Attraction to dudes a surprise?

  • chris_hasting...

    Posts: 197

    Jun 14, 2013 2:25 AM GMT
    Seems like all I hear about from gays is that they always knew they liked men.

    Has anyone been somewhat surprised/shocked at the realization or am I the only one? it hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere.
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    Jun 14, 2013 2:36 AM GMT
    I picked up on it in my late teens, though it wasn't a lightning bolt moment. I was in a strange sort of denial for several years, where I fantasized about guys but didn't think I was gay, like it was a phase or something.

    I do know that I was never attracted to girls though.
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    Jun 14, 2013 2:47 AM GMT
    I didn't make the realization until late in my life, so I was pretty shocked when I made the realization. It was a long progression of facts I didn't put together, but when I did put it all together, I was stunned.

    Me? Gay? After several girl crushes as a kid? And my family being religious?

    You can imagine the denial I went through.

    But looking back as a kid, I was also attracted to a male classmate and muscled guys.
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    Jun 14, 2013 4:11 AM GMT
    I'm often surprised by whom I'm attracted to. But that I'm attracted to guys generally? No, that never surprised me.

    I've known since I was a little kid. I don't easily relate to figuring it out late in life but what has surprised me is how many people tell your story. I never would have guessed that.

    I don't know if that's repression or what. I might be able to somewhat relate to it like a memory lost. I notice this when I'm with my childhood friends. Each one of us remembers vividly times of all of us together that the others don't recall at all.

    That's a bit different than forgetting something or never having known about yourself. But it is a personal experience some of us forgot. And certainly we discover things about ourselves throughout our lives. Sex seems a bit basic but even if we experience life similarly, realizations don't occur in identical order.

    I've got a friend discovering his varied sexuality only now in his 50s. You'll have 25 years more fun than that. Enjoy it.

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    Sometimes what we see depends on what we look at.
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    Jun 14, 2013 4:50 AM GMT
    I was sort of like dc0776. All throughout my youth I was mesmerized by good looking guys and dick but it never occurred to me that I was gay. But this was way long ago, when being gay was never talked about and so you didn't realize that it was a possibility. Even after I'd had sex with several guys I was in denial and thought it would go away, for example, when I got married. Luckily I never went that far with the charade. When I finally realized that I was gay (age 21) it was a huge relief for me; the big puzzle finally solved. At that point I quickly degenerated into a tawdry slut and enjoyed every minute of it. Through sheer dumb luck I dodged the HIV bullet and became celibate.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jun 14, 2013 1:55 PM GMT
    I knew from a very early age but I've known other men who've said they didn't 'get' it until much later. Apparently it isn't that uncommon. One guy I remember saying he was in college and was just looking at some random guy on the street when he realized *how* he was looking at him, totally checking him out. Surprise! icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 14, 2013 2:00 PM GMT
    I knew when i was 14.
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    Jun 14, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    No shock whatsoever.

    I've never been interested in girls. And looking back, I remember looking at PE teacher's sexy muscular calves. I must have been 10/11yrs old; not sexually aware, but definitely drawn to the male physique.
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    Jun 14, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    I realized it when I was 14 in my freshmen year of high school. It actually shocked me a little but not too much, it felt more like I accepted myself and quit living in denial. I always felt something for men that I couldn't feel for females no matter what, so I went with my heart, and despite external forces things were a little better.
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    Jun 14, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    Somewhat surprising. I had my first, big crush on a girl in my class when I was 11. All day every day I ached to see her and be around her and, the times when we could sit together touching, was a euphoria I'd never known till then.

    I never made a real move with her, being twelve. But as I got older, I started "noticing" and being drawn inexplicably to other guys. I found myself wanting to see more and more of them and wanting to make them feel good in my presence. It hit me like a lightning bolt in Sophomore year of high school. I'd read a magazine about keeping stress bottled up and realized that I liked guys.

    Between my first crush and that realization, it took about 6 years for the polarity of my attractions to swing from girls to guys so it was definitely weird. Growing up, I was already thinking about what kind of woman I'd marry but I guess that plan had God laughing like crazy. icon_lol.gif
  • mmnt

    Posts: 69

    Jun 14, 2013 2:12 PM GMT
    I knew it when I was 6th grade. I knew how to judge and compare the male physiques and admired muscular guys. Never had any curiosity on girls nor cared about their bodies. They never turned me on.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jun 14, 2013 2:12 PM GMT
    A wild, drunken Thanksgiving 3 way, with my (at the time) best friend and his wife sealed my sexual fate for me.

