Being single?

  • houseboi90

    Posts: 9

    Nov 01, 2008 5:43 PM GMT
    How does it work out? I've been told that I'm attractive, I have a lot of guys tell me that, all the time. If quite a few people think I'm attractive, then why am I still single?

    I don't know if there is anything I'm doing wrong, so please help out.

    Thanks
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    Nov 01, 2008 6:09 PM GMT
    Because being in a relationship entails and demands more than just being attractive...
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    Nov 01, 2008 8:19 PM GMT
    very good answer, you need a little thing called "being in love"
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    Nov 01, 2008 8:26 PM GMT
    I'd have to know a little bit more about your personality and your interactions with people. Relationships are about more than appearance, they're about connections.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 01, 2008 9:32 PM GMT
    Being anything other than single...
    Usually requires more than one person
    and just being attractive doesn't do anything unless you DO
    something with your Attractiveness icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 01, 2008 10:09 PM GMT
    Im single cause guys suck....most of the hot guys just have a cock in their heads...so take your time and dont rush, its better being alone than with undesired company.
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    Nov 01, 2008 10:43 PM GMT
    houseboi90 saidHow does it work out? I've been told that I'm attractive, I have a lot of guys tell me that, all the time. If quite a few people think I'm attractive, then why am I still single?

    I don't know if there is anything I'm doing wrong, so please help out.

    Thanks


    I asked myself this many times. Then suddenly I thought about all the guys I've rejected...and how they are probably saying the same thing. icon_lol.gif

    Your waiting for a particular guy. Evaluate what exactly are you looking for. See if you have reasonable expectations. If you feel you have expectations that only a very very few men can fulfill, then learn to live with that bar.
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    Nov 02, 2008 1:16 AM GMT
    I was single until aged 47. But I did not crawl under the bed and bemoan my lot!
    Having flown the nest in 1976 at a very old age of 23, and setting up my own home, I began to enjoy my new-found independence, free from parential restraint. I have always loved travel, (my first independent trip out of the UK was to Spain in 1972, aged 19) and I backpacked Europe, that is Italy (my country of origin), France, Germany Holland and Belgium along with Israel (and how I love Jerusalem Old City), Canada (Vancouver to Toronto), the United States, Singapore and Australia (Port Douglas to Sydney)
    Actually, the more I travelled, the more I wished I had stayed at home with my parents. Staying at backpackers hostels, I met people who spend maybe up to two years working and travelling (one was an Irish builder, another was an Aussie builder, whom I chatted in Israel and San Diego respectively. Both said to me that their home is with their parents, and I have spoken to others who said the same.
    Sorry, I am rabbiting on something I have such a passion for. Please excuse me for that.
    My point is: Your life is how you make it.
    You can mope around and bemoan your fate. Or you can make your single status into something useful, memorial or just adventurous.
    Having a partner is much more that sexual attraction. It is a committment for both. For a partnership to work long term, sacrifices would have to be made. In my case I gave up much (but not all) of backpacking.
    I no longer look after number one. Instead my soulmate comes first.
    But being together to us is much more fulfilling than being on my own. But for me this took a long time. Looking back, I now realise that I was not then personally mature enough for a long term relationship.
    Enjoy your singleness while you have it. Carve out a personal story you can relate about. Then when you find someone, you'll have a story to tell.
    Good luck!
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    Nov 02, 2008 1:23 AM GMT
    I think I was in your same position at your age. All I wanted was a boyfriend.
    You're young, just live. If someone comes along then they do, if not you're not tied down to anything.

    Relationships happen when you're ready for one. I believe God puts people in are life for a reason and he takes them away when they need to be taken away. People come and go, but you have to realize that you are still you. No one can change that and no one can make you something you're not.

    Hang in there, it will happen. Somnetimes it's easier being single because you don't have the heartache.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Nov 02, 2008 2:28 AM GMT
    charlitos saidIm single cause guys suck....most of the hot guys just have a cock in their heads...so take your time and dont rush, its better being alone than with undesired company.


    Indeed.
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:31 AM GMT
    Most guys at 18 are single. One could argue that you are SUPPOSED to be single. Dating perhaps, but not hitched in the sense of an LTR.

    So please define single at 18.
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    Nov 02, 2008 3:28 AM GMT


    Today, we are in a new era of what I think most are looking for. ROMANCE!

    If you look around you see all the talk about marriage, gay marriage and even the huge battle between them both Straight Vs. Gay.

    I am sure all the chatter has many longing for a relationship of some kind. It's nice to have a partner you can be with and do things with. Someone to chill with, make lunch for or go hiking with. It was really nice to see this cute gay couple out today (35-40ish). They were out at one of my favorite sunny spots...naked....

    I happened to catch em being bad boys and just backed off and sat and soaked it in. Later when they walked by I could see they were a couple and we chatted and I found that they had just recently became "hitched". That was nice and they even had rings on.

    I know many men must feel a lot of anxiety about the prospects of finding a partner. My answer to this is...all in due time. I think time is a factor along with good timing. My suggestion would be.....while your looking for true love.......to improve on your own communication skills. Develop your mind, body and soul the best you can. Things work out, all in due time. So don't worry to much. Relax and create a good vibe and let that attract your future partner.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxrWRN0aq2c
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    Nov 02, 2008 3:34 AM GMT
    There's not a damned thing wrong with being single.

