My best friend that happens to be straight keeps on throwing me to women

  • urhereurthere

    Posts: 185

    Jun 12, 2013 5:37 PM GMT
    He has known me for years but recently he started telling me and insisting on me to get a girlfriend and I don't know how to tackle the problem :/ and now we are gonna move in together because I'm moving to the UK and he is already there. Plus his coworker will be living with us too and my best friend doesn't want his friends to know I'm gay :/ help me guys
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 12, 2013 5:43 PM GMT
    doesn't sound like much of a best friend if he can't accept you for who you are and not worry about what others will think of him. His concern is for himself. Sounds like he is just using you to help pay the rent. Find a new bff.
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    Jun 12, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    And don't let your friend dictate who you can be out to - it's not fair for FAMILY members to do this, much less friends.
  • urhereurthere

    Posts: 185

    Jun 12, 2013 6:19 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saiddoesn't sound like much of a best friend if he can't accept you for who you are and not worry about what others will think of him. His concern is for himself. Sounds like he is just using you to help pay the rent. Find a new bff.


    I know his concern is for himself and that he needs to accept who I am. But I'm the one moving there. I know the same people he knows there but I don't want to put him in an awkward position
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jun 12, 2013 6:29 PM GMT
    ur best friends sound like a real shit head.
    Tell him to go find a roommate on craigslist.


    and u too. You'll be better off.
    I'd rather room with a complete stranger than a fucking cunt like ur best friend.
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    Jun 12, 2013 7:13 PM GMT
    LeonardBizcut saidHe has known me for years but recently he started telling me and insisting on me to get a girlfriend and I don't know how to tackle the problem :/ and now we are gonna move in together because I'm moving to the UK and he is already there. Plus his coworker will be living with us too and my best friend doesn't want his friends to know I'm gay :/ help me guys


    I'm a little confused:

    So does he want you to get a girlfriend to keep up appearances that you're straight so it doesn't put him in an awkward position? Or is he wanting you to get a girlfriend because he doesn't agree or believe you are truly gay? And why would he care about what his coworker and others think or know about you? Unless he feels that would be a projection on him and maybe he's dealing with some sexuality issues of his own.
  • urhereurthere

    Posts: 185

    Jun 12, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    my best friend is not a cunt. calm the f*** down.

    he struggled with the fact that im gay for a few months when i came out to him but things fast got great. i could tell him about the "fantastic sex i had had in the night before" and all that and he wouldnt even make a face.

    then he moved to the UK about 2 years ago and i had the chance to go visit in october 2012 so i went. and i was the only friend that actually went there to visit from portugal.
    we were in london for 3 days and then went to norwich (where he is living and where im about to move to) and the first thing he asked me when we sat on the train was for me not to tell anyonw that im gay because he doesnt want "drama and confusion" with his friends from there

    i was only visiting so i did what he told me to. but now im actually MOVING there... and he even insisted for me to move there since he got there :S so i dont know whats his deal now :S
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:17 PM GMT
    Sorry man.
    A lot of us have lost our best friends, because of shit like this, so we have an attitude.
    Communication and compromise seams to be in order; as it sounds, it's him that is confused sexually or has some stereotypical idea of what you'll be like.
    What is he afraid of?
    I find a lot of straight guy expect us to be some crazy revolving door whore, because that's what they would be if they were gay or could get as many woman as they wanted.
    idk...maybe he stops trying to turn/pretend you straight and you agree take it back a notch till other living arrangements can be made or he grows.
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:21 PM GMT
    I am from Norfolk. They have gay people there, more than one per village in fact! But, you would be a bit more of a novelty than a gay guy in London, Brighton or Manchester.

    Would you consider looking for a gay only flatshare instead? That way your friend could have the distance that he is looking for while seeing you regularly, while you could make some friends you share some interests with and be less reliant on him. If it is impractical to find somewhere before you move there, you could stay with him and find some innocuous reason you need to move out after a couple of weeks. For example, distance to work, price, something about the room.

    The idea of you getting a girlfriend is very silly for everybody concerned, especially for this girl who would probably be very miserable in a relationship with someone who didn't fancy her!

    Hope this was some use to you. Good luck resolving this sticky situation.
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:22 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saiddoesn't sound like much of a best friend if he can't accept you for who you are and not worry about what others will think of him. His concern is for himself. Sounds like he is just using you to help pay the rent. Find a new bff.

    +1
  • urhereurthere

    Posts: 185

    Jun 12, 2013 8:38 PM GMT
    Ohno saidI am from Norfolk. They have gay people there, more than one per village in fact! But, you would be a bit more of a novelty than a gay guy in London, Brighton or Manchester.

    Would you consider looking for a gay only flatshare instead? That way your friend could have the distance that he is looking for while seeing you regularly, while you could make some friends you share some interests with and be less reliant on him. If it is impractical to find somewhere before you move there, you could stay with him and find some innocuous reason you need to move out after a couple of weeks. For example, distance to work, price, something about the room.

