Is he interested, or not?

  • Chad1992

    Posts: 5

    Jun 12, 2013 2:26 AM GMT
    Hi, I need some help.

    I told a guy that I like that I would be interested in dating if he wanted to. He told me he was interested in me, too.
    Well, he seems to not be that interested in me because he rarely texts or calls.

    I finally texted him and said that if he didn't like me, just to tell me. He wrote back and said he really was interested in me, and to give him a chance.
    I do think he might be shy, and a little 'raw' from his break up from another guy a while back, but is this more of him just not being interested in me, or shy, or 'guarded' or what?

    We went on a 'date' and when we parted he said he would "call me sometime". We did text after that and he said he looked forward to seeing each other again, but his behavior is confusing me.

    Any advice?
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jun 12, 2013 2:43 AM GMT
    There is a whole spectrum of things that could be going on here.

    Lets go at this angle.

    Clingy guys: No one likes em. They drive us up the wall. Calling, texting, facebooking.... every bloody chance they get.

    So what has happened? A lot of guys do the exact opposite. It isn't playing hard to get, but it is them knowing in their head that if they text too early that they may come across as needy, desperate, clingy, overly attached and will scare away someone.

  • Chad1992

    Posts: 5

    Jun 12, 2013 3:41 AM GMT
    NeuralShock saidThere is a whole spectrum of things that could be going on here.

    Lets go at this angle.

    Clingy guys: No one likes em. They drive us up the wall. Calling, texting, facebooking.... every bloody chance they get.

    So what has happened? A lot of guys do the exact opposite. It isn't playing hard to get, but it is them knowing in their head that if they text too early that they may come across as needy, desperate, clingy, overly attached and will scare away someone.



    That's true, and that's actually what I have tried to avoid doing also - coming off as 'clingy' or 'pushy' by texting him when I don't hear from him.

    I know he has a lot of responsibilities during the day and that could be the reason why, but I just wonder if that IS the reason, or just a convenient excuse?
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jun 12, 2013 4:00 AM GMT
    Chad1992 said
    NeuralShock saidThere is a whole spectrum of things that could be going on here.

    Lets go at this angle.

    Clingy guys: No one likes em. They drive us up the wall. Calling, texting, facebooking.... every bloody chance they get.

    So what has happened? A lot of guys do the exact opposite. It isn't playing hard to get, but it is them knowing in their head that if they text too early that they may come across as needy, desperate, clingy, overly attached and will scare away someone.



    That's true, and that's actually what I have tried to avoid doing also - coming off as 'clingy' or 'pushy' by texting him when I don't hear from him.

    I know he has a lot of responsibilities during the day and that could be the reason why, but I just wonder if that IS the reason, or just a convenient excuse?

    It honestly could be an excuse, that is the truth.

    However, I myself... I am completely a faithful person to one person once I've set my interests on them.

    There is actually a man I've fallen head over heels for currently who I've been waiting about a week to text. Already knew what I was going to say, even the punctuation for asking him out for drinks a week ago. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. (Which I'm sending it off tomorrow morning.)

    Could I have come off as aloof and uninterested? Perhaps. Despite that being far from the truth, when I snuggle my pillow at night I imagine I'm hugging him.

    So for each person it may verymuch end up being a completely different story. All I can tell you is what I'm going through sounds very similar to what this man you're interested in is doing.
  • Chad1992

    Posts: 5

    Jun 12, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    NeuralShock said
    Chad1992 said
    NeuralShock saidThere is a whole spectrum of things that could be going on here.

    Lets go at this angle.

    Clingy guys: No one likes em. They drive us up the wall. Calling, texting, facebooking.... every bloody chance they get.

    So what has happened? A lot of guys do the exact opposite. It isn't playing hard to get, but it is them knowing in their head that if they text too early that they may come across as needy, desperate, clingy, overly attached and will scare away someone.



    That's true, and that's actually what I have tried to avoid doing also - coming off as 'clingy' or 'pushy' by texting him when I don't hear from him.

    I know he has a lot of responsibilities during the day and that could be the reason why, but I just wonder if that IS the reason, or just a convenient excuse?

    It honestly could be an excuse, that is the truth.

    However, I myself... I am completely a faithful person to one person once I've set my interests on them.

    There is actually a man I've fallen head over heels for currently who I've been waiting about a week to text. Already knew what I was going to say, even the punctuation for asking him out for drinks a week ago. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. (Which I'm sending it off tomorrow morning.)

    Could I have come off as aloof and uninterested? Perhaps. Despite that being far from the truth, when I snuggle my pillow at night I imagine I'm hugging him.

    So for each person it may verymuch end up being a completely different story. All I can tell you is what I'm going through sounds very similar to what this man you're interested in is doing.


    Thanks for your input. I HOPE that's what this situation is.

    I know that his last relationship ended bad and that his ex was doing a lot of stuff behind his back and I think he might be a little 'guarded' with starting a new relationship. I just hope that I'm not trying to rationalize his behavior by making excuses in my mind for him.
  • Michaelyolo

    Posts: 10

    Jun 12, 2013 10:10 AM GMT
    Maybe he is confused about something, feeling nervous or just scared what if he messes up things. He may be going through mixed emotions. This type of situations are so messy :/
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Jun 12, 2013 10:54 AM GMT
    I agree with the dude above^ ^ ^ ^

    I'm sort of going through the same situation, but the guy I'm talking to is just the non-talkative type.

    When we go out, he's really open towards me. Hardly texts and hardly calls, we Skype once in a while.

    Sadly, don't feel self-conscious.
    It's not you buddy, it's him. Just roll with it, I know it kills you in the head, but just....all I can say just go with it. =]