 2:12 AM GMT
    I'm going through this phase right now myself.

    First thing to do?
    Realize who you are. Go over all your past achievements, awards, goals you met.... etc...

    This time will most likely test your faith in your own capabilities. Which the tone of this OP sounds like it has been shaken.

    Second thing to do?

    Make a plan. How are you going to IMPROVE yourself?
    Whether this be working out at the gym harder, new haircut, pampering your skin with special lotions, going to get microdermabrasion....

    Third thing to do?
    Find an activity, or many activities to do.
    I personally suggest yoga, Ashtanga is what I chose to do, and took the skills I learned in course to become my stretching routine after each workout.

    Realize that if you're going to go to try and meet new friends, you're going to need to emerse yourself in an environment that has people of that interest.

    If you want someone that is into tennis, play tennis.
    If you want a muay thai enthusiast (I am one), then find a gym that teaches muay thai and prepare to scream at your shins...

    Fourth thing to do.... and constantly throughout!!!!!
    Never lose faith in yourself. You needed to clean your life out of people that were damaging and hurtful. This is a move FORWARD despite what your heart might be telling you.

    Just stay strong, everything WILL get better- just put in an effort!
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jun 12, 2013 3:49 AM GMT
    Well, it is always good to get rid of toxic people. Family you are usually stuck with but who wants toxic friends?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    I've rebooted my life about 4 times now. You get used to it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2013 4:07 AM GMT
    I've rebooted my life last year. Best decision I made in years!!!


    It takes time before things starting settling down and going your way, but with patience and hard work...it will happen!!!
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 12, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    THanks for the posts. They're all appreciated.

    Just came back from work, and it was a hard shift. I could hardly get my mind off my troubles. I exchanged text messages with a good friend from out of town and he lifted my spirits a bit.

    ...and that's because tomorrow I'm going to go and get tested for HIV. One of the men I just cut out of my life happened to have been poz. He referred to himself as 'undetectable', but now I have my doubts. He ultimately turned out to be emotionally unavailable and disconnected.. and I had to sever the connection this past weekend due to that.

    Now I get to find out if this is finally the mistake that makes me positive.

    Will post whatever results here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2013 4:14 AM GMT
    Oh God dude...you are really close to making me give a confession on here that I really don't want to....

    just....keep your head up! I've been in your shoes trust me, I know the feelings....
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jun 12, 2013 4:17 AM GMT
    PR_GMR saidTHanks for the posts. They're all appreciated.

    Just came back from work, and it was a hard shift. I could hardly get my mind off my troubles. I exchanged text messages with a good friend from out of town and he lifted my spirits a bit.

    ...and that's because tomorrow I'm going to go and get tested for HIV. One of the men I just cut out of my life happened to have been poz. He referred to himself as 'undetectable', but now I have my doubts. He ultimately turned out to be emotionally unavailable and disconnected.. and I had to sever the connection this past weekend due to that.

    Now I get to find out if this is finally the mistake that makes me positive.

    Will post whatever results here.


    Oh God. I'm sure you are fine, but that is scary. I hope you are well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2013 4:17 AM GMT
    I've been there too. Keep your head up. You're a cute guy and seem to have a positive attitude. People get drawn to that. Also, be thankful you're in NYC and not Cincinnati.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 12, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    For many years, I had a group of 6 or 7 close friends who I saw every weekend. We also traveled together and celebrated birthdays and holidays. Some have moved away. One died. One became partnered, and prefers to spend almost all his time with him.

    I miss the old days.
    But, I'm not letting it ruin my life.

    I have many interests that keep me busy.
    Also, I've always been happy, by myself.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 12, 2013 3:51 PM GMT
    Just got tested. Test results: Negative. I can start from here and make new connections.

    I'm getting back up again. Let's see what this summer brings.