    I enjoy bachelorhood just as much as being in a relationship. Both have pros and cons.

    The trick to living a satisfying life is to be able to function well in either state. Meaning you have to like yourself and work toward being a fulfilled person as part of a we or simply as a me.
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    Nov 02, 2008 3:56 AM GMT
    If guys tell you that you are hot... and that makes you wonder why you are single... you might need to analzye what you want in a relationship.

    I'd be more flattered if a guy said: wow you are really nice/kind/caring/smart and have a great heart/personality/characteristics/etc.

    If you want a relationship based on body image.. go after the ones who compliment your looks. If not and u want something less superfical... start lookin around... in the right places though
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    Nov 02, 2008 4:01 AM GMT
    I'd like a relationship but at the same time I LOVE being single. Do I sleep around, Nope. But I guess maturity is gonna make me want to settle.
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    Nov 02, 2008 4:17 AM GMT
    As much as I like the idea that we can all be happy single, I still think there are plenty of people out there who simply aren't wired that way.
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    Nov 02, 2008 4:20 AM GMT
    Humans aren't generally wired to be solitary. We are social creatures. Hence the first gatherings, the first tribes, villages and burgeoning of civilization. But within that context, the sufferable existential loneliness of singlehood is not so terrible as to ruin a life.

    Edit: Oops, it said are instead of aren't, lol. I was contradicting myself.
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    Nov 02, 2008 4:22 AM GMT
    RunintheCity saidHumans are generally wired to be solitary. We are social creatures. Hence the first gatherings, the first tribes, villages and burgeoning of civilization. But within that context, the sufferable existential loneliness of singlehood is not so terrible as to ruin a life.


    Yeah, except...thats your opinion. There's nearly 7 billion people on earth. Can we apply the position on all of them?
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    Nov 02, 2008 5:34 AM GMT
    Nothing wrong with being single. I too have heard a few of these things (although I personally dont see it in myself).

    Being attractive is only half the battle won and something like a relationship definately requires more then just looking good since everyone has a different perspective on what is and isn['t attractive.

    I say have while being singel and play the field a bit til you find the right patch of grass you wanna lay in. LOL.
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    Nov 02, 2008 5:35 AM GMT
    Being single is way hard. It messes with your self esteem. I was closeted in middle and high school, and I know my self image is altered because of it; trapped in a prison of my own design. You have been told you are attractive yet you don't believe it because you are single. You lack the validation your straight peers gained easily through flirting and realtionships.
    Your self esteem sufferes because growing up in a society that sifles gay expression not only makes you feel more different than any human should ever feel, but forces homosexual attraction into darkness. More questions come into play when interested in someone, are they gay? do they have a boyfriend? would they even be interested in someone like me? You start to doubt yourself as you conform to the norms of society and stifle your feelings by not taking the chance on the guy that could be your future husband.

    The only advice I can give is to wait, and remember that youre still young. It's better things are real then empty. I didn't date high middle or high school, being with a girl would just be a lie and I'd feel worse for the deception. Because of this I'm a virgin in every way, never even been kissed, but I know that when things happen and when they're honest, it will be worth all those years I spent burning in solitude.

    Don't worry, just have patience
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Nov 02, 2008 6:05 AM GMT
    As someone who has had the opportunity to live with boyfriends [been in 3 significant relationships]...I can enjoy being single and rarely worry about what might happen in the future...

    I know I was much more preoccupied in dating/relationships and all that stuff when I was younger...mostly because I didn't have the quality of friends, skills to maneuver through life, financial stability, and self-esteem that I do now...

    ...everyone learns those lessons in their own sweet time...

    worry about it if you want...listen to us...or don't...eventually, I'm certain, you'll figure it out...

    - David icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 02, 2008 12:36 PM GMT
    Azstreaker said

    .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxrWRN0aq2c


    off topic, Azstreaker, loved that video and especially the way that guy danced, wow, very hot.

    on topic, being single is fun man, go out and enjoy yourself, then sometime when you are not looking, when you have learned to love yourself and you are truly attractive because you shine from the inside out, then the man you want will be there.
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:04 PM GMT
    alexander7 said

    on topic, being single is fun man, go out and enjoy yourself, then sometime when you are not looking, when you have learned to love yourself and you are truly attractive because you shine from the inside out, then the man you want will be there."



    And if he's not there, you're okay with it because you're living a fulfilling life.
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:09 PM GMT
    alexander7 said

    on topic, being single is fun man, go out and enjoy yourself, then sometime when you are not looking, when you have learned to love yourself and you are truly attractive because you shine from the inside out, then the man you want will be there."


    And if he's not, you're okay with it because you're whole in yourself as a person and you're living a fulfilling life.
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:34 PM GMT
    CitizenSol said
    RunintheCity saidHumans are generally wired to be solitary. We are social creatures. Hence the first gatherings, the first tribes, villages and burgeoning of civilization. But within that context, the sufferable existential loneliness of singlehood is not so terrible as to ruin a life.


    Yeah, except...thats your opinion. There's nearly 7 billion people on earth. Can we apply the position on all of them?


    Actually there's a large body of research out there about the social nature of homo sapiens.