    When he & I both woke up late Friday morning, his wife was curled up against the far edge of the bed. He and I were both naked and hard, wrapped up in each other's arms & legs.

    Contrary to being strange or perverted (as I would had imagined a week earlier), it felt comfortable and natural to me.


    icon_biggrin.gif
  • jarvxs

    Posts: 7

    Jun 14, 2013 2:16 PM GMT
    knew right from the start, i must have been 12
  • JohnDoe9688

    Posts: 118

    Jun 14, 2013 2:24 PM GMT
    I knew when I was in 4th grade, maybe even earlier but I remember that year specifically. It always sounds strange to me when I hear guys talk about "finding out" in high school or even post HS.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 14, 2013 2:27 PM GMT
    I always knew I was attracted to guys.... Whips and chains came as a surprise though.icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 14, 2013 2:29 PM GMT
    Can't say it was a surprise but did started click in my teens..Although I did have crushes on girls...It seemed forced...
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 14, 2013 2:31 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidCan't say it was a surprise but did started click in my teens..Although I did have crushes on girls...It seemed forced...

    Just because you wanted to wear her dress doesn't mean you had "feelings" for her.icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gif
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    Jun 14, 2013 2:34 PM GMT
    I think I was about 14 or 15 and I remember getting changed with my mate in the changing rooms just before P.E and for the first time really paying attention his body and just like going 'wow' in my mind (he was on the rugby team at school).

    This also coincided around the time that an older family friend was staying with us as a lodger and had the habit of coming home from the gym and asking me how his 'progress' was going by removing his top.
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    Jun 14, 2013 4:43 PM GMT
    I thought I liked a girl once. But it turns out I was just obsessed with how much she looked like Shania Twain. The woman I loved when I was like 8. Though around the 5th grade I found out I had an infatuation with guys. Didn't know what to call it till freshmen year. I grew up in a little town so I didn't know any better.
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    Jun 14, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    WaytoDawn saidI didn't make the realization until late in my life... 


    You're 21!

    My 19 year old friend at work makes references like thay and it cracks me up. icon_lol.gif

    I can remember being hot for men in my neighborhood before my family moved elsewhere. I was seven then.
  • Smakkyoface

    Posts: 198

    Jun 14, 2013 4:50 PM GMT
    Ive had crushes on guys since I was 4 or 5. I was in denial but looking back, if there was no stigma, I woulda come out at 5. I had crushes on the boys in my pre school lol.
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    Jun 14, 2013 7:41 PM GMT
    Smakkyoface saidIve had crushes on guys since I was 4 or 5. I was in denial but looking back, if there was no stigma, I woulda come out at 5. I had crushes on the boys in my pre school lol.


    I was wondering how young it would go. I remember when I was in 1st grade there was a guy who lived above us in the apartments where we lived and I was mesmerized by him. All throughout my youth there were guys that I could have stared at all day. I never had a clue. Now, looking back it's kind of amusing.
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    Jun 14, 2013 7:55 PM GMT
    chris_hastings1 saidSeems like all I hear about from gays is that they always knew they liked men.

    Has anyone been somewhat surprised/shocked at the realization or am I the only one? it hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere.


    I used to be very religious, and as part of that was raised believing that being gay is a sin. Like going to hell kind of sin.

    So the realization for me was kinda scary at first, more so than it was a surprise or a shock.
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    Jun 14, 2013 10:33 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    WaytoDawn saidI didn't make the realization until late in my life... 


    You're 21!

    My 19 year old friend at work makes references like thay and it cracks me up. icon_lol.gif

    I can remember being hot for men in my neighborhood before my family moved elsewhere. I was seven then.


    I kind of get the humor, but how are we young people supposed to refer to time period?
    I would use recently, but It's been a couple of years now. All in the eye of the beholder I guess.
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    Jun 15, 2013 3:55 AM GMT
    since i started jerkin off i knew that i was sexually attracted to men...

    but what surprised me was that other people considered ME weird.icon_surprised.gificon_surprised.gificon_surprised.gificon_surprised.gif