    The idea of you getting a girlfriend is very silly for everybody concerned, especially for this girl who would probably be very miserable in a relationship with someone who didn't fancy her!

    Hope this was some use to you. Good luck resolving this sticky situation.


    there's only gay flats? i had no idea xD

    ive known the guy for about 10 years... always best pals :S i really want to avoid conflict
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:47 PM GMT
    I have a solution! I'm looking for a roommate and I'd be happy to invite you to room with me, but I really can't have a roommate with brown eyes and I certainly wouldn't want my friends to see that. So as long as you wear colored contacts this could work!
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    LeonardBizcut saidmy best friend is not a cunt. calm the f*** down.

    he struggled with the fact that im gay for a few months when i came out to him but things fast got great. i could tell him about the "fantastic sex i had had in the night before" and all that and he wouldnt even make a face.

    then he moved to the UK about 2 years ago and i had the chance to go visit in october 2012 so i went. and i was the only friend that actually went there to visit from portugal.
    we were in london for 3 days and then went to norwich (where he is living and where im about to move to) and the first thing he asked me when we sat on the train was for me not to tell anyonw that im gay because he doesnt want "drama and confusion" with his friends from there

    i was only visiting so i did what he told me to. but now im actually MOVING there... and he even insisted for me to move there since he got there :S so i dont know whats his deal now :S


    He may not be a cunt, but if he thinks that any "drama or confusion" that comes from his friends just because you're gay is your fault, but he's kind of acting like one. Sorry, man.
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:49 PM GMT
    I sympathize but where is the problem?
    He says, "Here's a girlfriend."
    You say, "No thanks."
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:54 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidI sympathize but where is the problem?
    He says, "Here's a girlfriend."
    You say, "No thanks."


    Well, a fall-back option is to do something to annoy every girl that comes along so they don't want to date you. For example, say you don't wash your hair any more because you believe it cleans itself eventually. That should do the job icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:54 PM GMT
    LeonardBizcut saidmy best friend is not a cunt.



    I think your opinion is outnumbered here. He's a cunt.
  • urhereurthere

    Posts: 185

    Jun 12, 2013 8:54 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidI have a solution! I'm looking for a roommate and I'd be happy to invite you to room with me, but I really can't have a roommate with brown eyes and I certainly wouldn't want my friends to see that. So as long as you wear colored contacts this could work!


    LOL i didnt realize you are joking until i read about the brown eyes .-
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:56 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    LeonardBizcut saidmy best friend is not a cunt.



    I think your opinion is outnumbered here. He's a cunt.


    He is acting like one about this issue, which is a bit different. With time, he will have to learn to accept it or find a new friend. Most likely, he will learn to accept it.
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    Jun 12, 2013 8:56 PM GMT
    LeonardBizcut said
    Scruffypup saidI have a solution! I'm looking for a roommate and I'd be happy to invite you to room with me, but I really can't have a roommate with brown eyes and I certainly wouldn't want my friends to see that. So as long as you wear colored contacts this could work!


    LOL i didnt realize you are joking until i read about the brown eyes .-


    Well, asking someone to hide their sexuality is just as ridiculous as asking them to change their eye color, and yet you haven't told this guy to fuck off yet. It's time you made some firm boundaries with this dude. Tell him to back the fuck off and get some therapy.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 12, 2013 8:59 PM GMT
    Ask him "Why do you keep trying to hook me up with women."
    Then, ask him, "You DO know that I'm gay, don't you ?"
    That should take care of everything.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 12, 2013 9:02 PM GMT
    LeonardBizcut said
    AMoonHawk saiddoesn't sound like much of a best friend if he can't accept you for who you are and not worry about what others will think of him. His concern is for himself. Sounds like he is just using you to help pay the rent. Find a new bff.


    I know his concern is for himself and that he needs to accept who I am. But I'm the one moving there. I know the same people he knows there but I don't want to put him in an awkward position



    BUT, YOU'RE PERFECTLY HAPPY TO LET HIM PUT YOU IN AN AWKWARD POSITION ????

    Yes, It certainly seems that you are.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 12, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    I believe I have a solution for you. Tell him you are perfectly fine with seeing a girl and going on double dates with two girls as long as you get to fuck him every night .... then find yourselves a couple of lesbians to hang out with.
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    Jun 12, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    showme saidAnd don't let your friend dictate who you can be out to - it's not fair for FAMILY members to do this, much less friends.


    This...Otherwise time for you to find another place before you move in.

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    Jun 12, 2013 10:44 PM GMT
    LeonardBizcut saidhelp me guys


    As long as you keep your mouth off any of his friends dicks and your pants belted there won't be any problem

    Your friend knows what year he's living in I assume?
  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    Jun 12, 2013 11:00 PM GMT
    I venture to guess your roommate is afraid that f it's known that you're gay, some people may assume he is gay as well, just because he has a gay roommate.